enchanted771 Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 We spent a lot of time together...my birthday, the holiday, and I went to his family event. Today he’s super quiet claiming he is busy but I’m 100% not buying it.
GorillaTheater Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Why do you think he's lying about being busy? A possibility is that, if he's spent a lot of time with people lately, he might need some alone time to recharge. I'm kind of wired that way. It's no reflection on you. 2
emeraldgreen Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 We're like phones. There's only so much time you can have us switched on with 20 apps open before we need a recharge. Or, he might genuinely have work to catch up on or other relationships (friends, colleagues, family) to recultivate so that he's not all about you and your time together.
basil67 Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 One guy being busy for a day is hardly 'men pulling back after getting close'. Why don't you trust that he's being honest? Does he have a history of lying....or do you have a history of being needy? 1
alphamale Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 he's just chillin' and spending some valuable "me time" 1
Foxhall Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Id be on the same wavelength as Gorilla there, need a bit of time out too, even with girl that going well with, enjoy the distance and space, It could be what your fearing too I suppose, that he is losing interest after the initial infatuation, but no need to think that just yet, time will tell, great if it works out, but try not to get too bothered if it does not.(How do I do that says you!)
Author enchanted771 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 One guy being busy for a day is hardly 'men pulling back after getting close'. Why don't you trust that he's being honest? Does he have a history of lying....or do you have a history of being needy?its me and my neediness
Author enchanted771 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 Why do you think he's lying about being busy? A possibility is that, if he's spent a lot of time with people lately, he might need some alone time to recharge. I'm kind of wired that way. It's no reflection on you. he said it was nothing personal. I guess I worry too much...
schlumpy Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 What is so special about today that he needs to respond to you right away? It appears he has spent quality time with you. It would be nice if the magic of a new relationship would sweep the floor, do the dishes, wash the car, cut the grass, grocery shop, pay the bills, balance the check book, run errands for his parents, get an oil change, keep up with his friends, work overtime, etc, etc ...… Where is all this suspicion coming from? Best Wishes
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 It would be nice if the magic of a new relationship would sweep the floor, do the dishes, wash the car, cut the grass, grocery shop, pay the bills, balance the check book, run errands for his parents, get an oil change, keep up with his friends, work overtime, etc, etc ...… Haha! So true!
Author enchanted771 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 (edited) Id be on the same wavelength as Gorilla there, need a bit of time out too, even with girl that going well with, enjoy the distance and spaceWe have had our ups and downs, but we have never gone a full week without talking..I think maybe 3 days at the most. Even when we had a fight... Edited July 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author enchanted771 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 What is so special about today that he needs to respond to you right away? It appears he has spent quality time with you. It would be nice if the magic of a new relationship would sweep the floor, do the dishes, wash the car, cut the grass, grocery shop, pay the bills, balance the check book, run errands for his parents, get an oil change, keep up with his friends, work overtime, etc, etc ...… Where is all this suspicion coming from? Best Wishesi don’t know for sure where. We did separate for a period of time, because of it so I don’t want that to happen again.
schlumpy Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 i don’t know for sure where. We did separate for a period of time, because of it so I don’t want that to happen again. How long can you go without requiring some type (text, phone call, email, visit) reassurance from him? Is he affectionate towards you? Does he have a special name for you that only he uses? I will assume exclusivity is a part of your relationship. Not many details but I feel your doubt. Is there something he does, says or acts like that is feeding your feeling of uneasiness? You should be happy with your friends wondering what you are smiling about all the time. They should be avoiding you because all you talk about is your great relationship. And yet, here you are and I wonder why. Best Wishes
Author enchanted771 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Posted July 10, 2019 We talk daily so when things go off course I worry...
Author enchanted771 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Posted July 10, 2019 (edited) How long can you go without requiring some type (text, phone call, email, visit) reassurance from him? Is he affectionate towards you? Does he have a special name for you that only he uses?.... we have been talking and texting everyday nonstop since last Monday..I try not to take it personal because I’m sure it’s not me but that he is concentrating on himself. It’s hard sometimes because I worry he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore or something..I know it’s silly. I’m not reaching out for a few days. Edited July 10, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author enchanted771 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Posted July 10, 2019 So update on previous post about pulling back. I spoke to him and apparently he needs some alone time this weekend. I kind of had that vibe that he needed some alone time. So I won’t see him until like next week or weekend..but I’m going to let him initiate even if it ends up being longer then it is what it is. He had been neglecting responsibilities and other things because we have been attached at the hip. I also have been doing that, so maybe this isn’t a bad thing.. 1
schlumpy Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 He had been neglecting responsibilities and other things because we have been attached at the hip. I also have been doing that, so maybe this isn’t a bad thing.. Nothing can be bad thing in a relationship as long as both or you are still pointing towards each other regardless of where you are in daily life. Don't be taken advantage of but also don't expect the sky to fall at any moment. Best Wishes
Author enchanted771 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Posted July 10, 2019 Nothing can be bad thing in a relationship as long as both or you are still pointing towards each other regardless of where you are in daily life. Don't be taken advantage of but also don't expect the sky to fall at any moment. Best Wishestaken advantage of how
smackie9 Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 Advantage that he can do whatever he wants, and doesn't feel he owes you anything even an explanation, unless you beat it out of him. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Posted July 10, 2019 Advantage that he can do whatever he wants, and doesn't feel he owes you anything even an explanation, unless you beat it out of him. Nope, he will not get a minute of my time if he does that 1
alphamale Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 So update on previous post about pulling back. I spoke to him and apparently he needs some alone time this weekend. I kind of had that vibe that he needed some alone time. So I won’t see him until like next week or weekend..but I’m going to let him initiate even if it ends up being longer then it is what it is. He had been neglecting responsibilities and other things because we have been attached at the hip. I also have been doing that, so maybe this isn’t a bad thing.. during the break why not go and have your hair done or something like that 2
Author enchanted771 Posted July 10, 2019 Author Posted July 10, 2019 during the break why not go and have your hair done or something like that I am going to keep busy..it’s only a few days not forever.
kendahke Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 its me and my neediness work on that with a therapist before you destroy your relationship behind neediness.
Author enchanted771 Posted July 12, 2019 Author Posted July 12, 2019 I think I set myself up to be hurt by this guy...we didn’t see eachother for 2 months because of a situation. I took the blame and he put me on a “time out” we started seeing eachother again and we did not have sex. Everything was great. Then out of the blue for no apparent reason he pulls back, says he wants to be alone, etc. He texted me today and everything was fine. I spoke to him on the phone and a few min later I call him to ask him something. He was commuting and irritated because I didn’t hear him so he hangs up on me. Then he calls me a few min later, and is talking to me in a very disrespectful and condescending tone told me not to contact him all weekend and how he wants to be alone. Told me I contact him too much, how I kept bringing up hanging out, and feels I am trying to get him to commit to a schedule. I’m not! We discussed getting together for dinner and maybe I brought it up more than once but I feel very strongly that his reaction is due to him having an avoidant attachment issue. Said I’m not respecting healthy boundaries. I find it really strange how we were talking non stop, texting non stop and all of a sudden now he backing off to avoid any real commitment. He called out from work one day and lied about it. Then told me the next day I was texting too much. I have a feeling I’m not the only girl he is seeing. I know overbearing texts can really be annoying, but if your into someone it isn’t an annoyance and spending more time together isn’t a bad thing. He said not to text him until Monday. I can do better...how about never??!!
ExpatInItaly Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 OP, after reading your previous thread and this one - this isn't going to go anywhere with this guy. You two are very incompatible and, rightly or wrongly, he is annoyed to the point of not wanting to hear from you. There's very little chance you two will find your way back from that. There's too much resentment and frustration on both sides. It's time to call it a day on this situation and not contact him anymore. 1
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