Is this really a marriage proposal or a business deal?

[Proposalforreal]

I believe his proposal is for love but also HIS not MY security financially. I am very well settled and he is not and we are both in our 60s. We do love each other a lot and enjoy our company but I feel like I'm being used honestly. Even the "proposal" was very unromantic other than him saying he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me (yes, that's very romantic) but he just sat across from me like we were in a business meeting. The night before he got so mad when I asked him about one of his bills he stood above me yelling the "f" word (saying "F.... You" to me several times) and stormed out of my house. Then a marriage proposal the next night....really?

 

He says its good for both of us...that I will be more relaxed about his financial responsibility and we are good for each other. Further, that time is not on our side since we've been together almost 7 years and we are getting much older.

 

 

That may be true but how can he treat me that way one night and the next night be so lovey dovey? Is this an act or what? He made me apologize for asking the question about the bill and even looking into it. I explained I did barbecue if we were to live together I need to know he can be relied on to pay his part.

 

How can I possibly marry him or for that matter, even live with him? He yells at me too often and I don't even raise my voice and he always stands above me when he does it while I'm sitting....very intimidating.

[introverted1]

OP, you seem to post the same question every few weeks, using a new name each time. What are you looking for that previous responses haven't provided?

 

You're in your 60s, so plenty old enough to know what you want... and what you don't.

 

If you're intimidated by this guy, then why do you stay?

[schlumpy]

Should you accept his proposal? From what you have written I would say no. You made a pretty good case against him all without my help.

 

I know the pool of eligible men is slimmer past 60. We don't last as long as you ladies but I find it hard to believe that you haven't met someone better in the last seven years.

 

He forbids you to check out his financial status and makes you apologize for doing so?

 

Show him the door.

 

Best Wishes

[PRW]

like I'm being used honestly. Even the "proposal" was very unromantic other than him saying he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me (yes, that's very romantic) but he just sat across from me like we were in a business meeting.

Doesn't sound very "lovey dovey" to me.

 

The night before he got so mad when I asked him about one of his bills he stood above me yelling the "f" word (saying "F.... You" to me several times) and stormed out of my house. Then a marriage proposal the next night....really?

How could you possibly think that is normal or good behavor?

 

He made me apologize for asking the question about the bill and even looking into it. I explained I did barbecue if we were to live together I need to know he can be relied on to pay his part.

He's GASLIGHTING you!! That is classic narcissistic behavor. You are his "victim" and you don't even know it.

 

Generally, modern-day gaslighting takes place in the context of a relationship in which one partner is manipulative, self-centered, low on empathy, and has a vested interest in always being right. This is an apt description of many people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. [https://www.psychologytoday.com]

 

Read more of it here:

https://medium.com/@OwnYourReality/gaslighting-the-narcissists-favorite-tool-caeb7345177

[schlumpy]

OP, you seem to post the same question every few weeks, using a new name each time. What are you looking for that previous responses haven't provided?

 

Thanks for the heads up.

[Ruby Slippers]

You feel like you're being used because you are. That and the yelling and intimidation make the prospect of marrying this guy a nightmare.