Considering Suicide !!!???

[Cupcake]

I really feel really bad. I recently met a guy from the UK who was really nice. We were getting along great. I was planning to visit him in a few months. He used to call me every day. Then the calls narrowed down to every other day. Now, he hasn't called me all week. I called him and he never answered. I sent him an email message. He didn't respond. I was starting to wonder if something terrible happened to him.

 

But he has a Hi5 account online that allows viewers to see all of his friends. I used to be his only friend in his profile. He was my only friend. But sometime this week, he added a new friend to his profile. She is beautiful. And she is two years younger than me. I can't help but believe that she is the reason he hasn't contacted me. Maybe he never wants to speak to me again. But I never did anything or said anything wrong. He could have at least told me goodbye. I just don't understand

 

To make matters worse, I tried to talk to my mother tonight about the way I feel. We aren't really close, but I expect her to BE A MOTHER when I need her. She has been giving me a hard time about not being married. I'm 25 years old. All of my high school friends are married. I have a cousin who is 27. She just got married two weeks ago to a man that she dated the past five years. Since then, my mother has been bagering me more about my single status. It almost seems as though she blames me for being single, as though I can control it.

 

When I tell my mother about the men I date, she agrees that they are horrible and I shouldn't date them. But she doesn't offer any ecouragement that I will meet somebody better. Instead, she tells me that I shouldn't have premarital sex (she's a Christian). If I plan to remain single forever, I must be celebate otherwise I will die and go to hell. And I should hurry to get married because after 30 years old, it's difficult for a woman to bear children.

 

She said this in a critical way as though I had done something wrong and she was correcting me. I feel as though she blames me for being single. My heart is semi-broken from having lost my UK man, and my mother basically tells me it's all my fault. I am so tired of hearing her brag about other peoples marriages. I'm just crying and I don't know what to do. No one understands what I'm going through. Everybody keeps hurting me and I don't know why. I can't even ask the UK man what I did wrong because he won't contact me. I really want to just die. I don't know how much more I can take.

[Outcast]

If you don't have good friends or sisters or cousins or other people you confide in, then go see a counsellor. Unfortunately, if your mother has not ever been much of a mother, chances are pretty poor that she'll start.

 

LIfe should not be weighing so heavily on you. You need some help to get through this. Call your doctor tomorrow and when you see your doctor, talk about how you're feeling. You may be prescribed medication, given a referral to a counselor, or both. Please do this for yourself.

[Cupcake]

I don't know what good a counselor will do. I don't have a lot of money. I will have to pay them to talk to me. That's even worse. And I don't want to depend on medication to make me feel good. I just want my life to be more like other peoples. You're right. I should have friends or sisters or cousins to talk to. But everyone around me is just so decietful and jealous. When I tell them I feel sad, that makes them happy. And they share my secrets with other people who use it against me. I can't trust anyone. It's been like this all my life. I don't know who to trust. The only way a counselor can help me is to get me a friend, and that person remains my friend forever and never abandon's or decievs me.

[lynnered]

i am 27 years old just out of a 4year bad situation ,

i am starting over ,

U are young ,U do not need a relationship right now ,U need to work on U ALOT,a man is not going to make Ur life happy & perfect .

not a doctor but go to therapy:) & read alot I feel U have many issues ,

do U live at home ?

have a job?

U need to let Ur mother know how U feel in a nice asserative way ,

If U dont live at home i would limit time spent & time talking to her,shes doing nothing but bringing U down.

U do need a therapist ,,if U cant afford they have programs also suicide hotlines for free U can talk to someone ,maybe medication &its not to make U feel good its to calm or balance the chemicals in U,so U can heal.

U want Ur life more like other peoples ?

ok so what are U doing to make that happen?

are U taking care of yourself ?

working hard ,doing things that interest U ,meeting new people,not having people in your life that bring U down.

 

"But everyone around me is just so decietful and jealous. When I tell them I feel sad, that makes them happy. And they share my secrets with other people who use it against me.'

in my opinion U seem a little paranoid ,or U really need to change the company U keep ,dont tell people Ur secrets & U are the only person who will never abandon U .

a counselor will not get U friends but teach U how to be Ur best friend ,to love yourself ,again U have many issues please get help & goodluck

[Cupcake]

I live alone. I have a great job that is higly competative. I can't trust my co-workers because they are all competing with me at work. That's the nature of our job. I love the job, but I hate not being friends with my co-workers. We talk and hang out together sometimes. But it's very shallow. I meet lots of attractive men at work. The man from the UK was one of those men. Look how it turned out.

 

I'm also attending college part-time to get another degree. I meet a lot of guys at school. But so far, the ones I've dated have girlfriends already. Or they don't want serious relationships. I am very active around school and work. Many people know me, but they always see me smiling and happy because I usually hide my sadness.

 

They say things to me like, "oh you have a beautiful smile. You are soo nice." But when I try to befriend them, they aren't interested. It's like they already have friends and don't want anymore. So I'm alone. The older I get, the harder it is to simply make friends. If I had a friend, I wouldn't care about a boyfriend or a husband...at least not right now. I feel like I have a black cloud over my head entitled "kick me, hate me" that traveles everywhere I go. I can't get rid of it.

[dr strangelove]

"Kick me hate me?" sounds very S&M?..yum

 

How is your day going miss cupcake?

[Winger]

Cupcake,

 

You are only 25 years old...why the rush to get married? If you read some stats on marriages, you'll find that MOST marriages that begin before 25 end in divorce. Be patient and you will meet the right guy. Look in the right places. Stray from the beaten path and you'll end up finding someone special. Instead of meeting people at bars, go to libraries or take up some activities that interest you - you'll eventual meet someone great.

 

Sometimes families are inconsiderate and pushy. Your mother sounds like she wants you to get married and have kids so HER life can be fulfilled. You should have a serious conversation with her and tell her how you feel and that you need her support. If she remains the same, block her out of your life and meet new people. Counselling is always a good option too...and you don't always have to pay. You can fnd services that are non-profit and stuff. I go to a counsellor once every two weeks and it only cost $5.00 Canadian. And if you think talking to a stranger won't help, you're wrong. It feels good to get everything off your chest.

 

As far as suicide goes...that won't solve anything. Please don't even consider it. We all get VERY low sometimes, but ending your life prematurely will not solve anything. A family member of mine committed suicide because his spouse left him...it didn't solve anything. The future could've held brighter days but he didn't look that far ahead, but in his situation, that's what he NEEDED to do. You can't expect to feel better the next day, but after a few months, the sun will shine even brighter. Just remember that. You'd be missing out on a lot - sunny days, ice cream, good movies, meeting great people etc.

 

Give it time...in a month or two, this UK guy will be a distant memory and you'll probably have somebody way, way, way, way, better. I know you feel like he didn't give you any "closure" by saying goodbye or explaining anything, but try not to feel sad over that because sometimes people are just inconsiderate - instead, look at it as a preamble for good things to come. Hope this helped. Good luck.

[Cupcake]

I do feel a bit better. I thought about the advice you all gave me. I went to school today and approaced a guy whom I've had a crush on since the summer. I figured, I was already feeling as bad as I could ever feel. Rejection from him couldn't make me feel worse.

 

I asked him out. He was surprised and flattered. He gave me a lot of compliments and accepted my offer. We made a date for lunch Saturday.

 

Then I went to work and met another attractive man. Unfortunately, he lives in Germany. But he travels to the states frequently. He approached me, boldly. His desire for my attention was so obvious, it made my co-workers stop and stare at his interaction with me. I was almost embarrased. We exchanged emails.

 

I'm not expecting anything to happen with either of these guys. But it gave me hope that I do have more options than death. I realized that I should be more assertive about the people I allow into my life. So far, I've always accepted people who have approached me FIRST.

 

I never made the first move. I missed a lot of opportunities with men I liked because I was too shy and conservative to approach them. I ended up with horrible people whom I never really wanted in the first place. I just tolerated them because I didn't have anyone else. I was greatful to have "someone."

 

I'm going to make some drastic changes to the way I live my life. No longer will I tolerate disappointment from people who should love me. Especially my mother. It makes me angry that all the people who hurt me continue to live their lives while making me want to die. And they don't even care.

 

I'm not going to wait for someone to care about me anymore. Instead, I will focus more on caring for other people. After all, that's what truly makes me happy. If they disappear for no reason, then I will cry and miss them. But I won't stop caring for the people who remain in my life. And I won't stop seaching for more. I'll try not to take rejection so personally. I'm going to be more critical of the people I associate with.