confused_gf Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Hi guys, quick question... I'm talking to a guy online, haven't met him in person yet. The guy is asking all kinds of questions. He asks what's the craziest thing I've ever done. I'm no angel virgin as far as sex goes but I am trying to save my next time for the man I will marry. Trying to avoid seeming slutty I tell him about a crazy guy I've dated and past blunders like living out of a car in Hawaii. He mentions a couple things he did and also mentions he once had sex with a girl without protection. It made it seem like he was trying to gauge how "wild" I am or what I would make of it/if I've done anything similar. I don't like men prying into my sexual history because a lot of the guys who've done that in the past ended up being super weird and it left me feeling exposed, almost violated. Frankly, I feel that's a conversation for after a relationship has been established and moreover I feel it's more classy to be discreet on the matter. I also kind of saw it as a red flag of somebody who is not boyfriend or marriage material. Am I wrong for that? How would you take it? 1
JEG88 Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 You don't owe him anything. If it makes you uncomfortable, ignore/block him and move on. I would take it much the same way as you if a woman on OLD started asking me similar sex questions. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 It would be put me off if someone I had never met asked me what my wildest stories were, and then also proceeded to tell me about his sexual history. I don't see that as a particularly mature, so I would personally take a hard pass. 2
crispytoast Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 I usually use "are you into girls also?" as a Tinder opener and if they say yes, I pitch a ménage à trois with another tinder match for the first date. Then we compare number of sex partners and the person with the highest number gets to be the star of the party first. Jokes aside yes that's creepy and don't meet up with that guy. 3
MINAKO Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 You are not in the wrong. All of your discomfort in this situation like feeling exposed and nearly violated - this is your intuition telling you to run. He sounds like a total creep, and definitely does not give the impression of high quality boyfriend material. I would never meet him in person, I can only imagine the disaster.
Caauug Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Yes, a Red Flag for me. Once the cat is out of the bag you can not put it back in. You can not un-tell something. Maybe your wild story is not really that wild in your mind but might be taken that way, by the way the story is told or what is not told.... History is in the past and should stay there unless it affects the future (ties to old partners, kids, STD's etc.). Do not lie about the past but if it doesn't need to be said, don't say it.
PRW Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Hi guys, quick question... I'm talking to a guy online, haven't met him in person yet. The guy is asking all kinds of questions. He asks what's the craziest thing I've ever done. I'm no angel virgin as far as sex goes but I am trying to save my next time for the man I will marry. Trying to avoid seeming slutty Excellent. Stick with that. The rest of it is none of his business. What kind of personal character does it indicate from a person to be asking that from you,...and why does he want to know? Think about that,...why does he want to know? What is he going to do with that information? What could he be doing with that information? What could he do with that information if you are involved with him and he got ticked off at you? How is he any different from some guy sneaking around in the night peeking in your windows?...it is the same thing, he is just doing it digitally. You say you are trying to avoid seeming slutty,...but what are you going to look like dating a guy who is infatuated with these very things? It seems counter productive. 1
PRW Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 You also want to be sure there isn't a body sized bag in the trunk of his car with duct tape and handcuffs laying next to it. 1
Flame Aura Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 I'm a guy and while there's nothing wrong with a bit of flirting before meeting, asking those kind of questions already is a big no no if looking for something serious and long term. He just want to have some sexual fun, definitely not boyfriend material. Next. 2
smackie9 Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 If it's all about sex, then it's just about sex. 1
OatsAndHall Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 No... Just no... I would block him and move on. The guy obviously doesn't have boundaries and you have every right to feel creeped out by him. On one first date, I had a woman ask me about my sexual proclivities and fetishes and got into rather graphic detail about hers. It was a serious turn-off and I ghosted her. 1
preraph Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Uh, don't answer those kind of questions. He's just going to be judgmental and shame you. Guys who have lived a life and have confidence aren't going to need to know your number and try to put you down for it. It's a bad sign in a man. 1
Gaeta Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 He's up to no good, block and move to next. He doesn't care about making a good impression on you, he only wants to talk dirty and get sex on your 1st date. 3
Kitty Tantrum Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Even when I was in an open relationship/marriage and ONLY looking to hook up, those kinds of questions were icky. Like the guy is sitting there trying to masturbate to the conversation. NO THANK YOU. I've never been very nice to those guys, admittedly. They get really mad if you send them naked pictures of yourself... which are actually not naked pictures of you but ARE hardcore gay pornography. Just saying. 2
Versacehottie Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Agree with Gaeta and lots of the others: he is not trying to make a good impression on you, which probably points to his real motive or clunky dating style neanderthalian 2
Redhead14 Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 The guy wants only sex if he ends up meeting a woman and in between, while she's sharing, he's getting personal with Rosie Palm and her 5 sisters . . . keyboard sex instead of phone sex.
PRW Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Like the guy is sitting there trying to masturbate to the conversation. NO THANK YOU.That is EXACTLY what I was imagining when I asked her "What is he doing with that information?".
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