Springsummer Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 "I am here to have meaningful experiences with people" - from a tinder profile. Why is this bothering me among thousands of profile? I paid so I can see the list of people who swiped right on me. I got matched TWICE with this guy previously over the course of almost exactly 1 year. First time he was eager to show me who he is by giving me his real name and asked me to google him (some academically accomplished dude. show off). He didn't reply my last msg for about 1 month so I unmatched him. Second time, saw him swiped right again, so I matched him again and asked if he accidentally swiped right. he indicated no. so we just started to talk and he didn't reply for a couple of weeks. so I unmatched him AGAIN. So, now saw him on the list and read his writing more carefully and I am wondering maybe this guy just wants casual(that's why I am wondering if that line is any indication of that) and that's why it didn't work out with him (never even met) Seriously, if he didn't manage to reply (maybe my communication skills?) why bother again? He looks fine and I really admire brainy people. but I have no idea what to do with him at all at this point.
Author Springsummer Posted July 12, 2019 Author Posted July 12, 2019 and what's the chance he can come across my profile three times in a city of one millions people? (I never came across his while swiping, only saw him on the list so I swiped right on him to match) how hard and often he needs to swipe to have that chance?
chillii Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 Ahhh, dunno spring. He disappears on ya anyway, that alone says forget it. But if he is so brainy then he probably worded his page exactly right, down to the letter. Well , he says experiences , plural. And he says people, also plural. And he might not of even remembered the first time or he was just outa luck or desperate on the day so he tried again. 1
emeraldgreen Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 You can share profiles now, so chances are that he kept the link somewhere link in a text or social media.
Author Springsummer Posted July 12, 2019 Author Posted July 12, 2019 You can share profiles now, so chances are that he kept the link somewhere link in a text or social media. Holy, never pay attention to that. and I am supposed to be a technically savvy. guess I have no faith in the app and always absent minded.
Author Springsummer Posted July 12, 2019 Author Posted July 12, 2019 But if he is so brainy then he probably worded his page exactly right, down to the letter. Well , he says experiences , plural. And he says people, also plural. And he might not of even remembered the first time or he was just outa luck or desperate on the day so he tried again. That was what I was thinking, the 'people'. He definitely is a master with words having published papers on legal issues.
Author Springsummer Posted July 12, 2019 Author Posted July 12, 2019 people means causal...but isn't casual contradictory to meaningful?
PRW Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 (edited) Multiple swipes is common. Tinder as an app just screws up sometimes and "starts over" showing me the same women all over again. It is what it is. "I am here to have meaningful experiences with people" - from a tinder profile.It is written to not offend commitment-phobes who freak out if anyone even hints they might be looking for a relationship,...while at the same time telling those who might want a relationship that there is "hope". But the rest or his behavor shows he is a bit of a flake,...darting this way and darting that way, without being able to stay focused on one target. He may be having insecurity issues that makes him feel he has to brag about accomplishments to "impress the girl". As you said,...(some academically accomplished dude. show off) But nobody is perfect. I'm just describing what I think I see that's all. Edited July 12, 2019 by PRW
kendahke Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 people means causal...but isn't casual contradictory to meaningful? depends upon one's definition of meaningful... it's meaningful to those who can't muster above casual... learn to live with what you can't rise above, so to speak.
smackie9 Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 remember ACTIONS speak louder that WORDS. Never accept what someone puts on their profile as the gospel truth. 2
OatsAndHall Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 There's no point in ruminating over what he has written or how he has acted given the fact that he hasn't actually asked you out. I ask a woman out on a date within the first conversation when using OLD sites if I'm interested. 4
preraph Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 You're on Tinder. That's mostly for people wanting hookups and women who don't seem to understand that's what it's for. Casual. 2
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 It is written to not offend commitment-phobes who freak out if anyone even hints they might be looking for a relationship,...while at the same time telling those who might want a relationship that there is "hope". so you have an opposite opinion than the rest? you actually think he is looking for commitment?
Author Springsummer Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 sigh........guess there is no point to swipe him right again...but I can't really seem to let go though
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 sigh........guess there is no point to swipe him right again...but I can't really seem to let go though Why?...................................... 2
Redhead14 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I think it's a pre-emptive non-committal statement that actually means the opposite of what it says -- he wants casual dating with meaningless sex. The ambiguity itself says dodgy 4
chillii Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Yeah that's what l thought , and the fact he says meaningful , in this case actually make him sound like a bit of a tool to me . 4
spiderowl Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 He has just been rude to you twice and not responded for ages. You did the right thing by disconnecting him. You gave him a second chance for some reason and he is showing his true colours once again. This guy is no good for you. He can't even stay in contact. He is not interested in a relationship; he is only interested in himself. I can understand that line bugging you - it implies more than one person - but his real behaviour shows you what the guy is looking for and it is not anything meaningful with you. 2
dispatch3d Posted July 14, 2019 Posted July 14, 2019 I've swiped multiple times on the same girl before. Though i'm in a small city. Guys are swiping many multiple times more often than you to get a single match, and there's a little bit of a high with getting the match so sometimes I just swipe hoping they will swipe right as well...
Author Springsummer Posted August 12, 2019 Author Posted August 12, 2019 You can share profiles now, so chances are that he kept the link somewhere link in a text or social media. I share his profile to myself and then click the link...didn't work....refusing to bring me to the profile. now if I want to match him again, I have to scroll through my list of likes and find him...and it's a list of almost 5 thousands...after I got rid of thousands...
Author Springsummer Posted August 12, 2019 Author Posted August 12, 2019 Why?...................................... He is kind of attractive....most of all, he is highly intellectual...um...actually that maybe too much for me. the bottom line is there are few profiles that are interesting even I have got thousands of likes. 1
chillii Posted August 12, 2019 Posted August 12, 2019 (edited) Yet still single see this is what l tell the guys it doesn't matter what the numbers are in the end everyone gets effd around on date sites usually for years. Think that means he deleted or blocked ya so it's probably a dead duck whatever the case - unless he contacts you again. On the one l was on you couldn't like someone a second time. Edited August 12, 2019 by chillii
Maggiemay1 Posted August 12, 2019 Posted August 12, 2019 You haven’t heard of the tinder game??? Guys play it all the time! They are on a night out and bet to see who gets more tinder matches. They say ready , steady , go! Swipe right on everyone for a certain amount of time. Then stop. After another defined time , the one with the least matches, pays for the drinks lol I’m female and a past tinder user. I find that hilarious. As a past user I never chatted to a match if they were the one that caused the match ie swiped right after me. Stop over thinking! Also , at lunch breaks , my gay friend loved taking over my tinder and swiping for me. He’d ask me the next day if “he” got any matches lol Such a funny app! I love it! But it’s what you make of it I guess!?!
SumGuy Posted August 12, 2019 Posted August 12, 2019 He is kind of attractive....most of all, he is highly intellectual...um...actually that maybe too much for me. the bottom line is there are few profiles that are interesting even I have got thousands of likes. I wouldn't read much of anything into his words except he can write well. Who knows if he is signaling looking for something longer term, implying he is looking for something long term but really just interested in hook-ups, or maybe it has nothing to do with sex and he is looking for someone he can have deep conversations with. My guess the vagueness is intentional so he can hedge his bets especially as this is Tinder. There are far better sites if he is looking for something with depth and long term. Who knows about his actions, pretty flaky at the least I'd say. My guess is he is communicating with more than one woman and/or casually dating when he has been messaging with you and then when he hits it off with someone he stops messaging with you. Sucks to be ghosted but seems to be the norm. Based on such little information not necessarily red flags, but certainly big yellow ones. 2
Author Springsummer Posted August 14, 2019 Author Posted August 14, 2019 Think that means he deleted or blocked ya so it's probably a dead duck whatever the case - unless he contacts you again. On the one l was on you couldn't like someone a second time. nope, I tried other profiles, same thing happened. so the feature a poster mentioned does not work if you send it to yourself. nope, he can not contact me if I do not 'like' him back. You don't know how the app works, don't you? ha...there were more complications..
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