BJP1991 Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 28 year old male here, most of the women I go out with are around the same age. Been thinking lately I'd like to try more calling, vs texting, when it comes to girls I've been on one or two dates with, since there is some sort of connection already developed. If you get a voicemail, how do you typically proceed? Leave a brief VM for them to call you back, leave VM with proposal for a date or hangout session, or leave no VM and send a text instead? I've been thinking that with girls who I connect with better on early dates, it is worth trying a call instead of a text (partly as a self-experiment and to help myself grow in the dating realm), and to further develop the connection with a girl, while getting to the point and making the 2nd/3rd/4th date, etc. Obviously I only use the phone to set dates, so I won't let it turn into any chitchat nonsense. Thoughts on voicemail messages? Thanks
lurker74 Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 Most of the time, I do not leave a voicemail. The missed call is enough. The exception is when there was an agreed upon call to be made. Like, if she says, "Give me a call around 7 tonight," or you say, "I'll call you later this afternoon." Then I leave a light and brief, "Hey, just calling to say hi. I'll talk to you soon," or some such. And FWIW, calling has been in my play book for a while. It shows confidence and effort. I've garnered the nickname "phone guy" with my dates' friends more than once, always in a good way.
Author BJP1991 Posted July 11, 2019 Author Posted July 11, 2019 Most of the time, I do not leave a voicemail. The missed call is enough. The exception is when there was an agreed upon call to be made. Like, if she says, "Give me a call around 7 tonight," or you say, "I'll call you later this afternoon." Then I leave a light and brief, "Hey, just calling to say hi. I'll talk to you soon," or some such. And FWIW, calling has been in my play book for a while. It shows confidence and effort. I've garnered the nickname "phone guy" with my dates' friends more than once, always in a good way. Right on. In the most recent case, I took a girl out on Sunday evening for a first date and it went pretty well. On the date, we talked about a bar that we both happened to love going to, and towards the end of the date, I mentioned if she was free the coming Saturday, we should get out there together. She seemed keen on the idea, but I didn't finalize plans then. I plan to give her a call this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon, to see if she's still free Saturday or perhaps an evening next week.
LauraXX Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 I hate speaking on the phone so if somebody leaves me a VM, I'd just text him back. However, that's definitely not the case for all women. One of my best friends is the other way around and probably wouldn't date a guy who insists on texting instead of calling her. So... it depends
PegNosePete Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 Leaving a missed call seems a bit weak and shows lack of confidence. I would just leave a message saying I'll call again tomorrow evening (or whenever). Many women screen calls especially if it's a number they don't recognise (ie. you just got her number but she doesn't have yours yet) and so going to VM is quite common. The VM tells her who it is, and she can save your number, and hopefully answer when you call tomorrow evening. Or if she prefers to text, that's good too.
PRW Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 Most won't answer their phones even if they are sitting there looking at it when it goes off. I see it constantly when out with a group of friends. If they miss the call (which often they did on purpose) they don't even go check to see if a voicemail was left. Most get annoyed at someone who wants to call/talk and complains, "Why don't they just text me". So text. There may be some like LauraXX's friend that would rather you call but those are few and far between today. If you want to call/talk, then text and say, "Can you take a call right now?". If they say yes, then call. If the say "No, give me 30 minutes",...then wait 30 minutes and call. It's the screwed up society we are in. Everyone wants to hide themselves behind their PC keyboard or portable device. It is much harder to hide when communicating with a live voice over a phone.
clia Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 If you get a voicemail, how do you typically proceed? Leave a brief VM for them to call you back, leave VM with proposal for a date or hangout session, or leave no VM and send a text instead? It depends why you are calling. For me, if the person does not leave a voicemail, I assume it wasn't anything important and I don't feel obligated to call them back. If you are expecting a call back, leave a VM, tell her why you are calling (for example, calling to talk, calling to see what you are up to, calling to see if you want to have dinner on Friday, etc.), and tell her whether you want her to call you back. I personally don't like it when people don't tell me why they called but then expect me to call them back. I've been thinking that with girls who I connect with better on early dates, it is worth trying a call instead of a text (partly as a self-experiment and to help myself grow in the dating realm), and to further develop the connection with a girl, while getting to the point and making the 2nd/3rd/4th date, etc. Obviously I only use the phone to set dates, so I won't let it turn into any chitchat nonsense. Thoughts on voicemail messages? It's certainly worth a try. Some people hate talking on the phone, some people love it. Everyone will be different.
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