Should I insist with this girl ?

[mcidsp]

So I met this 24 year old girl (I'm 28) at work three months ago. She came to the company where I work to complete a project for three months. We were not working directly but were seeing each other around 1-3 times per week. During that time there were situations that made me thought she might like me. For instance, she approached me and tried to maintain conversations with me in multiple occasions. She asked for my phone number just after a few days of meeting each other and for my Facebook after some weeks. She also asked me for help in many times. Most of the times for small things, such as carrying her backpack for her (which used to be quite heavy) while we were leaving work, or explaining something to her.

 

The last day of her stay at our company, she asked me to help her with some of her tasks she had been assigned and had to complete by the end of the day. I accepted because it was an opportunity to be alone with her and get to know her better (it was also my last chance of spending time with her).

 

When we were done she offered me money in return, which I declined, then she offered me to invite me dinner instead. I accepted of course. After that "first date" I realized that I truly liked her. However, I didn't have the courage of asking her out that same night in person even when I knew it was the last time I was to be with her. Instead, that day after I got home I texted her how much I enjoyed that night and that if she would like to go out with me the next weekend again. She didn't see my message until the next Sunday night (almost 5 days) and didn't replied to it until two days after reading it. She excused herself saying she was very busy but that it would be OK to go to a sushi place together. I said if it was OK for her to meet on Saturday. She said that she was busy during the afternoon until 6. I said that it was OK for me (to meet at 6). Then she didn't reply. That Saturday morning I texted her asking if we were meeting that day at night. She didn't reply to me until around 7 saying she had just finished with the things she was doing. I just got to say it was late, and directly asked her if she still wanted to go out with me. She said yes (with a crying face emoji) and 10 minutes after she texted me again saying OK (with a winking face emoji). I didn't reply to any of her both messages.

 

At this point, I'm really confused about what I should do now. Should I insist with her ?

 

Few facts about the girl: highly friendly and social, but can become shy in some situations. She exhibits a childish behavior at times.

She's never had a boyfriend.

[schlumpy]

It's way, way, too early in this relationship to force anything. I get your concern that she took too long to answer which could indicate some disinterest on her part but then you hardly know anything about her. She may not be the phone-aholic that is so typical today.

 

Work hard on finding out what she enjoys. Then set up dates that involve her preferences where she will relax and reveal just who she is. It won't take long before you will be able to answer your own question.

 

Best Wishes

[Maddie82]

I don't see any romantic interest in you to be honest. She asked for your help with some work stuff but you took it as her being interested. But i don't think she was. You misconstrued her buying you a thank you dinner as a first date. It wasn't a date. The 2 emoji replies in regards to going out on the Saturday were immature and sure signs that she is not interested in you

[PRW]

I apologize for some of my sarcasm below. Don't worry about it, we have all been there. I did this exact same stuff, just as bad as what happened here, back in my 20's and 30's. I cringe when I think back on those memories, but it is what it is and you just have to learn from it.

 

She asked for my phone number just after a few days of meeting each other and for my Facebook after some weeks.

It is called Beta Bait. Spot a guy that looks passive, innocent, inexperienced, and easy. Give him just enough to make him think you want him, and he'll do anything you want.

 

She also asked me for help in many times. Most of the times for small things, such as carrying her backpack for her (which used to be quite heavy) while we were leaving work, or explaining something to her.

She needed a Beta Assistant, and found you.

 

When we were done she offered me money in return

WOW! She was blatant here! She was shoving it directly in your face what this really was,...and that is what it was,...a transaction.

 

which I declined, then she offered me to invite me dinner instead.

That was only her backup method when you refused the money.

 

I accepted of course. After that "first date"

First date? There is no way in the world that was a "date".

 

I texted her how much I enjoyed that night and that if she would like to go out with me the next weekend again. She didn't see my message until the next Sunday night (almost 5 days)

Suuurrre she didn't. Girls always go 5 days without picking up their phones and checking them. Interesting that 5 days (Sunday) was exactly how long it would take for it to be "too late" to get together with you for the time period you asked for.

 

She excused herself saying she was very busy but that it would be OK to go to a sushi place together.

She was busy with her BF. The non-specific sushi place at a non-specific day/time is just a redirection.

 

I said if it was OK for her to meet on Saturday. She said that she was busy during the afternoon until 6. I said that it was OK for me (to meet at 6). Then she didn't reply.

Of course she didn't.

That Saturday morning I texted her asking if we were meeting that day at night. She didn't reply to me until around 7

Of course she didn't "pop up" till after 7, again, exactly the amount of time it would take to be "too late" to meet with you at the time frame you asked for...knowing/hoping it would be too late and you'd give up.

 

I .......directly asked her if she still wanted to go out with me.

No, you directly asked her about the "idea" or "concept" of the possibility of "going out" with you. You did not directly ask offer her a date.

She said yes (with a crying face emoji) and 10 minutes after she texted me again saying OK (with a winking face emoji).

Yeeeaahh. Do you wanna? Yes, I wanna. But no specific day/time/place. All non-specific, so there really isn't anything to commit to beyond saying yes to the "idea" of "something".

 

Few facts about the girl: highly friendly and social,

Of course.

but can become shy in some situations. She exhibits a childish behavior at times.

It is called manipulation,...and act.

She's never had a boyfriend.

Yeeaahhh,...right!. A 24yo hot chick that knows how to get a guy's attention in a hurry, and get him to be her servant without blinking, ........has never had a boyfriend in her life.

[kendahke]

No. Insist on what? Do you think you're owed something because you like her? Doesn't work that way, s0n.

[smackie9]

A simple rule of thumb: There is no such thing as "too busy" if they really like you.

 

 

PWR is right on the money with this girl.

[smackie9]

true story: years ago some hot blonde chick started at my company. She latched onto a beta guy in another dept. She buttered him up so good, he always lent his car to her, or drover her around, was at her beck and call. Everyone told him he was being play for a fool, that she was a user/manipulator. He defended her relentlessly, he would not hear any of it. She eventually got fired, and never talked to him again....he moped around for like a month after that all heart broken.

[Flame Aura]

Carrying her backpack because it's too heavy? LOL

 

 

Sorry I just found that hilarious.

 

 

This girl knows exactly what to do to get whatever she wants from you. Met plenty of them in my 20s.

 

 

My advice: She's not romantically interested in you, stop contacting her.

[d0nnivain]

No you should not insist. She's playing you. Now that she doesn't need you any more she has no time for you. Leave her be.

[elaine567]

"Insist" or "persist" perhaps?

 

Insist =

demand something forcefully, not accepting refusal.

 

Persist =

continue in an opinion or course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.

[schlumpy]

true story: years ago some hot blonde chick started at my company. She latched onto a beta guy in another dept. She buttered him up so good, he always lent his car to her, or drover her around, was at her beck and call. Everyone told him he was being play for a fool, that she was a user/manipulator. He defended her relentlessly, he would not hear any of it. She eventually got fired, and never talked to him again....he moped around for like a month after that all heart broken.

 

A lesson in personal growth. One would hope that he only had to learn that lesson one time.

[preraph]

Some guys never learn, like one of my exes. These manipulators as part of their game make guys feel like heroes. If they run into resistance (women see right tgrough them), they will just double down with flattery and tears.