JohnSmith111 Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 I've been broken up with my ex girlfriend now for 6 months and we were together for about 3 years. We never had any significant issues in our relationship (Cheating, lying, abuse etc) but mainly got it into petty arguments over personality differences. We had a petty argument back in January that led to a no contact situation for 3 1/2months. I then eventually went to see her too work things out, we talked for a few hours and she told me that she just doesn't see us working out. Since then we've only communicated via text mostly and she's said 3 times via text and phone that she's just not sure that she is ready to meet up with me anytime soon. I asked to take her out for her 30th birthday 2 weeks ago and she said she thinks texting from time to time is cool, and despite that we've been broken up for 6 months now, she still loves me and probably always will and that she is in a really happy place right now and has to set boundaries for herself. She also said that she previously told me that we could never be friends. She said via text twice that she still loves me and she always will but she also continues to remain super cordial, very professional, very distant and appears to have confidently moved on although she just won't come out and say it. She also claimed to NOT be seeing anyone new or dating anyone and she has never specifically said that she has moved on or that she's done. She never contacts me and only responds back somewhat quickly & cordially whenever I reach out to her and just keeps the conversation on general things like work and stuff but never gets into personal territory as well as she has refused to meet up with me a couple of times. I'm out of options on how to win her back and really need help. She is the woman that I want to marry and feel like I've really lost my soulmate. Am I wasting my time?
Marc878 Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 You are chasing. Guess what? That always pushes them farther away. She's telling you it's over by her lack of actions. Believe her. There is no one and only. There are others who could fit that bill. Right now you love her so you think she has to feel the same. She doesn't. You are just projecting your feelings onto her. You need to wake up to reality. Stop the contact you are just lowering your status doing that. It's unnattractive 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 (edited) Yes, you are without a doubt wasting your time. It couldn't be clearer that she doesn't want to meet up with you and that she is done. You're just not listening. She is not interested. Stop trying to force it. You can't "win" someone back when they genuinely don't want to be with you anymore, man. Respect that boundary and leave her be now. Edited July 11, 2019 by ExpatInItaly
Reading_Josh Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 I think it's time for some harsh truths - the clear message here is no, I don't want to get back with you. You have to respect her and let her do her own thing. I think the key is that you work on yourself here. Focus on getting yourself out socialising, doing different events, keeping your mind busy and focused on hobbies or work. As long as you are carrying this burden of the past relationship you will not be opening up doors for anyone else, so you’re isolating yourself as well as pushing her away as a friend. Work on yourself, do what makes you feel happy and then you'll notice you become a magnet for all things good. Soulmates is a very flippant term, there is more than one soulmate out there for us. We just need to make sure we're in the right place and right mind-set to find them. All the best.
MINAKO Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 she's said 3 times via text and phone that she's just not sure that she is ready to meet up with me anytime soon. I asked to take her out for her 30th birthday 2 weeks ago and she said she thinks texting from time to time is cool, and despite that we've been broken up for 6 months now, she still loves me and probably always will and that she is in a really happy place right now and has to set boundaries for herself. She also said that she previously told me that we could never be friends. She said via text twice that she still loves me and she always will but she also continues to remain super cordial, very professional, very distant and appears to have confidently moved on although she just won't come out and say it. She also claimed to NOT be seeing anyone new or dating anyone and she has never specifically said that she has moved on or that she's done. She never contacts me and only responds back somewhat quickly & cordially whenever I reach out to her and just keeps the conversation on general things like work and stuff but never gets into personal territory as well as she has refused to meet up with me a couple of times. I'm out of options on how to win her back and really need help. She is the woman that I want to marry and feel like I've really lost my soulmate. Am I wasting my time? I really agree with what everyone has said. It is difficult to accept, but very obvious to us since we are not the one involve and are judging objectively, that she is no longer interested. My own suggestion would be to leave her alone, and contact her extremely rarely, because as Marc878 said, chasing someone is not exactly attractive and pushes people away (not always, but for example I am aware it pushes me away). This is because often times it comes off as desperate, which is a huge turn off. If contacting her very rarely (showing a lack of interest) does not make her end up chasing you, then I would say there is no chance. Try to not be too hard on yourself, try to remember you guys have gone no-contact before - there were problems previously, even if they were little, they were big enough to stop talking altogether. And again as everyone has mention, there is always more than one soulmate. She is not the only one for you - even if it hard to believe right now. I know this is difficult to take in, but the truth always end up helping in the end rather to carry on in some delusion. And you know, if she does not love you, then why bother? A real soulmate is someone who also loves you the same, just as much. Again, I understand it can be so painful. However, ultimately, it will be fine. One day at a time.
Maddie82 Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 Let it go. It's done. You are wasting your time. She very clearly doesn't want to get back with you. I highly recommend to stop contacting her and stop acting so obsessive about this. Move on.
fj1978 Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 Sorry but like others have said you are wasting your time. She is only replying to your messages to be nice. Time to delete her number and move on.
loversquarrel Posted July 11, 2019 Posted July 11, 2019 You are fast reaching creep territory. I mean really, does she need to crack you over the head with a bat to get you to stop? If you are reading about how to get your ex back you should stop. If she wanted to be with you she would. It's that simple. 1
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