ericw899 Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 There is this girl in my class at school, & she is really interested in me. All signs are obvious. She always stands next to me, wants to partner up for activities, always seeks me out & even kept me after class just talking for almost 30 minutes. We have hung out at a few events outside of school that she participates in & we do have really great conversation & everything. My dilemma is I just don’t know if I feel attracted to her in that way. She is acute girl but I just don’t see myself with her. Like I could totally see us hanging as friends I just can’t imagine being physical with her in any capacity. I feel really guilty about it because she is so sweet & I don’t think she gets many guys chasing her. So what I want to know is should I just maintain a friendship with her or should I try setting up a date even though I don’t feel it? Also keep in mind I hardly ever get girls interested in me so it’s not like I’m some jerk with 10 more on the hook
Marc878 Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 If you have no interest don't pursue. You'll just set her and you up for failure. No one needs that 3
spiderowl Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 If you have no interest don't pursue. You'll just set her and you up for failure. No one needs that I feel the above is true, do not lead her on if you are not interested in that way. One thing to consider though is how would you feel if another guy suddenly showed interest in her and she was interested in him? Sometimes we take people for granted when they seem easily available. If you have no problem with that, then just make it clear you are friends and take care not to lead her on. 1
Whodatdog Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 Keep it honest. Youve stated you really have no interest in her other than friends. If you feel she's really smitten with you, maybe back away for a while. It isnt fair to her to think she has a chance with you when she doesnt. Be honest and kind. It will never fail you. 1
Versacehottie Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 I agree with Marc and Spider. The moment and opportunity for you to feel genuine interest in her has probably passed TBH. From what you said though, the only thing I would keep in mind is that you said that you don't often get people interested in you. While that in itself is not a good enough reason to pursue this one, maybe next time as you meet someone you might keep in mind that it's possible that you are looking to validate yourself through whoever you partner with--thus seeking a partner with the perception that is much better than yourself or not so available as this one. I think even if you were able to land such a person, you might be disappointed inside while still holding onto them from the outside, as in staying a couple with someone who doesn't deserve you. So for next time try to see the person in total. I get it though that it's hard to feel attraction when she barely allows you a bit of time and space to find it with her. Essentially, there is always a bit of seeking validation from what your partner looks like and how she ranks with her ability to get other guys besides you but try to be just a little more open minded next time or at least aware of what is possibly going on with just you so that you don't pass up a good person. Good luck & yeah don't string her along.
preraph Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 No, don't ask her out out of pity. You'll just get her more invested and she'll end up heartbroken. I wouldn't really encourage her as a friend either and let her orbit and make it look like you're a couple. Just tell her no, thank you on these various invitations. She'll get the idea.
alphamale Posted July 10, 2019 Posted July 10, 2019 take her out and fool around with her, it'll give you some real world experience that you'll need down the road
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