I disclosed my GHSV1 for the first time and got rejected. Is my love life over?

[Beendaredonedat]

There is an option to keep photos private that can be shared with anyone who is interested past her diagnosis. If a neighbor or anyone else still wants to meet up then they either don't care if she has herpes or they have it themselves so I don't see why its a "No, we can't do this" situation.

 

There are plenty of profiles out there disclosing their sexual health status. It helps to weed out those that won't want to take the chance and it makes it much more fair on those that would not want to waste their time when they know they won't go forth. No point getting to know one's personality if having herpes is going to be a deal breaker.

Edited July 12, 2019 by Beendaredonedat

[Gaeta]

There is an option to keep photos private that can be shared with anyone who is interested past her diagnosis. If a neighbor or anyone else still wants to meet up then they either don't care if she has herpes or they have it themselves so I don't see why its a "No, we can't do this" situation.

 

There are plenty of profiles out there disclosing their sexual health status. It helps to weed out those that won't want to take the chance and it makes it much more fair on those that would not want to waste their time when they know they won't go forth. No point getting to know one's personality if having herpes is going to be a deal breaker.

 

 

I know you think this is just logic but as someone who's living with it, has dated with it, I tried every scenarios and disclosing on a 2nd or 3rd date is best.

 

Once I met a man over coffee for the first time. About 30 mins into our meeting he started telling me one of his online dating horror stories. His story was about meeting a woman and on their 3rd date she disclosed she was carrying hsv2. I listened to him telling me how he rejected her right away and no freakin way he's going to date someone carrying an std. I looked at him with a big smile, finding it very ironic, and said to him well it's not your lucky day because I carry the same virus as this lady, I now know how you feel about it so I thank you for the coffee and good luck with everything. At first he thought I was pulling his leg, when he realized I was serious he asked me to stay and to tell him more about it. We ended up dating for a few months (with excellent sex). Yes it does make a difference having the person in front of you. This man felt attracted enough *during our meeting* to keep an open mind.

[Beendaredonedat]

Thanks for sharing but If it were me, I would want it out there right away rather than date and have sex with someone that has his mind set about herpes.

 

At least he was up front about his experience and gave you a chance to disclose immediately. A lot wouldn't be telling such stories. To become involved only to be told of the fact after wouldn't be fair to do to someone, IMO.

 

Anyway: Op isn't having any luck in the way she has been disclosing so I was offering an alternative.

 

Cheers!

[gaius]

A lot of useful information in your posts Gaeta. It's nice when someone who knows what they're talking about chimes in on threads like this.

[anika99]

I deal with both oral and genital hsv1. Like others I believed that since I had a few cold sores as a child that I didn't have to worry about genital hsv1. When I started dating a guy with oral hsv1 I wasn't at all worried. We used condoms but I did accept oral sex from him. Approximately 12 days later I had a genital outbreak. I ran to have myself tested and was shocked that it was hsv1 as I already had that orally. At the clinic they told me that while it's not super common it happens far more frequently than people realize.

 

After being diagnosed I spent some time crying and feeling sorry for myself and then I got as educated as I could. Gaeta knows what she's talking about. I agree with everything she has said in this thread.