Is this a lie that breaks the camels back?

[truthorlies]

Suffice it to say that my bf has lied to me in the past about his money issues. He has been more transparent lately since he knows I won't live with him otherwise. Today I asked him if he is paying all of his bills on time and he said "yes and I am paying on time to avoid any additional interest and penalties".

 

I found out (not through him) that he paid his rent late. it's due between the 1st and 5th and after that it accrues a late penalty of 5% (which is about $70) - he paid it yesterday b/c I believe he didn't have the money to pay it in full until then.

 

Is this a "Killer" lie? Should I just break it off after being with him 5 years?

[smackie9]

Are you living with him? If you are not, if he's late on his rent and it doesn't affect you financially, then you can't tell him jack and in a way it's none of your business.

If he can't get his crap together, then why are you still with him?

Stop micro managing him...and he won't lie about it.

Edited July 10, 2019 by smackie9

[truthorlies]

isn't the issue "lying"?

[Tamfana]

It depends upon whether you want a lifetime relationship or just dating. If you want a marriage, family or LTR do you want that with someone who lies to you? I personally wouldn't. Lying is way too much drama and trouble to deal with for a lifetime.

[smackie9]

lying is a symptom of a deeper issue...some people lie just to have the nagging stop.

 

 

My husband was bad with money...when he moved in with me I took over everything. I paid the bills, organized the mortgage payments, etc. All he had to do is pay me a monthly flat rate that worked with his pay schedule. I still do it today, 29 years later. Now he has money put away for retirement, only pays with cash, and doesn't have credit card debt. sometimes they actually do grow up.....just need a helping hand.

Edited July 10, 2019 by smackie9

[schlumpy]

Today I asked him if he is paying all of his bills on time and he said "yes and I am paying on time to avoid any additional interest and penalties".

 

I found out (not through him) that he paid his rent late. it's due between the 1st and 5th and after that it accrues a late penalty of 5% (which is about $70) - he paid it yesterday b/c I believe he didn't have the money to pay it in full until then.

 

Is this a "Killer" lie? Should I just break it off after being with him 5 years?

 

I do understand how you feel. I also have a nagging need to keep my financial affairs in order. I am fortunate that my wife does not want to immerse herself in that area of our marriage so I have free rein to pay all my bills on time which keeps me smiling.

 

Your boyfriend\companion\partner is less bothered by these things. It could be that despite your threats and his best efforts he is going to slip up now and then.

 

Maybe you want to back pedal some and not make your demands so stringent. You should examine your feelings, measure the quality of your relationship and decide if this is the hill you wish to die on.

 

 

Best Wishes

[truthorlies]

he ran out of money to pay it on time and there's no reason for that if he budgets himself right...it's a problem he runs into from time to time. He brings in $4K a month net and his rent is only $1300.

[olivetree]

I am wondering why you create a new username every time you start a new thread?

You'd get much better feedback if you let other ppl see the totality of your situation.

 

Your daughter hates your bf.

He went to prison before for money related stuff.

He lies.

You don't trust him.

 

Each time you ask if it should be a dealbreaker.

YES.

There are so many red flags staring you in the face.

[kendahke]

Apparently, the lie would have to have the mass of R136a1 before it will be enough to make you leave him. Since you're not going to leave him, just forgive him every time he lies.

Edited July 10, 2019 by kendahke