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Posted

Hi,

 

I was in a 3 1/2 yr relationship with a woman 15 yrs younger than me. We had an overall wonderful relationship for 3 yrs, lived together for the past 18 months and were always planning for the future together. About four months ago she came to me and said that she was depressed, had experienced some dark thoughts and that she was also confused about a lot of things mostly having to do with finding a career and her best path in life. She told me she thought the best thing to do was for her to move out. I have always believed that you can't force a relationship so I told her that I loved her and she should do what she felt was best for her. The old "let them free and if they come back..." philosophy.

 

We lived together for another six weeks before she moved out and during that time, we continued to basically live our lives as usual and went on dates, etc. I asked her several times what her moving out meant for us and if she wanted to break up, and her reply every time was she didn't know and was more focused on herself. She moved out six weeks ago and we've had minimal communication during that time except about her picking up some more of her stuff from the house or her picking up our dog for a few days. She basically took all her clothes but left all of her furniture and more clothes.

 

I miss her but think it is time for me to move on with my life. The furniture reminds me of her and serves as a hope she'll come back and also holds me back from moving on. I think I should ask her when she plans to move her remaining things out?

 

I wonder if she is just being lazy, which she can be or if she is keeping one foot in the door? While our relationship had some issues that needed work, it really was pretty good overall.

 

So, should I ask her to move her things out? Her things are really only in two rooms of the house so they are not bothering me and I don't need the space so the alternative is to let her move at her own pace.

 

Any thoughts would be great.

Posted

You should definitely tell her to move her stuff out. She has already told you she is focusing on herself. It's time you started focusing on yourself too.

  • Like 1
Posted

Don't ask her. Give her a deadline in writing sent to her certified mail or FedEx or some other way you get a receipt. Tell her she has 30 days to get her stuff out or you will throw it out / sell it. If you sell it, you have to give her the $$

  • Like 1
Posted

If her stuff has been there for more than 45 days I believe you can sell it do a yard sale and sell it all

 

And keep the money to recover your losses on abandoned property

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