Is a boyfriend who is broke non-dateable?

[Goingforbroke]

If your bf of several years barely makes ends meet even though he earns a decent (albeit not much) salary is he non-dateable despite your affection for each other? He has minimal savings.

 

Even if you don't live together, at some point aren't you likely to resent him and can his financial difficulties eventually impact you?

 

This is especially true if you are fairly well off and you have earned all of your money the hard way (working hard and saving) but not so much as to being able to "provide" for him in the years to come?

 

You are both older (past middle age).

[lennyor]

I was with a guy that had very little in the way of finances. I provided everything and never resented him.

It was how he treated me that made me resent him not the finances.

[PRW]

Un-dateble? No, you can about date anything.

Un-marryable? Probably

[Sunlight72]

It's a personal comfort & priority level. It would work for some people, and not for others.

 

If he treats you nicely and your life together is more fun and meaningful than it is single, that's a good thing. If you only feel like you're being wooed if the guy pays for everything, and you like to travel a few times a year, and eat out 2 or 4 times a week, and have a gift of jewelry or sports equipment each month, it's not going to work unless he's got a higher income.

 

Do you value time together more? Or being treated more?

 

Of course you can have both, but it will be harder to find. In my experience, people with money don't have as much time for personal connection, and people who value personal connection enough to leave time in their daily life to connect don't usually have as much money. ...and... it's not just one or the other, it is a relative sliding gauge. Just try to stay withing the zone of the money/time ratio you enjoy. You can probably be happy in a wide swath of the zone. Figure out your personal limit to the ends of the zone.

Edited July 9, 2019 by Sunlight72

[PRW]

Of course you can have both, but it will be harder to find. In my experience, people with money don't have as much time for personal connection, and people who value personal connection enough to leave time in their daily life to connect don't usually have as much money.

That is very well stated. That is exactly what I see on a daily basis.

[Lotsgoingon]

If you're asking this question, then the answer for you sounds like "yes," this will be a problem.

 

But lots of folks are comfortable with people who don't earn as much money. The other aspects of the person outweigh their money issues.

 

I think you've asked this question before. So, what do YOU think?