DatingDancer Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Hi all I have a boyfriend of 18 months, things are wonderful and we have just moved in together. We were LDR but now things are great and we are in the same town and he has a job and we have a new flat. His ex F-buddy has been stressing me out and I should ignore it but I'm so wound up by it. She left him to get with in her words 'the love of her life'. I think he was more into her than the other way round but he's attractive and confident so he picked himself up and some months after we met. When she found out he was dating me that's when suddenly she starts messaging him things like 'I love my new bf but he just doesn't turn me on like you do' and 'are you doing things with her that we used to do'. He ignored her until she eventually sent him a load of messages about how he obviously doesn't care and vanished. Great!! Fast forward a few months and she starts following him on Instagram. Her and her love have broken up and she's fishing. He doesn't follow her back. She unlikes his pictures and unfollows him. She then meets love no2 within weeks of the last breakup. Yayyy! They are together 3 months when suddenly she starts following my BF, liking and commenting on his pictures for two months, watching all his stories and finally realises he won't respond so off she goes again for two months. Then in the new year she comes back. Things still seem wonderful with her man no2 but now she's watching my stories and all over my page too, not just my boyfriends. We leave it hoping she will go away but she doesn't so after a month we both block her. The next day a fake account with no followers, no profile picture starts watching both our stories and is always there within moments of us posting. Even more alarming, she starts visiting small holiday places we've been too which are WELL off the beaten track. I am worried about blocking the fake account as I'll always be stressed and analysing every new account I see - she'll find a way so what's the point, we both have to have public profiles for work - I am a dancer and that is how I take most of my bookings so I can't go private. She has the message, we don't want her looking so now it's just creeping and I guess it's harmless. I really wish it didn't bug me so much But I don't understand why. She seems SO happy now. It's been almost a year with this new guy and last I looked she's always saying how happy she is and how great he is. I don't make a habit of checking as I don't care, but I have taken the odd glance when I'm frustrated. I shouldn't though as it feels sneaky. The truth is it's ridiculous and I shouldn't care at all, I just do. I was hoping this little rant might get it off my chest. My partner is annoyed by it and that annoys me most of all. We're used to ignoring it now but five months later the fake account is still there. Now even looking at all my friends stories more recently. Sigh
smackie9 Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Close down your social media for a few months...and find other things to do with your time...take up a sport or something. 1
Author DatingDancer Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 I'd love to, but it literally IS my business. And my business IS a sport. I dance, all day every day, I'm so lucky that my real passion is my earnings - I teach in the day and I perform at night and I take all my bookings online as I don't use a manager and run my own school. I have thousands of followers. I have stopped posting anything personal though and my boyfriend posts far less. It's just sad, I guess I don't want to have to not post the things that make me happy too
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 I have an ex-friend that was exactly like this woman. My friend would spy on her ex daily even if she was in a new happy relationship. She had kept a double of his house key and would even visit his house when he wasn't there, she managed to have his online banking info and would follow his credit card spending, when he got a new girlfriend she would dig everything about her. My friend was mentally sick and so is this woman watching your every move. Block one account she'll create a new one. There is not much you can do with her following your moves online. Remind yourself she does that because she's miserable and she's sick. If at one point she had your bf's home key I would suggest he change his locks, and that he changes all of his passwords. Don't keep yourself from living your life because of her. Ignore her and live your life to the fullest. .
kendahke Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 I'd love to, but it literally IS my business. And my business IS a sport. I dance, all day every day, I'm so lucky that my real passion is my earnings - I teach in the day and I perform at night and I take all my bookings online as I don't use a manager and run my own school. I have thousands of followers. I have stopped posting anything personal though and my boyfriend posts far less. It's just sad, I guess I don't want to have to not post the things that make me happy too instagram has a really well working block feature written in. Any reason why you can't use it? With my account, I've got it where you have to get my OK to follow me and only people I know IRL get in. I never allow randoms to follow me. I'm not getting why you feel your only recourse is to sit back and take it while she's running roughshod over your IG account? Make a separate one for your personal stuff (which you should do anyway) and make sure it's so locked down, people will faint from the amount of work they'll have to do to find it. 1
smackie9 Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 I agree...you should keep your personal life completely separate from your professional life.
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