toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 (edited) I know this guy for a long time from Twitter but we never met in person. He asked me out to go explore a town in the mountains so we went yesterday. We picked a place with a very nice view and had lunch with open wine. We talked a lot and we laughed. After lunch, we went to grab ice cream and we picked a roof to sit and see the sunset. On the roof, we shared a very passionate kiss. It was very romantic and genuine one. After that, we went to another place and had coffee and we called the day off at night. Sadly, he told me yesterday he is travelling for work to a very close country and while we were kissing he asked me if i can visit him next month in his new city? I am not sure if he was caught by the moment or he was serious. Anyway when we came back, i texted him that i arrived safe and i loved our kiss today, he said he loved it too and he wishes he will stay for more time. I asked him if he wants to meet again, he said he will try to meet in those 2 days before travelling and if he couldn't that for me to go to his city next month. I liked this guy and i felt like he is a decent guy but I am not sure if he is serious about his request. Do you think i should see if he will do the effort and meet me before traveling before making a decision to travel to his new city? PS: we are from the same area but he is traveling for work. Edited September 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
basil67 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Sounds like something akin to a holiday romance. Lovely connection, but not going to go anywhere serious. Don't expect anything serious to come of this...but savour the memories. 1
Maddie82 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 He sounds serious to me. I couldn't see anything in your post that suggests he wasn't being serious. Sounds like he likes you just as much as you like him. I'd say stop over analyzing it and just see where it takes you.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 (edited) The thing is he didn't text me yet and I dont think he will. I really thought we connected and every-time i think about the kiss my heart beats. There was something there and im sure he reciprocated what i felt but why not text me? I for sure wont travel to his city if he doesnt make much effort to keep up with me. Edited September 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 (edited) See if he makes effort to see you before he goes..... I agree with this. Although i really thought he liked me, he said by texting that usually he gets bored very fast on first dates but he really enjoyed my time with me and there was never a dull moment the whole day. But he didnt text me yet, which probably means he is not interested which is kinda weird because i thought he was. Edited September 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 What do you mean he's "travelling for work"? Is going away for a fixed period of time & will eventually return or is he relocating? If he's relocating this may not be going anywhere. If she's just traveling, go see him if it's convenient & hang on until he gets back. How long will he be gone?
stillafool Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 "Traveling". I notice lately a lot of people are going on dates with men who just happen to be traveling the next day or the next few days after the date. Is this a coincidence or just an excuse the guys are using. 1
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 What do you mean he's "travelling for work"? Is going away for a fixed period of time & will eventually return or is he relocating? If he's relocating this may not be going anywhere. If she's just traveling, go see him if it's convenient & hang on until he gets back. How long will he be gone? I may have mentioned that before but of the men in my country live and work abroad. They do date women from my country but most of it, it's an LDR. He is travelling for few months to try a new startup, he doesn't know for how long he is staying. When he asked me to come to visit, i told him why do you want me to go there. You definitely want to date a lot of other girls and meet new people, he said nah most of them don't shave and you are too cute. Again, not sure if he said that because he was caught by the moment or no but he did.
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 If it's the norm, why is it a big deal in your mind? Go visit assuming that is convenient & affordable for you.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 "Traveling". I notice lately a lot of people are going on dates with men who just happen to be traveling the next day or the next few days after the date. Is this a coincidence or just an excuse the guys are using. When i was on Bumble, my bio was "I am not a tourist guide". Because most men i matched with were foreigners coming for a short visit. I deleted OLD because it was a hassle for me and it didn't work, but most of my matches wanted something fast and casual even if they didn't admit that.
Curiousroxy86 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 I would have been turned off when he mentioned “traveling for work” and ask me to visit him “next month” If a guy doesn’t ask to see me again within a week two weeks heck atleast within the same month I would think he is not what I am looking for. I would also think he is either a) not interested enough in me b) too busy to date c) a player/married I would move on and date other men and when he want to see you again he know how to get back in contact with you 3
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 If it's the norm, why is it a big deal in your mind? Go visit assuming that is convenient & affordable for you. I would of course. But yesterday during our texting when he said u come visit and I'll try to see u before i travel, i told him i'll come visit if we see each other before traveling. His reply was i cant promise you but i will try. I understand he will busy packing and stuff and he doesnt even have a car ( he sold it) but the point is if he really liked me should he at least do his best to meet me before traveling? That's the big deal in my mind.
Maddie82 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 The thing is he didn't text me yet and I dont think he will. I really thought we connected and every-time i think about the kiss my heart beats. There was something there and im sure he reciprocated what i felt but why not text me? I for sure wont travel to his city if he doesnt make much effort to keep up with me. Why don't you text him? It works both ways. You haven't got to be the one sitting around waiting for him. You need to make the effort too.
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 but the point is if he really liked me should he at least do his best to meet me before traveling? That's the big deal in my mind. He probably had his last 2 days planned before he met you. Without a car if it will take more then 1-2 hours to fit you in, he may not have the time. It may not be a function of how much he likes you but just practicality. Sometimes like just gets in the way. It took you two forward to get off Twitter & on a real date. Go, don't go. It's up to you. I'm just not crazy about this litmus test you are giving this guy without his knowledge. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Toomany what exactly are your standards? Are you looking for something serious? Are you okay with having something serious in a LDR and dealing with traveling men? Because when I think serious relationship I don’t think traveling men fit the bill... I think the lifestyle doesn’t equate to being able to maintain a serious relationship Like what is your idea of the type of contact you want to have in a relationship? Like at minimum? Are you looking to spend quality time with a guy once a week? Once every two weeks? Multiple times a week? Two times a month? forget about the one guy. What exactly do you want? Because if you can address what you want then you can better choose guys that give you what your looking for instead of trying to get some guy to do what you want him to do lol
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 Why don't you text him? It works both ways. You haven't got to be the one sitting around waiting for him. You need to make the effort too. I just did. He is online on Insta and active on Twitter and still didnt reply. Man, why people say things they don't mean?
stillafool Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Why are you in such a hurry? You just had the date yesterday. Stop looking at his social media and relax. Even if he doesn't get in back in touch there are plenty more men out there.
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 Why are you in such a hurry? You just had the date yesterday. Stop looking at his social media and relax. Even if he doesn't get in back in touch there are plenty more men out there. A lot, but none of them is working:P but i agree with you.
chillii Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Sounds like you've messaged him a few times now so anymore is just gonna be too chasey. Hasn't been long , give it a few days , a week, see if you hear from him. l know, ouch !
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 I texted him and we had a small closure lol. I told him i hope what happened yesterday doesnt ruin our Twitter friendship and that i feel he doesnt want to be involved with anyone in the time being. He said nothing was ruined and in the contrary he had amazing time yesterday, but he doesnt think about anything more than today, whether we meet or not again that he is glad he met me. So i told him, I'm on the opposite of you, when i get connected to someone i think about the future and if it will work or no and i respect his honesty. He said to learn from what happened from this and understand that i can feel for someone again with "others" and to lock this dryness that i am having towards guys, i told him this is already locked before you so he was like "great then". I was right he is not that interested and he just wanted to enjoy yesterday. Thats why i am starting to reconsider dating and just stop doing it for now. 1
chillii Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Sorry to hear that but nope , he's def' not interested then . At least you know one way or other now.
smackie9 Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 He's right learn from this experience....the first thing that should be brought up is "So do you travel for work?" make it your deal breaker. 1
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 (edited) Lol i almost forgot about this amazing date i had 2 months ago, i let it go. However, this guy came back to my hometown i believe 1 week ago and since then he is commenting on my insta stories and tweets, i didnt give it any importance until he commented on a story of mine and i replied and he immediately asked me if i would like to go with him to a wedding this weekend and spend the day together. I wanted to say no at first because I'm not sure why he is asking me to be his plus one to a wedding. He also asked me to plan something else before the wedding ( lunch or roadtrip), i was also confused by his request. Is it the right thing to do to go with him to this wedding, he didnt do anything wrong but he simply left the country after an amazing date and he didnt keep in touch with me when he left. Edited September 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Maddie82 Posted September 11, 2019 Posted September 11, 2019 It's a tough one. He more or less blew you off before he went away and told you to learn from it for future guys. Now he wants to take you to a wedding and have a road trip etc. Personally i wouldn't go. Things will obviously happen but he'll likely just blow you off again after. 1
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted September 11, 2019 Author Posted September 11, 2019 (edited) @Maddie82... What he meant back then was that he thought i am locked emotionally or emotionally unavailable and since i felt connection with him to learn from that and try to connect with other men. I dont say he blew off, but he simply was going abroad for work and he didnt want to make any further promises. If i went with him, it doesnt mean its a relationship by default, although i really liked him on our first date and felt a connection that i hadnt felt in a while to anyone but i'm mature enough to set boundaries and to talk maturely about it during our date maybe? Maybe he is back for good here and perhaps we can properly date this time? I am really not sure! Edited September 11, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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