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I'm dating a girl who is nearly perfect but...

AceTheBrain22

By AceTheBrain22
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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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I plan to be in very good shape forever, until I die

 

Sure, dude.

 

Life always goes according to plan.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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This is so hilariously ironic.

 

I'm not asking for anything I can't offer myself. I'm good looking and in great shape myself

 

 

the difference is female gym rats want insanely good looking men, like male model types. You can't even get a decent looking girl on a dating site unless you look like a male model

 

 

Keep in mind I'm looking for women around 21-30 with no kids, educated and decent job, classy and smart, cute face and great body. Women like that want a 10/10 male, not a mere 7/10 like me

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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It's a problem between you and yourself, OP.

 

You seem to have severe controlling issues and unrealistic expectations of your girlfriend.

 

She sounds insecure and you seem to be taking full advantage of that; she, not you, needs support dealing with her body image issues.

 

 

unrealistic expectations for her to work out 3-4 times a week for an hour to maximize her appearance, all around health and aging long term? How much time do we spend per week doing complete nonsense?

 

 

 

I should mention in the last couple weeks, I'm seeing some very good signs. I'm going on vacation for 2 weeks in my home country with her and she said she will go 3-4 times a week without me being here. She used to cancel our workouts but she stopped doing that. Last couple weeks, everytime she said she would make it, she has come with me

 

 

Yesterday, she took a picture and she was amazed how good her butt looked compared to before working out. I think she is finally starting to notice the results and maybe that's encouraging her to enjoy the process more?

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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I'm not asking for anything I can't offer myself. I'm good looking and in great shape myself

 

the difference is female gym rats want insanely good looking men, like male model types. You can't even get a decent looking girl on a dating site unless you look like a male model

 

Your looks aren't the reason you strike out so hard with women at the gym.

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SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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My girl is very attractive now. She will continue to workout and she will look perfect in 6 months to a year

 

 

my concerns are not about now or next 5 to 10 years. They are about 10-20 years down the line. I'm not going to be okay if she decides to have kids and become overweight permanently. I plan to be in very good shape forever, until I die

 

She’s suppose to look perfect in your eyes NOW!!!!!! She might not want to continue working out for the next year and she has every right to.

You know what!? In 15 years, she might have cancer, lose her hair, lose a good amount of weight and look sick? Will you still love her then? Will you be able to live with her sick looks? She might not age like her mom, will you be okay with it? She might have postpartum depression and gain weight and let herself go, will you leave her then? You have no freakin idea what the future holds, but if you love her only for what she « will » become or « could » become, that’s a pretty sad relationship. That girl deserves better.

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Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

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Don't feed the troll people.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Your looks aren't the reason you strike out so hard with women at the gym.

 

I haven't tried asking out any women at my gym. It's just too hard because they all wear headphones and I'm not trying to make anybody feel awkward. I'm not trying to disturb anybody in the middle of a workout. I don't want to do that

 

 

I've tried a couple times at the bar with gym rat types and they wanted nothing to do with me. I don't say anything weird - I don't give strange compliments, I never talk about myself, I don't say anything sexual. I don't care about sex - I want wife material - I just talk about normal subjects they enjoy talking about.

 

 

online was even worse - but I think that might be because I'm just not very photogenic. I'm probably like a 7.5 in real life but maybe a 6/10 in pictures.

 

 

this isn't even talking that if I meet a gym rat who likes me, what are the odds she has the same personality type as my girl? I'm not willing to compromise on anything. She can't have kids, she has to be very intelligent, classy, feminine, super sweet, etc... etc... etc...

littleblackheart Established Member

littleblackheart

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unrealistic expectations for her to work out 3-4 times a week for an hour to maximize her appearance, all around health and aging long term? How much time do we spend per week doing complete nonsense

 

1. It should be her call entirely

2. Yes, you have unrealistic expectations re her body post kids.

 

She's a body insecure 21yo young woman in a relationship with a control freak. She, not you, needs help.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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She’s suppose to look perfect in your eyes NOW!!!!!! She might not want to continue working out for the next year and she has every right to.

You know what!? In 15 years, she might have cancer, lose her hair, lose a good amount of weight and look sick? Will you still love her then? Will you be able to live with her sick looks? She might not age like her mom, will you be okay with it? She might have postpartum depression and gain weight and let herself go, will you leave her then? You have no freakin idea what the future holds, but if you love her only for what she « will » become or « could » become, that’s a pretty sad relationship. That girl deserves better.

 

 

I am very attracted to her now and I will only be more attracted to her more and more as time goes on

 

 

why would she not age like her beautiful mom? Her mom doesn't workout and doesn't know half the information I know on things like skin care and aging.

SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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Don't feed the troll people.

 

Thanks for reminding me! I felt myself getting really pissed, and realized that this guy doesn’t deserve me getting riled up for him! Surely hope his life will be as perfect as he wants it to be and he’ll get everything he thinks he deserves

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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1. It should be her call entirely

2. Yes, you have unrealistic expectations re her body post kids.

 

She's a body insecure 21yo young woman in a relationship with a control freak. She, not you, needs help.

 

 

just a heads up, she asked me to train her when we started dating. She hates her body. I've been trying to compliment her on the huge strides she has made in the months we have been dating

 

 

I can't figure out why I can't seem to entirely ignite that flame for her.

SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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I am very attracted to her now and I will only be more attracted to her more and more as time goes on

 

 

why would she not age like her beautiful mom? Her mom doesn't workout and doesn't know half the information I know on things like skin care and aging.

 

Whatever! Like I said, keep doing whatever you’re doing. Hope that life will smack you in the face!

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Thanks for reminding me! I felt myself getting really pissed, and realized that this guy doesn’t deserve me getting riled up for him! Surely hope his life will be as perfect as he wants it to be and he’ll get everything he thinks he deserves

 

here ya go - she looked at this picture yesterday and was amazed how much better she looks vs a few months ago. I'm hoping this will start igniting the flame (of the love of fitness). Do you guys see what I mean when I say she has the best body genetics on the planet? It just makes me sad thinking that this will get wasted long term

 

 

https://i.postimg.cc/mDXbBhWY/Full-Size-R007.jpg

CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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I'm sure most women don't want to be overweight when they have a husband who looks perfect

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

And even if not! :cool:

nospam99 Established Member

nospam99

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Good luck with that.

 

Referring to six pack forever - I guess you'd be surprised. (Not that I have one at the moment) Takes work and dedication but definitely achievable. All a man needs is the right 'motivation'. Nothing motivates as well as a female partner who is similarly dedicated.

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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It's not your job to work out with her, and it's really not good to work out with someone that you want to improve.

 

If you have a workout buddy and you just enjoy running together or whatever, fine ... but you have an agenda beyond just working out. You want her to change her body. That doesn't work. That puts you in a parent or coach position, and that doesn't work for a relationship between two equals.

 

I mean, you want her to follow you around on your job and inspire you to do better work at your job?

 

It's also not a good sign that she "hates" her body. You're interpreting her rejection of the way she looks now as a good sign. It's not. In order to get fit and eat well and live well, you really need a reservoir of self-acceptance. Hating some aspect of yourself--while on one level might sound like a good sign--it's not. The problem is you can't turn off that "hating" your own body with the flip of a switch.

 

She loses 20 pounds, can she turn off the hate then? ... hate herself less? Loses 25 pounds? ...

 

You have a lot of anxiety about aging ... this doesn't sound like the woman who can calm your anxieties. By the way, the idea that women online only like guys who look like models--that's a fiction, completely wrong. Just walk down the street and see all the guys walking with women. Very few look like models. I read about online dating success stories--again, I see very few men who look like models.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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It's not your job to work out with her, and it's really not good to work out with someone that you want to improve.

 

If you have a workout buddy and you just enjoy running together or whatever, fine ... but you have an agenda beyond just working out. You want her to change her body. That doesn't work. That puts you in a parent or coach position, and that doesn't work for a relationship between two equals.

 

I mean, you want her to follow you around on your job and inspire you to do better work at your job?

 

 

I've worked out with multiple people who didn't know much about working out and I helped them get in fantastic shape. Why would you not take advice from someone who is obviously very knowledgeable and talented in a field?

 

BTW in a few months of working out together, she has made huge strides

 

 

It's also not a good sign that she "hates" her body. You're interpreting her rejection of the way she looks now as a good sign. It's not. In order to get fit and eat well and live well, you really need a reservoir of self-acceptance. Hating some aspect of yourself--while on one level might sound like a good sign--it's not. The problem is you can't turn off that "hating" your own body with the flip of a switch.

 

 

I teach her a lot of these same concepts. I tell her that she looks great now (which she does - I just posted a picture) but always strive for better. I tell her I'm the same way - I'm very happy with my physique but I always want to get bigger, more muscular, less bodyfat, stronger and more athletic. Fitness is a journey, not a destination

 

I think I like her body more than she does.

 

 

By the way, the idea that women online only like guys who look like models--that's a fiction, completely wrong. Just walk down the street and see all the guys walking with women. Very few look like models. I read about online dating success stories--again, I see very few men who look like models.

 

 

how many of these women are 21-30, no kids, very cute face, hot and toned body, decent job, smart and well spoken, classy and feminine, from a good family, like to cook, etc... etc... etc...? I want the top 0.1% of women

 

and to be fair, I'm good looking, in great shape, make 150K+ a year, come from a great family, am huge into family values, love kids, am supremely loyal in a relationship, etc....

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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I want the top 0.1% of women

 

and to be fair, I'm good looking, in great shape, make 150K+ a year, come from a great family, am huge into family values, love kids, am supremely loyal in a relationship, etc....

 

you deserve the top 0.000000001% of women

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SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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you deserve the top 0.000000001% of women

 

Actually, I think no woman on this Earth is good enough for him.

JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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you deserve the top 0.000000001% of women

 

Totally :lmao: I think he deserves a blowup doll!

JuneL Established Member

JuneL

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If I were the girlfriend, I would worry about his getting bold when he gets older. The people would be like, why are you going out with your daddy :laugh:

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Actually, I think no woman on this Earth is good enough for him.

 

 

My girl is pretty much perfection in every way with the exception of this issue. I just hope this grows on her more and more as time goes.

SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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If I were the girlfriend, I would worry about his getting bold when he gets older. The people would be like, why are you going out with your daddy :laugh:

 

He stated on another post that he was balding at 24 years old which is why he started going to the gym and became muscular, fit and ultimately, the perfect man on this planet.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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If I were the girlfriend, I would worry about his getting bold when he gets older. The people would be like, why are you going out with your daddy :laugh:

 

 

 

I just shaved my head a few years ago and posted picture on a dating forum and many women said I looked better without hair. I have an ideal head shape for a shaved head - round head with a massive jaw/chin, thick eyebrows and darker skin tone

 

 

next time I think I will shave my head and grow a beard, probably look pretty close to this

 

 

 

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjA2ODIzODY2N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzAyMTUzNw@@._V1_.jpg

 

 

I'm not quite that muscular yet, working towards it. I'm trying to stay natural - it's very hard to get that big naturally (although I would love to)

littleblackheart Established Member

littleblackheart

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I can't figure out why I can't seem to entirely ignite that flame for her.

 

Because you can't control her thoughts and feelings.

 

You need to take a few steps back and maybe carefully re-read all the replies you receive on this 'issue' of yours.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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