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I'm dating a girl who is nearly perfect but...

AceTheBrain22

By AceTheBrain22
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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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She is

 

- 21 - never had kids, been with 2 guys in her life (I'm 30)

- smart and classy

- very mature - wants to get married in couple years and have kids soon

- super sweet

- loves me to death

- very very loyal

- comes from good family

- likes to cook and clean

- fantastic heart through and through

 

her face is very cute but she is naturally very thick and I'm terrified that she will get fat long term. I have her working out with me but she doesn't seem to really like it all that much (we've been working out for few months). Still she's making good progress and looks damn good.

 

Is this a situation where she is going to have kids and get obese forever?

 

I'm good looking and in very good shape. Will she feel pressured to lose the baby weight or will she be happy being fat? She cares lots and lots and lots of how she looks. I figure once we're living together, I can focus on eating healthy, lots of veggies and meat, etc...

 

Should I dump her and try to find a gym rat?

Edited by AceTheBrain22
d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Yes you should break up with her & date a gym rat. She deserves better then a shallow guy like you who wants a maid / baby machine who will probably dump her anyway shortly before her 40th birthday when you decide you want a younger trophy wife.

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GTR King Established Member

GTR King

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You should Love her for who she is not what she looks like...

 

You don't need to force her to go to the gym all the time, what if she has curves or a bit fat that's nothing, your being way to shallow

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alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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You should Love her for who she is not what she looks like...

 

actually you should love her for both

  • Like 1
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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If you're already struggling to maintain attraction to her, and she's not naturally inclined to work out and be interested in fitness, you are wasting your and her time.

 

It would be better for you to date someone who's already into fitness who you don't feel the need to change.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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If you're already struggling to maintain attraction to her, and she's not naturally inclined to work out and be interested in fitness, you are wasting your and her time.

 

It would be better for you to date someone who's already into fitness who you don't feel the need to change.

 

 

This is kind of a complex situation

 

 

I'm very very attracted to her and I think she will keep making progress. We work out together 3-4 times a week. I just don't think she really likes it all that much so my concern is more after kids. She will continue to workout with me (I believe) and continue to look better and better. In about 6 months to a year, she will look perfect cause she has spectacular genetics - huuuuuge butt and boobs with a very narrow waist.

 

 

I'm just worried once we have kids and a busy lifestyle, if she says screw it to the gym and allows her to get fat. I plan on being good looking with a six pack forever. I don't think she just has the internal fire to be in shape like I do

 

 

Will her seeing me be in great shape forever kinda push her and encourage her to do the same thing? I'm sure most women don't want to be overweight when they have a husband who looks perfect

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Yes you should break up with her & date a gym rat. She deserves better then a shallow guy like you who wants a maid / baby machine who will probably dump her anyway shortly before her 40th birthday when you decide you want a younger trophy wife.

 

 

In terms of the face, she will age fantastic - her mom is 46 and has perfect skin and is beautiful with no makeup. If my girl keeps working out and eating decent, she will look beautiful at 60

 

 

it's just not easy to find a gym rat. I'm pretty good looking, in very good shape and make over 150K and I still struggled miserably when I tried online dating to go after gym rats. In real life, most of them have very very high standards also

 

 

not to mention finding one with a perfect personality like my girl is very difficult

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Should I dump her and try to find a gym rat?

 

Yes. Give this woman the opportunity to find a man who will do her the great honor of loving her for the person she is, and does not pressure her, try to change her, and resent her for not being the woman he wants her to be.

  • Like 3
BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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This is kind of a complex situation

 

It’s not all that complex.

 

You are not compatible. You value different things. If you want to find true happiness, you will need to find someone who shares your interests and your values.

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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I plan on being good looking with a six pack forever.

 

Good luck with that.

 

 

I'm sure most women don't want to be overweight when they have a husband who looks perfect

 

Nobody is perfect. If you were “perfect,” those gym rats you have tried to date would be all over you...

 

My friend, you have no idea what a woman values in a relationship or in life. Physical appearance, while being one thing to consider, is most definitely not at the TOP of the list for most women...

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SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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My boyfriend is in perfect shape, goes to the gym everyday and all. I eat really healthy, but I hate working out, so I do not have a fit body. And he doesn’t care at all. He finds me hot and sexy, and tells me very often. So no, him having the perfect body isn’t a motivator for me to hit the gym. If he couldn’t handle me gaining weight (and I did since our first date, he said the extra pounds look good on me), he’d be an ex, not a boyfriend.

We do physical activities together and SOMETIMES I’ll go to the gym with him, but if I felt it was so he could control me and keep me in shape, that would be the end of our relationship, period.

 

During pregnancy, women gain weight, it’s a fact. Some lose it after, some keep a few pounds. If that’s enough for you to not be attracted by her, please leave her now. Let her find someone who will accept her for who she is.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Yes. Give this woman the opportunity to find a man who will do her the great honor of loving her for the person she is, and does not pressure her, try to change her, and resent her for not being the woman he wants her to be.

 

 

You don't understand. She cares sooooooooo much about how she looks (her face is beautiful)

 

 

Why wouldn't she want to put in the same effort to keep her body looking good long term as she does her face?

 

 

It's not like I'm dating an ugly girl who doesn't care about her looks

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Why wouldn't she want to put in the same effort to keep her body looking good long term as she does her face?

 

Because there is more to life...

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SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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Why wouldn't she want to put in the same effort to keep her body looking good long term as she does her face?

 

Because not everyone wants a perfect body. Beauty doesn’t equal a fit and tone body... some women like their body with a few extra pounds and it’s OKAY. Your idea of a perfect body might not be her idea of what she wants her OWN body to be. Period.

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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My boyfriend is in perfect shape, goes to the gym everyday and all. I eat really healthy, but I hate working out, so I do not have a fit body. And he doesn’t care at all. He finds me hot and sexy, and tells me very often. So no, him having the perfect body isn’t a motivator for me to hit the gym. If he couldn’t handle me gaining weight (and I did since our first date, he said the extra pounds look good on me), he’d be an ex, not a boyfriend.

We do physical activities together and SOMETIMES I’ll go to the gym with him, but if I felt it was so he could control me and keep me in shape, that would be the end of our relationship, period.

 

During pregnancy, women gain weight, it’s a fact. Some lose it after, some keep a few pounds. If that’s enough for you to not be attracted by her, please leave her now. Let her find someone who will accept her for who she is.

 

 

I'm curious, why do you dislike working out? There are a million benefits to the gym - it's good for your bones, muscles, heart, skin - everything and you will also look younger and live longer

 

 

Is your boyfriend going to be okay with looking 20 years younger than you when you guys are in your 50? Men already look younger than women - you get a big difference in physical fitness and it's like dating your mom

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Will her seeing me be in great shape forever kinda push her and encourage her to do the same thing? I'm sure most women don't want to be overweight when they have a husband who looks perfect

 

Probably not, no. The ego on you will turn her off before you ever get that far in this relationship.

 

Why not part ways so you can find a woman who is already in shape and motivated to work out all on her own? You want this woman to be someone she is just not, and it's not fair to her.

 

Or do you have trouble attracting women because of the over-inflated sense of superiority?

 

I say that as a 38-year-old woman who is also passionate about working out and fitness, by the way. It's my lifestyle and I know I am in pretty good shape for someone who is not a professional athlete. I have always naturally gravitated towards men who have a similar lifestyle, but you know what can't be honed in the gym? Humility. Respect. Integrity. All the PRs you hit and the protein powder you consume will not make up for being grounded and kind, bro.

  • Like 3
SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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I'm curious, why do you dislike working out? There are a million benefits to the gym - it's good for your bones, muscles, heart, skin - everything and you will also look younger and live longer

 

 

Is your boyfriend going to be okay with looking 20 years younger than you when you guys are in your 50? Men already look younger than women - you get a big difference in physical fitness and it's like dating your mom

 

My boyfriend will not have his body forever. He had surgery recently and had to stop any physical activity for 8 weeks... he gained a little weight, loved him the same. It’s a fact of life, our bodies will age. He might still be fit at 50, but in no way his body will remain like it is at 30. If she can’t love me in the body that I will have at 50, that’s a pretty big proof that he didn’t love me for me. Thankfully, he’s not as shallow as you seem to be.

I don’t like going to the gym, I don’t like running... I like a few sports that we sometimes do together, but that’s it. I know the benefits, still don’t like it. He knows it, isn’t trying to change me... Thank God

  • Like 1
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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Because not everyone wants a perfect body. Beauty doesn’t equal a fit and tone body... some women like their body with a few extra pounds and it’s OKAY. Your idea of a perfect body might not be her idea of what she wants her OWN body to be. Period.

 

 

she hates her body. She wishes she was much smaller

 

 

She wants to be very thin. I don't really want her to be thin, I like very thick women who are in shape. She has magnificent genetics - huge butt, huge thighs and big boobs with very narrow waist. She is like 38-27-43 (she is 5'10)

 

 

I should mention in the last couple weeks, I'm seeing some very good signs. I'm going on vacation for 2 weeks in my home country with her and she said she will go 3-4 times a week without me being here. She used to cancel our workouts but she stopped doing that. Last couple weeks, everytime she said she would make it, she has come with me

 

 

Yesterday, she took a picture and she was amazed how good her butt looked compared to before working out. I think she is finally starting to notice the results and maybe that's encouraging her to enjoy the process more?

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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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Probably not, no. The ego on you will turn her off before you ever get that far in this relationship.

 

she is madly, madly in love with me

 

 

Why not part ways so you can find a woman who is already in shape and motivated to work out all on her own? You want this woman to be someone she is just not, and it's not fair to her.

 

female gym rats have insane standards. Finding one who will like me will be very very difficult

 

finding one who will like me who has her personality will be nearly impossible

 

I'm not willing to compromise on anything - I want a girl who is super sweet, die hard to the bone loyal, smart, from great family, will jump off a bridge for me, feminine, classy, etc... My girl has all that.

 

We're both eastern european so we have similar values. We don't believe in divorce, family is huge, we love kids, etc...

SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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You know her freakin measurements?! How obsessed are you with her body? Do you want a girlfriend who will love you, care for you and who you can have a future with, or do you want a barbie?

 

You know what, yes it might be a motivator for her, yes she might lose the weight after having kids, and yes, she might get the perfect body and keep it for ever and ever. Keep doing exactly what you are doing, liking that girl for what she COULD EVENTUALLY BE, and not for what she is. Keep going... hope it all blows in your face !

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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female gym rats have insane standards. Finding one who will like me will be very very difficult

 

This is so hilariously ironic.

  • Like 3
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AceTheBrain22 Member

AceTheBrain22

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You know her freakin measurements?! How obsessed are you with her body? Do you want a girlfriend who will love you, care for you and who you can have a future with, or do you want a barbie?

 

 

I want everything - a beautiful woman with a hot body who will age amazing and be a wonderful mom and wife. My girl is beautiful and will age fantastic (her mom is one of the best looking natural 46 year olds you'll ever see) and my girl is perfect for non physical stuff. I just hope she will put in the effort to maintain her looks

 

 

 

You know what, yes it might be a motivator for her, yes she might lose the weight after having kids, and yes, she might get the perfect body and keep it for ever and ever. Keep doing exactly what you are doing, liking that girl for what she COULD EVENTUALLY BE, and not for what she is. Keep going... hope it all blows in your face !

 

 

My girl is very attractive now. She will continue to workout and she will look perfect in 6 months to a year

 

 

my concerns are not about now or next 5 to 10 years. They are about 10-20 years down the line. I'm not going to be okay if she decides to have kids and become overweight permanently. I plan to be in very good shape forever, until I die

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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This is so hilariously ironic.

 

Agree. Absolutely.

  • Like 1
SophieG Established Member

SophieG

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This is so hilariously ironic.

 

I know!!!! :lmao: :lmao: as if his standards weren’t sky high

littleblackheart Established Member

littleblackheart

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It's a problem between you and yourself, OP.

 

You seem to have severe controlling issues and unrealistic expectations of your girlfriend.

 

She sounds insecure and you seem to be taking full advantage of that; she, not you, needs support dealing with her body image issues.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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