lie about being pregnant?

[pendr]

This is a very long subject condensed down to the basics...:

 

Met girl...at end of week one, tried to break up, she got very upset, and we tried to make a go with giving things one more chance.

 

Week two we because physically intimate twice, once without protection (stupid!). The last time was on a Friday night. Sunday we really break up, and she is very hurt and angry at me. Tuesday she lets it slip in an e-mail that she has been sick in the mornings for the last couple of days (sick starting Monday). So, she saus that she is having morning sickness 2.5 days after the only time conception could have happened.

 

One week later (seven days exactly), she gets a test at the doctor which confirms her pregnancy. She is still angry with me for breaking up with her, and says that when she gets angry she lashes out. There are more arguments and every time I try to distance myself from her being angry at me, she says something that draws me back in: a had a miscarriage, oops it was not a miscarriage just bleeding, and since I was not talking to her and having her try and calm down she now says that she has seen pictures of the baby (this is at a little under 4 weeks).

 

There are other parts to this story which make me not believe her, but there is still a doubt in my mind that she might be telling the truth. My questions to you all are:

 

-could she have actual vomiting just 2 days after conception?

-could she have a positive pregnancy test at 7 days

-is there any sort of diagnostic device that would detect a baby at something below 4 weeks? (like 3 to 3.5 weeks) ...and if so, would a doctor normally use such a device under normal circumstances?

 

...If there is a baby, and it is mine, I would stand by the child and love and raise him/her as best I could...I just think that this woman (we are both around 30yo) might just be trying to play me because she felt hurt by my "rejecting" her after she (even after one week) became so enamored with me. She went as far as to say that I basicalyl raped her, and then took it back multiple times in e-mail (I saved and printed out those letters, to be sure). she says that when she is rejected she lashes out, and that was what happened with that rape statement. (still scary to think she might one day go to a district attorney and allege I raped her, which would at the least get me arrested and I would have to pay lawyers fees to protect myself before the DA would see those e-mails and hopefully tell her there is no case).

 

I tried to go to a doctor's appointment with her, but my schedule prevented me, and she blew up at that, which makes me doubt she had an appointment at all, since I asked her to bring back pictures of the ultrasounds, since I could not be there. That was unacceptable to her, evidently, and has chosen to not talk to me ever again (which lasts about two days then she sends me spiteful e-mails).

 

Anyone have a similar experience? advise me, please!

[lynnered]

are you really 30 years old?

ok 1st of all u need to use a condom when sleeping with people U hardly know .

"morning sickness 2.5 days after the only time conception could have happened"

not a doctor but really doubt this

Nausea/Morning Sickness:

will often show up between 2-8 weeks after conception.

Some women experience pregnancy symptoms within a week of conception.

usually from what im familur with U can get a early pregnancy test at drs this can determine if shes pregnant as early as 7to 10 days after conception.

ive not heard of ultrasound that early unless possibility of problems.

shes a nut ,smart to save emails ,tell her to stay away or U will get a restraining order .

and in the future wear a condom &be more selective as far as who U date & have sex with good luck

[magda]

You do not get morning sickness until about a month after conception. That she claimed to be sick after 2 and a half days is laughable. She is also very unlikely to get a positive pregnancy test after just 7 days. But the doctor might... if they'd even see someone before even missing a period.

 

I think she's full of it, and I think you have every right to question every thing she tells you. She could be pregnant though - weirder things have happened. Especially if you had sex with no protection while she was ovulating. But she certainly didn't have morning sickness. Lesson: do not have sex with crazy bitches.

[jhurtinct]

Something simulair happened to a bar tender I know of, he met this girl mid 20's (both were) they met and 2-4 wks later she's preg. She says its his baby and he does what he thinks is the right thing to do even though being teriffied and in disbelieve took her into his home and stayed w/her.

 

Now she has the baby and the child looks nothing like him, now after all these months of knowing it was a bit strange the way it happened so fasdt and she knew so fast, and him not really sure how to feel the pain of not being sure is killing him. He has mentioned just recently dna testing and she aparently got very upset.

 

All sounds strange to me we all(everyone who has heard the story)feel terrible for him.

 

After all this who knows when she was w/someone prior to him, just make sure ur careful and definitaly try to stay on her good nuts side for now and try to get to a Drs appt w/her to see due date and all.

 

Sorry for such a horrible situation I wish you the best, hang in there.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Seriously, I would suggest getting some legal advice NOW. Take in everything you have. Find out what your options are and how you can best protect yourself. The last thing you want is for her to vindictively cry 'rape' when you don't play things her way. If it turns out she is pregnant, then let her know that you will have no contact with her until you have a DNA test confirming that the child is yours - and should she need to communicate with you she can do it through your lawyer. There is no reason to trust this situation. None. Until you have a proof-positive DNA test in your hand, you will want to cover your ass, big time.

 

If the child is yours, then you can work through your lawyers to do what is best for that child.

[RecordProducer]

1. could she have actual vomiting just 2 days after conception?

2. could she have a positive pregnancy test at 7 days

3. is there any sort of diagnostic device that would detect a baby at something below 4 weeks? (like 3 to 3.5 weeks)

4. and if so, would a doctor normally use such a device under normal circumstances?

 

1. No. I am glad she didn't vomit two days before the "conception."

2. I am not sure about this. I suppose a blood test could register pregnancy, but she wouldn't be advised by her doctor to take it until her period is late. The home test is very unlikely to recognize pregnancy in the first two weeks.

3. It's possible.

4. My first ultrasound test was when I was in the second month.

 

I think she is either lying or if she IS pregnant then it's not yours. Ignore her completely. If it turns out that there is baby and it's yours, you will take responsibility but right now you don't have any reason to believe her or go to the doctor with her.

 

As to the baby picture, if she shows you anything, make sure her names is written below with an original doctor's stamp/signature (not a photocopy). If she eventually has a baby, do the DNA test to find out whether it's yours.

[pendr]

...for your advice. The whole "father" thing I can handle, and would handle if that is what comes along. But this whole "rape" thing has me freaked out. If she felt like it, she could accuse me of rape to the police, I would get arrested, and have to come up with the bail (which is $100K plus, or 10% of that if I pay a bail bondsman). Then I would have to retain a lawyer...those whom I have talked to have all said that a full "go to trial" case like this is about $50,000. Or just $5,000 to get up to pre-sentencing for a well-respected lawyer in the area.

 

I have e-mails from her that say:

 

-you did NOT rape me

-(then reversing her statement) I actually "felt" raped, but I absolutely did not let you know at the time

 

...so I would hope that any DA would look at this and see that there is no case, since I either did not rape her, or that she never let on anything at the time (the two exact clauses in the rape law that form the criteria for/against rape). But, I would still be out many thousands of dollars even to get to that point....I don't know if anyone out there has legal knowledge, so I am kinda of trying not to antagonize her, while at the same time trying to distance myself from her until things can be made more certain with any possible child.

 

thanks you all for your advice...it is a very hard time for me, and your postings make me feel a bit better

[LucreziaBorgia]

Would you consider at least a legal consultation to see if you will need further legal help? The thing I worry about is that you'll have all this evidence behind you, but if she cries 'rape' first you are probably going to be hosed despite your evidence.

 

I have a really good friend who spent a year in jail awaiting trial on rape charges - only to have the charges dropped the day of the trial, and he had a lot more evidence going for him than you do. After some investigation it came to light that he was the seventh time she falsely accused someone of rape. He still spent a year in jail though even though he did NOTHING wrong. He is still f*cked up to this day because of it, too.

 

I guess with a situation like this, you can never be too proactive.

[LauraBancroft]

...for your advice. The whole "father" thing I can handle, and would handle if that is what comes along. But this whole "rape" thing has me freaked out. If she felt like it, she could accuse me of rape to the police, I would get arrested, and have to come up with the bail (which is $100K plus, or 10% of that if I pay a bail bondsman). Then I would have to retain a lawyer...those whom I have talked to have all said that a full "go to trial" case like this is about $50,000. Or just $5,000 to get up to pre-sentencing for a well-respected lawyer in the area.

 

I have e-mails from her that say:

 

-you did NOT rape me

-(then reversing her statement) I actually "felt" raped, but I absolutely did not let you know at the time

 

...so I would hope that any DA would look at this and see that there is no case, since I either did not rape her, or that she never let on anything at the time (the two exact clauses in the rape law that form the criteria for/against rape). But, I would still be out many thousands of dollars even to get to that point....I don't know if anyone out there has legal knowledge, so I am kinda of trying not to antagonize her, while at the same time trying to distance myself from her until things can be made more certain with any possible child.

 

thanks you all for your advice...it is a very hard time for me, and your postings make me feel a bit better

 

No you can not feel nauseated two days after conception, nor can you tell 7 days after the fact either. Maybe with a bloodtest but not a urine test. The fact that she says she had a miscarriage and then oops no it was just bleeding should set off a lot of alarms for you. Seeing a child's pictures on sonogram is bs too for four weeks. I had my first sonogram at 2 months and even then it was slim pickings seeing the little thing. She is clearly lying and what a pathetic attempt at that. I'm with everyone here, ignore her completely, keep the emails, and seek legal consultation. You didn't rape her and if you have emails stating that then you should keep them, however I think you messed up by asking her if she felt raped in your email. You never need to plant that seed into her head because that gave her leverage. I wouldn't sit there and do nothing. Go to the nearest lawyer and get some advice. Don't take this lying down!

[pendr]

I _never_ said anything about rape....she brought it up out of the blue that one night. I _never_ said anything like that because I would never have thought she felt that way at the time.

 

I have talked to lawyers a little bit, and they say that this case would probably not happen once those letters come to light. But that would be after all of the financial stuff happened that I mentioned above. And I would need to have the $50K lined up in case things went to trial. What a couple of lawyers said is that in the pre-trial phase the DA around here may plea-bargain me to some misdemeanor or something, in order to get a conviction under their belt (so as to not throw off their conviction percentages). I don't know of that is true or not, but it still sucks.

[Craig]

I _never_ said anything about rape....she brought it up out of the blue that one night. I _never_ said anything like that because I would never have thought she felt that way at the time.

 

I have talked to lawyers a little bit, and they say that this case would probably not happen once those letters come to light. But that would be after all of the financial stuff happened that I mentioned above. And I would need to have the $50K lined up in case things went to trial. What a couple of lawyers said is that in the pre-trial phase the DA around here may plea-bargain me to some misdemeanor or something, in order to get a conviction under their belt (so as to not throw off their conviction percentages). I don't know of that is true or not, but it still sucks.

Bypass the middleman and go to the DA yourself right now. Tell them your whole story and see what they say.

 

If you are arrested later on by the police who don't necessarily have the information you gave the DA and the DA has your evidence then chances are that you wouldn't be charged because the DA doesn't want to waste time on a no win case.

 

Do not accept any kind of a plea bargain if you are innocent, the DA's can be scum with plea bargains and some DA's would rather have an innocent man have a criminal record than lose a trial.

[pendr]

I was advised by onw of the better lawyers I have talked to that going to the DA first would not be the best idea. He seemed not too sure about what he was saying, in that he did not know if it would be good or not to do. The DA's office serves to protect the accuser, and in this case I would not be that person. Well, I guess I would be, in that I would be the victim of a false accusation.....hmmmmm....I don't know if that would start more bad things than I would want?

[Craig]

I was advised by onw of the better lawyers I have talked to that going to the DA first would not be the best idea. He seemed not too sure about what he was saying, in that he did not know if it would be good or not to do. The DA's office serves to protect the accuser, and in this case I would not be that person. Well, I guess I would be, in that I would be the victim of a false accusation.....hmmmmm....I don't know if that would start more bad things than I would want?

You have a choice to live in fear and be the victim of harassment or take a proactive approach. The fact that this so called better lawyer didn't seem to sure of what he was saying is an indication that he is playing you. He wants your $50k--it's business, nothing personal.

 

Last time I checked, harassment is a criminal offense as is filing a false police report. As a male you have a disadvantage if accused of this type of crime, the police may not even talk to you but just arrest you. If you don't supply the DA with your evidence prior to being charged the DA will want to plea bargain with you after getting your evidence and will keep up the charade until the day of your trial when the charges will be dropped. It's a game, a sick game and you definitely should talk to the DA now, not after you are charged.

 

Another way to look at it is that if you go to the DA first YOU will be the accuser, accusing her of harassment and possibly threatening to falsely accuse you of something you didn't do.

 

If you don't go to the DA maybe your crazy hookup won't call the police but in the mean time you'll live in fear.

[JaneInVegas]

Dude .... don't waste a single more second not knowing for sure if she's pregnant or not.

 

DO THIS

 

Go to Walmart (or any other place, but Walmart is cheapest) and get a HOME PREGNANCY TEST. Buy it yourself. Read all the directions to make yourself knowledgable, but it's pretty simple. Then GO TO HER armed with the test and your new knowledge, and tell her to pee for you. Watch her pee, do the test yourself.

 

The last time I bought a home pregnancy test they were about $15. They take 3 minutes for results, and they are 99.9% accurate. Doctors use the same tests you buy at Walmart.

 

Don't take her word for it anymore, empower yourself with the TRUTH.

[pendr]

I have thought about that, but honestly at this point, I don't want to be in the same room/house alone with her. If in 8 months there is a child, and a paternity test shows I am the father, then so be it, and I will fight to be a part of my child's life. If she is telling the truth about how she felt violated by me (though no rape happened in a legal sense), then there is no way she will be rational towards me and give me a fair chance at anything right now.

[RecordProducer]

There is no way she could have morning sickness 2.5 days after the conception! It actually might take a few days for the conception to happen (that the sperm fertilizes the egg after entering it). Also she wouldn't have a reason to do the pregnancy test 7 days after the intercourse as she wouldn't have any symptoms of pregnancy that early and he period wouldn't be late yet.

 

No point of knowing whether she is pregnant at all. If she is, the baby is not yours. Just don't sweat it anymore. If a baby is born in 8 months, require DNA test. That's all.

[pendr]

She said on Tuesday that "some things that are supposed to have happened have not yet". Which means that she was supposed to start her period on sunday or monday, and that that did not happen.

 

You said that her period would be late a week later, but maybe I am not understanding how those things work. Once fertilization has occurred, a woman's period stops. So if we had sex on Friday, and it was just the PERFECT time, then would not she NOT have her period that sunday or monday, since she was essentially pregnant at that time?

 

funny...after telling me all this, she says she is on birth control pills, but her doctor thinks that they might not be effective, due to other medications she is taking...whatever that means.

 

am I incorrect about how the reproductive cycle works? Others I have talked to have said that she would miss her period and then look to getting tests, etc. But if she is only a day or so before her period, then that one two or three week timeline to her next period is a moot point. She would essentially miss her period right then....it's just about timing, right?

[d'Arthez]

Yes, but that would require ovulation being around that same Friday, if it were to be your child. In general ovulation occurs 2 weeks after the start of a period, in a cycle that lasts 4 weeks. So if she were pregnant, chances are very high that she shared the bed with someone else two weeks before missing her period.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Lets say her period was due on September 18 - Sunday. With birth control, I would guess it to be a 28 day cycle, which means her last period would have been on August 22 or 23 or so. Calculating for ovulation her most fertile days would be (found on the ovulation calculator that I use for myself):

 

8/23/05 - First day of your cycle

9/03/05 - A little bit fertile

9/04/05 - Fertile

9/05/05 - VERY fertile

9/06/05 - Time to ovulate (give or take a day depending on the day her period actually started)

 

That is if she did ovulate, given that she is on birth control pills. Ovulation does not occur and continue over a period of weeks. What date did you actually have the unprotected sex? I guess the timing here would depend on that.

 

You still want to protect yourself in this situation though. Seriously.

[New_Wife]

I had a sonogram really early in my pregnancy with my daughter, because there were problems. They had to use a vaginal sonogram wand thingie, because the baby is so small at that point that it's the only route to see things. So there's a detail worth knowing.

 

As to what you see...I think, after having a few children and more than a few ultrasounds, I can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that you don't see a dang thing that looks much like a baby until well into the second trimester. At first, it looks like an odd little bean or peanut, then a bit like a big-headed lizard. Most of the time, even when the baby is huge, the technologist will say "oh there, do you see the head?" and you look and look at look, and it all looks like when the cable goes out on your TV.

 

Further, if there IS anything to see, they ALWAYS print you a picture to take home and really annoy your friends and family members with.

 

Vomiting two days after having sex means you've either got a bug, or drank too much. Unless she's growing some sort of rapid-growing-mutant-alien pod. You're not a mutant alien, right?

 

Take a deep breath. Relax, and be more careful where you dip your wick in the future, and for the love of all that is good, cover that puppy up next time!

[SilentPrayer]

You do not get morning sickness until about a month after conception. That she claimed to be sick after 2 and a half days is laughable. She is also very unlikely to get a positive pregnancy test after just 7 days. But the doctor might... if they'd even see someone before even missing a period.

 

I think she's full of it, and I think you have every right to question every thing she tells you. She could be pregnant though - weirder things have happened. Especially if you had sex with no protection while she was ovulating. But she certainly didn't have morning sickness. Lesson: do not have sex with crazy bitches.

 

Magda,

 

I have been in this situation before. You know that one peanut is not the same as that other peanut. Don't you?

Let me inform you if you haven't had the wonderful mistake of getting pregnant yourself.

I started feeling nausea around the 2nd week. Although at the time I didn't think of it as being PREGO. I thought that it was my stomach "it is sencitive".

As another week progressed. It was hard core morning sickness, vomiting, gagging, couldnt hold down water let alone any kind of food until about 5 pm.

 

So yes the girl is lieing or she is really nervous about being pregnant. She is in her first trimester if she is pregnant. If she is "for sure" pregnant ask her for the test from the doctor. It is a strip about 2 inches long. It should have two red stripes on it that tells you she is prego. Remember 2 red stripes.

Please remind your girl that you are a grown man and need proper proof to help you deal with this. Word of mouth means nothing to @ this point and that genuine proof of her pregnancy is needed because this is NOT a light issue.

 

Best of luck,

 

Ps: Are you going to let her have this child out of wedlock?

[SilentPrayer]

There is no way she could have morning sickness 2.5 days after the conception! It actually might take a few days for the conception to happen (that the sperm fertilizes the egg after entering it). Also she wouldn't have a reason to do the pregnancy test 7 days after the intercourse as she wouldn't have any symptoms of pregnancy that early and he period wouldn't be late yet.

 

No point of knowing whether she is pregnant at all. If she is, the baby is not yours. Just don't sweat it anymore. If a baby is born in 8 months, require DNA test. That's all.

 

 

It takes 5 days for the sperm to reach an egg. I watched it on Discovery channel. It takes 5 days for the sperm to finally find their way to the egg. It is a long time but you have to understand that they spend a few days fighting to make it past a womans "fighters" who are getting the sperm to go away.

Anyhow. She is SOooooo right. 2.5 days and she is sick....ask her if she is hung over lol...because she cant be feeling sick.

Her body is probably playing tricks on her right now, and she is scaring herself. She can be pregnant and get a real test at week one, but ask that you both see the doctor to better educate yourself and her.

You can be there when the test is being done.

 

Congrats if you want it, and best of luck if you dont