Boyfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week I’m so upset with myself

[NolanTyle]

You're just enabling him to remain a child, just like his mother apparently did. If he's that broke and unemployed, why is he even playing any games? He should be job hunting or going to school or out trying to get odd jobs from neighbors. Oh, he'll be back, don't worry, because he's found his second mom, but it won't be fun and he'll be resentful in general. You need to seize this golden opportunity to make this breakup his idea and just block him and be done with it.

 

He has a job but he leaves work early or calls out all the time. He literally called out for Mother’s Day ... he isn’t a woman he has no children. His excuse was he got up late he stays on the game all night long and can’t get up i time for work so instead of going to work late he just doesn’t go at all. He doesn’t work overtime to get more hours or money either

[basil67]

Instead of trying to prevent hisself from selling his game he asked me for a loan all morning last month. But it didn’t get approved Thank goodness

 

And you allowed him to pester you. Why were you afraid to say No?

[NolanTyle]

And you allowed him to pester you. Why were you afraid to say No?

 

I just assumed i was helping him out i guess i didn’t want to say no smh

[d0nnivain]

I know it’s like i love him but at the same time i feel like i need to leave him I’ve helped him so much these last few months and i get ignored

 

Bingo!

 

He has a job but he leaves work early or calls out all the time. He literally called out for Mother’s Day ... he isn’t a woman he has no children. His excuse was he got up late he stays on the game all night long and can’t get up i time for work so instead of going to work late he just doesn’t go at all. He doesn’t work overtime to get more hours or money either

 

As long as well meaning people like you loan him money & bail him out, he won't change. He needs to suffer the consequences of his choices & that may include losing his GF. Unless you are fully prepared to saddle yourself with a manchild that you will have to 100% support while his lazy behind plays games, run away.

[NolanTyle]

So then if I’ve been helping him this whole time why is he upset that someone else knows? He’s okay with asking for money but he’s not okay with admitting he needs help

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I only asked someone to help because i felt he needs encouragement and he turns and ignores me for a whole week after I’ve done so much??

Edited July 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[Flame Aura]

So then if I’ve been helping him this whole time why is he upset that someone else knows? He’s okay with asking for money but he’s not okay with admitting he needs help

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I only asked someone to help because i felt he needs encouragement and he turns and ignores me for a whole week after I’ve done so much??

 

You still don't get it. We all know why, you need to see it too.

 

He is a child, a boy, immature. That's exactly how kids act.

 

You may love him but he certainly doesn't love you, that is very very clear. You want to be in a relationship where you are valued and loved the same as you feel for the other person. This is not it. End things and find someone better.

[d0nnivain]

So then if I’ve been helping him this whole time why is he upset that someone else knows? He’s okay with asking for money but he’s not okay with admitting he needs help

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I only asked someone to help because i felt he needs encouragement and he turns and ignores me for a whole week after I’ve done so much??

 

 

First she didn't tell him that you asked her for help. She told him that you were complaining about him, calling him a lazy bum & generally complaining about it.

 

Second, by telling her anything you shattered the illusion that he's got in all going on, doing what he wants, when he wants, answering to no one & still getting his bills paid, living life on his terms.

 

The more you post, the more I think he's doing you a favor by not talking to you. He's a wreck

[schlumpy]

The woman you talked with about your boyfriends problems who then ratted you out? Yeah, that one.

 

Write her name on a writing pad and then take a big black magic marker and put a nice thick X right through her name. Pin that up on the fridge. Ok, so that's for her.

 

As for him - do not under any circumstances, unless you are under threat of death, loan him another nickel and I'm begging you on my knees not to sign your name on any loan for him.

 

The money you gave him is gone. Think of this like a bad investment in the stock market. You sell and take your losses and then reinvestment as a more competent investor.

 

You come across as such a lovely, caring person. It breaks my heart to know how many men out there would view your involvement in their life as the answer to many lonely prayers.

 

Quit trying to save your current boyfriend. It's not going to work in your favor.

 

Best Wishes

[lolamopa3400]

@expatinitaly - Why are you ignoring the fact that her bf believed his friend over her.

 

This is a big red flag. You advise her to give him one more call when he clearly doesn't trust her.

 

How can a relationship survive without trust?

 

Op reached out to her bf's BEST friend for advise on how to help her bf survive hard times.

 

Op, you haven't really done anything so bad as to warrant the treatment you are getting.

And my boyfriend believes her over me because he does borrow money from people. I tried to tell him what really happened and it seemed like he believed me but i could tell he was sad. We talked for about an hour about what happened we talked about our weekends and I asked him “when can I see you again so we can talk face to face” and he said “I have a few things to do this week but I’ll let you know when I’m free” and i said “goodnight” I texted him the other day and called and no response or anything and I 100% believe he’s really mad at me. I really love him with all of my heart and I don’t want this to be the end and I’ll cant seem to forgive myself for discussing his financial problems with someone else

[ExpatInItaly]

Er, lolamopa3400, I think you're posting under the wrong account.

 

I gather you are also the OP, NolanTyle?