GamedNerd5 Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 My girlfriend and I go to the same community college it’s a pretty decent sized college considering the city size and it’s loads of students there. My girlfriend and I have a mutual friend she’s a woman. I’ve been friends with her way longer than my girlfriend but she’s been telling my girlfriend that I’m cheating on her and that I’m in her inbox on Facebook and just a lot of things. My girlfriend has came back and told me but it’s now becoming an on going problem. She tells my girlfriend I’m supposedly messing with a few other women in my English composition class. She’s asked my girlfriend are we still dating or messing around. Numerous things she’s done and even though I’ve stopped talking to her and communicating with her she still confronts my girlfriend and my girlfriend ignores her but the problem isn’t my girlfriend my problem is that she’s putting my name in a pool of lies. I avoided this girl changed my number and completely stopped talking to her and she still persists The bad thing about the whole situation is I can’t muster up enough courage tot ell her off. For some reason I’m scared. I told my girlfriend how I wanted to go up to her and tell her off and confront her but i can’t for some reason. I feel weak and that I’m all talk. My girlfriend tells me to not bother with her but Will confronting her help?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 I would simply tell her that you know what is being said about you and that it needs to stop. And then walk away. Why are you scared of this person?
Author GamedNerd5 Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 I would simply tell her that you know what is being said about you and that it needs to stop. And then walk away. Why are you scared of this person? I’m scared of confrontation that’s all
ExpatInItaly Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 I’m scared of confrontation that’s all Maybe it will help if you don't frame this as a confrontation. View as you simply asserting yourself and stating what you want to happen - that she stop. Don't say anything more. Say your piece, and walk away calmly. This girl sounds horribly jealous of your relationship with your girlfriend and I would bet money that she wants you for herself. I am sure you already gathered that, but at least your girlfriend is mature enough to see past the toxic behaviour and stand beside you. She may or may not stop trying to interfere, but at least you will know that you stood your ground.
kendahke Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 (edited) I’m scared of confrontation that’s all What do you think will happen if you confront someone who is clearly wronging you? Your friend is extremely jealous of your relationship with your girlfriend and that is why she is meddling in it. You being afraid of her is you telling your girlfriend that the discomfort your friend is causing her is less important to you than the maintenance of your fear of her. Edited July 5, 2019 by kendahke
PegNosePete Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 My girlfriend and I have a mutual friend Goodness, with friends like that who needs enemies? Why not just cut the "friend" off? A confrontation isn't necessarily required. Just don't talk to her any more (either of you). And if she tries to talk to you, turn and walk away. 1
preraph Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 You tell your gf, I'll happily stop talking to her entirely if you will do the same, but if you won't stop and block her, then there's no point in me doing it either.
Author GamedNerd5 Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 Goodness, with friends like that who needs enemies? Why not just cut the "friend" off? A confrontation isn't necessarily required. Just don't talk to her any more (either of you). And if she tries to talk to you, turn and walk away. We both ignore her but she not only tells my girlfriend she tells people at school they and they come up to me telling me she’s told them... it’s like she went from telling my gf to telling everybody in my social circle
Author GamedNerd5 Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 You tell your gf, I'll happily stop talking to her entirely if you will do the same, but if you won't stop and block her, then there's no point in me doing it either. We both have the problem now is she is telling other people. A few people has said things to me calling me a liar and cheater and telling me she has said I’m messing with her on the side. My girlfriend gets distracted because she wants me to do something about it
Author GamedNerd5 Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 What do you think will happen if you confront someone who is clearly wronging you? Your friend is extremely jealous of your relationship with your girlfriend and that is why she is meddling in it. You being afraid of her is you telling your girlfriend that the discomfort your friend is causing her is less important to you than the maintenance of your fear of her. I’m not sure I’ve never been the type for drama especially as a male. And i try to tell my gf this that she might be jealous. She tells other people I’m trying to get with her and that’s what the problem is now. She went from talking to my gf to telling others and my girlfriend is getting frustrated
preraph Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 If that woman is totally lying and you have never come on to her, then she's pretty psycho and not much you can do about her except tell your friends she's totally lying and that you and your gf are both not speaking to her now. That reminds me of the time a receptionist at my biggest client told me in front of my regional manager while we were waiting in the reception area that I was pregnant (I was in my 40s and def not preggo). I didn't know this woman at all. I was wearing a suit. She wouldn't stop saying it. I was mortified and finally walked outside to get away from her and later complained about her to a supervisor. OMG. Some people. But I think my regional guy believed her. It was so aggravating. Just pulling stuff out of thin air. Who knows what goes on in some sick people's brains.
kendahke Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 We both ignore her but she not only tells my girlfriend she tells people at school they and they come up to me telling me she’s told them... it’s like she went from telling my gf to telling everybody in my social circle You know how to stop her? Both you and your girlfriend confront her in front of the people she's told lies to and demand her proof of you blowing up her phone and every other lie she's told---ask the group to name her lies she's told them and then demand her proof of your involvement. That is the only way you can succeed in shutting her down. If you can't handle that, then you're going to have to deal with your friends running to you over her latest antics all the time. Sometimes, you have to just grow a pair and handle people.
NolanTyle Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 I agree confronting her doesn’t have to be hegstove she might’ve misunderstood something you said or did
Noproblem Posted July 7, 2019 Posted July 7, 2019 I don't think confronting her is gonna do anything, to be honest. She is a crazy girl. she will make up even more lies. 1
smackie9 Posted July 7, 2019 Posted July 7, 2019 Confronting her will only give her victory. She will use that interaction and find some way to press charges against you, and possibly get you kicked out. Your GF needs to take the next step and go to the dean's office to report her for harassment.Maybe she can get a video recording or show text messages to backup her story. 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 She sounds like a really toxic person. If you continue being friends w/her, she will destroy this relationship and any other one you may get into.
PegNosePete Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 We both have the problem now is she is telling other people. A few people has said things to me calling me a liar and cheater Well, I guess you know who your true friends are.
Maddie82 Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Just make sure that you and your girlfriend stay strong and tight together and warn everyone about this girls behavior. Your gf may be frustrated with all this but don't let this girl come between you, because if she does, she has won. If you remain strong and unbreakable in your relationship she may back down. Although this seems unlikely. Both you and your gf need to warn everyone and report her to the dean for harassment. Check her social media to see if she is posting crap online about you and screenshot it. Document everything as evidence.
Recommended Posts