Its Not A Tumaaa Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Alright, I'm a guy, obviously. Well, anyway I guess you can say I've been screwed over by women one too many times. Hell, just last year I've been led on four times in a ROW. If you care to hear the stories personally, I'll be glad to share them, but I don't want to take up all of your time. Needless to say, the extent to women breaking my heart has permenantly destroyed any trust from the opposite sex. Because of my lack of trust issues, I've stayed away from the entire relationship thing, I've just stuck with dating and sex. I've even changed my approach to women, too. Beforehand, I would be the "Nice, Good, Mr. Wright" guy that would spill his heart to woman like a pathetic little kid, and in turn I would get walked over. Not anymore. After years of heartbreak I came to realize that women truly do go for that "Bad Boy" assholish type of guy. Now, I'm not saying I'm a wussbag or anything. Yes, I do have a bad boy rebellious aura with me, but I NEVER used it with women, because I do believe in treating them with respect. This is where I get bit in the ass, because I'd just be the good friend that women would cry to about their deadbeat, loser boyfriends, and fill my ears with constant whinings and shrieks of pathetic immaturity, asking simply, "Why can't I find a nice guy like you?" In light of all this, I have become that guy. Not necessarily an a**h***, more so "hard to get" I like playing with women's heads and messing with their emotions. Not only does it get me away from heartache, but it got them to fall for me easier. Yes, I would date, and I would have sex, but sex just didn't cut it for me anymore. It was fun for a while, but I was missing this feeling... This feeling you get in your stomach when you're making love to the one you care about. I didn't have this feeling, and it was driving me insane... So, foolishly, I looked back to the relationship circuit. There used to be this girl that worked down the street from me. Every morning before class, I'd go in with insanely horrible looking bed head. She'd constantly tell me, "Oh my god I love your hair." I would smile and become bashful, and I would play it off, "Ahh naaa I look terrible." She used to try to convince me how good I looked, and her friend even pointed it out for her one day when she was hiding in the back because she was too shy to talk. Well, time passed and she stopped working there, and I never ever got her number. My chance was ruined, I should have made a move, but it was that trust issue that was getting to me. A year went by and I got into the whole "Myspace" thing. (Because you're not a cool kid unless you have a Myspace apparently.) I met this girl off of it. (She didn't have a picture up) who seemed really really cool. Now I was never interested in meeting her, just chatting it up. We liked the same movies as one another and just had fun chats. Well we get to chatting, and I come to find out she is the same exact girl who used to work down the street from me. So, we got to talking more. She had a boyfriend but wanted to break up with him. She's a very shy girl and doesn't like hurting people. The guy was an a**h***, and she didn't know how to break up with him. I gave her some tips and advice. Eventually, they broke up. I took my chance immediately. I decided to meet her one day. The minute I saw her I was captivated by how amazingly beautiful she is. She didn't talk much at first, her being really shy. Well, one thing led to another and I made my move on her. After a few days of the whole "Friends with benefits" thing, we finally started dating. She was hesitant at first, being nervous, but my constant persistence got her to say yes to me. Constantly, this girl tells me how much I drive her crazy. She always sends messages saying how much she misses me, she lets me know how I'm the only guy she's ever felt this way for before, and quick too. She talks to my best friend who tells me how crazy this girl is for me. Going against my standards, I tell her how much she means to me too. I'm playing the nice guy, even though I know how bad it is. She says she's not that type of girl. She claims and assures me she would never hurt me, and the only way we'd break up is if I did it because she likes me too much. Now I've heard all this before, MANY times. I can't believe any of this. The sad thing is, she is the sweetest, most beautiful girl I've ever known. The fact that we are Head over Heels for each other drives me insanse, I don't want to get too attached. Every day I am preparing myself for the break up. I don't want to get too attached, but I can't help it. I'm really falling for her. I've been breaking all my rules. I pour my heart out to her, I'm exceedingly nice, and I tell her how I feel. Every day I worry, "Will she like me tomorrow?" I constantly wonder when things will start going bad. If I call her and she doesn't answer the phone my heart races, because I'm afraid she doesn't like me anymore. I HATE not being able to trust people. It kills me. Remember that feeling during sex I was talking about? The one where you feel it in your stomach? Yes, I get it with her. I'm finally happy, so happy after a long time.. And It's killing me. I really care for this girl, and I want to make the best out of this relationship while it lasts. Am I wrong for not trusting her? Should I just break things off right now, before I get too attached and end up heart broken again? I don't know what to do. I really am falling for her, but I don't want to get hurt again. I really wish I can trust women, but they've already ruined it for me. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
JS17 Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 I don't trust anyone. I still wouldn't advise breaking it off. One of you will end up screwing the other one over eventually so just enjoy the ride.
Author Its Not A Tumaaa Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 Yeah, that's usually how it always ends up with me.
JS17 Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 You could very well be the one that screws her over. You certainly have it in you.... In light of all this, I have become that guy. Not necessarily an a**h***, more so "hard to get" I like playing with women's heads and messing with their emotions. Not only does it get me away from heartache, but it got them to fall for me easier.
Author Its Not A Tumaaa Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 Naaa, I like her too much as of now to screw her over. But, I don't know, I guess only time will tell.
heartnsoul Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 Hey, I just recently got dumped by someone who has your same issue! Fear of commitment!! Ahh...let it go. Your insecurity is just gonna eat the relationship from the inside out anyways. Broken hearts, tears, blah blah blah JADED WOMEN UNITE!!!! ((((HUGS TO JS17))))) I'm only teasing hun. Don't let fear ruin your chance at true love. Give it an honest go and have a blast!!
Author Its Not A Tumaaa Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 Thanks for all the advice. I'm starting to lean towards giving it a shot, but I still have that doubt in the back of my mind. I wish it'd go away, ahh! Give a drill or something so I can bore it out.
Jayhawks Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 One of you will end up screwing the other one over eventually so just enjoy the ride. Ah, JS. Trust is a two edged sword. How life's experiences changes us.
JS17 Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 It already sounds like you're the one that is going end up hurting her. You two are both crazy for each other and you're going to end it out of the blue because you're afraid. She's going to be blindsided and not understand because she thought she found someone wonderful. You will crush her. Case in point...go read Alison C's post.
heartnsoul Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 Yep, JS17 is right. I swear that I just experienced the same thing. My ex bf told me the first night I met him that he was 'affraid of getting hurt' and everyday that followed was me trying to reassure him otherwise. Guess what, I got my heart broken. It's a self fulfilling prophecy. Your fear could very well cause you to do exactly what you're afraid of having done to yourself. Don't take that route
Author Its Not A Tumaaa Posted September 26, 2005 Author Posted September 26, 2005 Yeah, I didn't really think of it like that. I don't want to hurt her, because she is a really good girl and doesn't deserve that. I'd rather have myself get hurt again then hurt her, at least I'm used to it.
lost_in_chgo Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 I don't trust anyone. I still wouldn't advise breaking it off. One of you will end up screwing the other one over eventually so just enjoy the ride. I agree, I plan on screwing over my new girlfriend in 7 months 1 week and 3 days at about 6PM. I'm going to tell her that I love her, but I'm just not in love with her. Then I'm going to ask her if she wants to go to the mall with me and my new girlfriend and hang out.
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