tokidoki Posted July 4, 2019 Posted July 4, 2019 Do women, generally speaking, initiate sex out of nowhere with men who they know but are not romantically interested in? I ended up in bed with a friend of mine and she came on to me really hard. We did the deed but I don't feel as though she wanted it to be any more. I can take or leave but it seems weird to me. Never had a girl do that. She might be playing it cool or she might genuinely not be interested in me.
mortensorchid Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 Depends on the situation. Was this a party or were you drinking or something when this happened?
alphamale Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 don't look a gift horse in the mouth undergarment 2
Ami1uwant Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 Either she had been drinking or you were clueless to her prior signals.
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 It's called FWB. You two already knew each other. She was horney. You were there. You had sex. You willingly participated. It was her scratching an itch. Yes, women do have needs. You fulfilled her. She back to being your friend now. Do you want more now, or something? If so talk to her about it. It may make things awkward if she doesn't feel the same way but in time you can come back to a friendship. 2
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 women don't need to have romantic feelings or an interest to have sex with someone. I agree she was horny, you were there, she needed a scratched itched...end of.
Author tokidoki Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 meh. Funny that if guys do that, they're douchebags. If a girl does it, she's empowered. Double standaaaaaard!
kendahke Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 meh. Funny that if guys do that, they're douchebags. If a girl does it, she's empowered. Double standaaaaaard! You could have always grabbed your pearls and recoiled in horror at the notion... you had sex with her, so the double standard didn't bother you that much... 4
Author tokidoki Posted July 5, 2019 Author Posted July 5, 2019 (edited) I had sex with her because I like her. I wasn't scratching an itch and using her for my own satisfaction. besides, she could probably have anyone she wanted, so why not go to bar and pick someone up? Weird to use long established friends for sex and expect them just to 'count themselves lucky' Edited July 5, 2019 by undergarment101
preraph Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 (edited) She also might have been acting out after something happened in her life. I have done that before. Was dating a separated man and suddenly didn't hear from him in two weeks, then he calls to tell me he and his wife are going ahead with the divorce and she now knows about me and all (she initiated the separation and already knew about me from gossip), and I'm supposed to be really happy with the news, but for two weeks I was assuming the worst and going through torture emotionally, and I was very angry he left me hanging like that. And I went on a tear and got laid immediately, just purely as an act of rebellion, with a guy who'd been flirting that I'd been warned about by his male friends who were in a band with him (he'd been gone this whole time and just recently came back and his reputation preceded him), the same band the last guy before this one I'd been in love with that never worked out was in, so very messy. Yes, I did the thing that would stir up the hornet's nest the most and it was just a big FU to the recent men in my life and the things they'd put me through, and it felt GREAT! No one was more surprised than me at my actions. So there are many reasons one might just grab a guy and go for it. Just enjoy the moment. Because they can be great moments, if totally flawed in every other way! P.S. The prior ex (band one) showed up before dawn at my apartment and was denied entrance by my roommate, so he showed up at my work pretending not to care and laugh it off, with his hand on his hip. The separated one knew nothing about it for a long time until long after we were over and were working together. I got poison ivy that night, so that became ripples in a pond, then put in a book, and the only thing some peripheral people from that crowd remember me for decades later. Good times. Edited July 5, 2019 by preraph
d0nnivain Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 meh. Funny that if guys do that, they're douchebags. If a girl does it, she's empowered. Double standaaaaaard! Nobody here called anybody a douchebag. Only people who lie & tell their sex partner that they want a relationship when they don't are bad folks. Consensual sex between 2 adults is just that. Nobody is a bad person. Why so defensive? I get it, you like her & feel like she was using you. But was she really, at least in a bad way? Did you not enjoy the sex? Have your feelings about her changed? If you are angry & feel used you need to tell her that. If she knows that you have genuine feelings for her, AND you step up to do something romantic like ask her on a date, you may be able to have a relationship if that is what you want. If you just stand there & be upset with her you will ruin the friendship too, unless that is what you want because you now think less of her knowing she is a sexual being.
kendahke Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 besides, she could probably have anyone she wanted, so why not go to bar and pick someone up? Weird to use long established friends for sex and expect them just to 'count themselves lucky' Well, you're the one placing a value on the experience, not her... for her, it was something to do and you were willing--why should she arse herself more when you were ready to go?
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2019 Posted July 5, 2019 meh. Funny that if guys do that, they're douchebags. If a girl does it, she's empowered. Double standaaaaaard! no...if a guy friend just all of a sudden wanted smash, I wouldn't think he wants romance...I would think he just wants sex. So you are comparing apples to oranges.
Foxhall Posted July 6, 2019 Posted July 6, 2019 Lol, I had this fwb situation going for a while with my Hungarian friend, she says that eastern european women in particular have a high sex drive compared to say Irish women anyway, so it was convenient for her, might as well be with me who she knows well than going out looking for a stranger, so I was not arguing! we are just back to normal friends again now, Id imagine this could cause awkwardness in some situations, depends on the personalities of the people involved, so yes there are these types of women out there!
Beendaredonedat Posted July 6, 2019 Posted July 6, 2019 I had sex with her because I like her. I wasn't scratching an itch and using her for my own satisfaction. besides, she could probably have anyone she wanted, so why not go to bar and pick someone up? Weird to use long established friends for sex and expect them just to 'count themselves lucky' What were the circumstances leading up to you getting bizzzy with her?
MINAKO Posted July 6, 2019 Posted July 6, 2019 Yes, I have done this once. It would only be bad if it was implied that I wanted a relationship or something deep, but no. I just wanted a good time and to take some things off my mind, distract myself from busy and stressful life at the time. Nothing cruel, no bad intentions. We had fun. That is all I wanted. Both men and women do this, and it takes two to tango However, if you are having feelings or are upset by this or did not expect things to end like that, then you should speak with her just to sort out the friendship for sure.
mortensorchid Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Some people drink and/or do drugs to blot things out, and some people use sex in the same way. I think we all go through these growing pains at times. She may be doing the same. 1
rightondude Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 Ladies, a secret, we men feel like just about any woman could fix themselves up, walk into a bar and go home with some guy on any night of the week. I think that's the confusion the OP has, why choose me? Since they had a prior relationship at some level, he thinks he's somehow transitioned into someone she likes at more than just a wham bam type deal, broke through the friend zone, or something more significant than just being a D in a glass box type deal. Well dude, hate to break it to you but sometimes women just break the glass because it's easier to do so (and safer). It's a mind-F for sure, but best to just move on and accept it. In fact if you do so, she'll likely like you more. Don't screw it up by being clingy afterwards.
MINAKO Posted July 8, 2019 Posted July 8, 2019 ...sometimes women just break the glass because it's easier to do so (and safer). I agree. Also why I could never do something like this with a stranger, as it is just not safe in the same way. (I agree with everything else you said, too).
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