livinglife2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 I’ve been seeing this guy for about 8 weeks now and it seems to be going pretty well until lately, up until last week things were going so smoothly and we where spending nearly all our free time together now it’s all change. Last week he got a text from his ex, the ex mentioned she was in hospital after a fall and he replied saying if she needed anything to let him know and he then went on to tell her about his new job etc. Anyway since that week he’s been acting slightly different towards me, a little colder now it could be my imagination. He has introduced me to more of his friends and I was invited to his very good friends house this weekend for a bbq. He also said he must introduce me to another one of his good friends. So they are good signs but he seems to be colder via texts as well. Short reply’s and doesn’t really ask much questions. We went from spending 3/4 nights a week together to not sleeping together In 5. Should I address my feelings? He is spending the night in mine tomorrow so I think it could be a good idea to bring it up then. I have asked if everything was ok between us and he said yes but it’s the fact the change happened around the same time his ex reached out that has me a little worried.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 (edited) How long have they been broken up? Do you know if they were in contact leading up to this? EDIT: Is this the same guy from your last thread back in May, who lied about seeing other women? Edited July 3, 2019 by ExpatInItaly 1
Author livinglife2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 Well I think they broke up Feb so about 5 months and I think the last contact was back in May. Yes it is but I over reacted on that part it was all cleared up. I read into it too much. How long have they been broken up? Do you know if they were in contact leading up to this? EDIT: Is this the same guy from your last thread back in May, who lied about seeing other women?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 And how long were they together? I would be concerned that you noticed this shift since she got in touch with him. It may have triggered something in him that had been dormant or that he'd been trying to ignore.
Author livinglife2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 I don’t think it was very long, few months maybe they broke up because she moved to a different city but has moved back. Now I do trust him but I’m not sure if I trust her especially as he message came across as one of those type of messages that wants sympathy and he fell for it. Should I just mention to him that I feel a slight change in his behavior towards me? The friends bbq I’m going to this weekend is a big deal. He told me a while back that his friend is very fussy on who they Invite to their home and wouldn’t let him bring someone unless it was serious. And how long were they together? I would be concerned that you noticed this shift since she got in touch with him. It may have triggered something in him that had been dormant or that he'd been trying to ignore.
smackie9 Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Hun it takes 2 to tango....if he caves in that easily, he's the one you can't trust. He's a big boy, he makes his own decisions. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Is this an official exclusive boyfriend or someone you dating that hasn’t establish exclusivity with yet? 1
Author livinglife2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 Well we aren’t officially a couple but we have discussed exclusivity and not to sleep with or date anyone else. I do plan on having a talk about us finally confirming our relationship as we know each other 3 months and have been dating officially 2. He did say he wanted to take things slow but that was a few weeks ago so I should be well within my rights to ask if he’s ready now. . Is this an official exclusive boyfriend or someone you dating that hasn’t establish exclusivity with yet?
Author livinglife2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 I do agree, I do have trust issues that I am working on but sometimes I feel like he isn’t helping by being shady at times. Hun it takes 2 to tango....if he caves in that easily, he's the one you can't trust. He's a big boy, he makes his own decisions.
Curiousroxy86 Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 I think you should wake up lol It’s been 8 weeks and since you said it’s the same guy unless something has changed...y’all not even officially together You already felt the need to snoop through his phone and found out he date other women It would be no surprise that you found out about this ex situation through snooping again lol Y’all havent even went through beginning relationship honeymoon phase (cause y’all not together) and he already acting distant Girl this is a no. Canceled. Your done. Date some other guy
Author livinglife2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 I don’t know if this would be worth mentioning I owe him €200 I had to book flights for a family wedding but didn’t have the money so he let me use his card. I do fully intend to pay it back but I’m a little worried he might just be waiting till I pay him back before he leaves? Payday is next Friday. Am I over thinking this part? I’ve been seeing this guy for about 8 weeks now and it seems to be going pretty well until lately, up until last week things were going so smoothly and we where spending nearly all our free time together now it’s all change. Last week he got a text from his ex, the ex mentioned she was in hospital after a fall and he replied saying if she needed anything to let him know and he then went on to tell her about his new job etc. Anyway since that week he’s been acting slightly different towards me, a little colder now it could be my imagination. He has introduced me to more of his friends and I was invited to his very good friends house this weekend for a bbq. He also said he must introduce me to another one of his good friends. So they are good signs but he seems to be colder via texts as well. Short reply’s and doesn’t really ask much questions. We went from spending 3/4 nights a week together to not sleeping together In 5. Should I address my feelings? He is spending the night in mine tomorrow so I think it could be a good idea to bring it up then. I have asked if everything was ok between us and he said yes but it’s the fact the change happened around the same time his ex reached out that has me a little worried.
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2019 Posted July 4, 2019 we know each other 3 months and have been dating officially 2. They broke up in February and you met him 5 months ago ....so you met right after his break up. Sounds like you're the girl he entertained himself with to distract himself from the girlfriend moving away. I would not ask a boyfriend of 2 months why he's distant. This early in the game if you're not totally into each other you move on. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2019 Posted July 4, 2019 She can’t cause problems unless he permits it, OP. It doesn’t look good that he’s been more distant since she popped back up. I think he’s reevaluating where his interest truly is, which is not great. You could try talking to him before this BBQ, but you need to be prepared to walk if he gives you a vague response or insists he’s just worried about her and wants to be there for her or some such thing.
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