Interstellar Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I've learned enough that I can tell if he's gonna be a good lover just by behavior on dates. There are always tells Like what? now my interest is piqued.
schlumpy Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 For some people anticipation can add an exciting dimension to the relationship.
Author MusicLova Posted August 25, 2019 Author Posted August 25, 2019 Have you had previous dating experiences? If so, how would they influence you in this decision? Yes, I think it would be better to wait but thats difficult to do in my opinion.
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2019 Posted August 25, 2019 It depends on the person or the person they are dating. Sometimes I was just interested in them physically, and maybe things will go in the direction of exclusivity. If not oh well, onto the next.
scooby-philly Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 Well put it this way... How would you feel if she had sex with someone else the night before, and the night after, having sex with you? If you don't like that thought, don't have sex until exclusive. How do you think she would feel if you had sex with someone else the night before, and the night after, having sex with her? If she would be hurt, don't have sex until after being exclusive. If both of you are OK with the other having sex with others the night before and the night after doing it with each other, then go for it. I'm sorry - but this is the most ridiculous thing I've read on this forum in a few years. A person asking about sex before or after deciding to become "exclusive" with someone does not imply that one or both parties are "seeing" multiple people at the same time. There was a previous comment about STIs (assuming that's British English for STDs) that was also ridiculous. But this one is even worse. Lots of sane, healthy, normal, and non-evil people enjoy sex and can do so inside/out of an "exclusive relationship" and for a lot of those people need to have sex with someone before committing to them because of their personality/sexuality. That doesn't make them better or worse then people who need to wait before getting into it. It just makes them different. Of course, anyone should take their and a partner's (sexual partner) health seriously and be safe. But that does not mean everyone needs to wait. Personally some of the best sex I've had has been outside of an exclusive relationship and I've waited in respect for women who needed to wait - only to find the sex was horrible. OP -you did get a few good responses. The first one was as simple as it gets. It's up to you and a partner to decide. Trust your gut and have discussions when/where appropriate. If you were shamed growing up for enjoying sexuality and you think you could be one of those people that's very sexual but it's repressed - feel free to seek some mental health support - it could be freeing. And if you're just an average person then trust your gut and be safe.
boymommy Posted August 26, 2019 Posted August 26, 2019 I have done it both ways. Before my divorce I always waited until a relationship developed. After my divorce I made some poor choices, had some casual relationships, was willing to engage in fwb. After this I went back to my old way of waiting for sex. Trust me waiting is always better! You may find people less willing to wait but if they cant wait for sex then thats probably what they were most likely after anyway. People who want more then sex in a relationship will always be willing to wait.
Rocker71 Posted August 28, 2019 Posted August 28, 2019 I am a 29 year old male. I am trying to figure out whether I should wait until I am exclusive with someone I am going on dates with to have sex or if I should have sex before becoming exclusive. My questions are: 1. Is it more natural to have sex before becoming exclusive or after? 2. Do you think overall that it is better to have sex before or after becoming exclusive and why? All answers and opinions would be very much appreciated This was something I had to learn when I got on the market again after a ltr. Most women will reject you or friend zone you if you don't try to get intimate on the first couple dates. I found the ones who make you wait for sex don't really like it that much or they Have some type of agenda for you. That's dating in 2019 for ya. These interactions with women are rapidly evolving.
DaddyDom Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 Sex is needed to see if overall compatibility is there IMO. But you have no control over what that other person is doing. You may be having great sex but she could be hooking up with other guys besides you. I say just focus on dates and hot sex keeping it simple. As you spend more and more time together and she drops hints bring it up if you want to be exclusive.
Mysterio Posted August 29, 2019 Posted August 29, 2019 I have seen it both ways. It feels like my friends that waited to have sex before Marriage. Or one couple had sex, but waited till marriage before they lived together. They seem more Rock solid. I know all the ones that waited before Marriage to have Sex. They are still together and rock solid. The ones that lived together before Marriage and had sex. Shaky at best. Taking out marriage. I became exclusive with a woman before I had sex, and even though we broke up. We are still in each others lives. Its hard to say. Does it really make a difference. If have sex before committed BF/GF deal is struck. Will it make a big difference? Stats say it will. Like if I want to be married for the rest of my life. I have to meet a woman that waits it out. So thats being a couple without sex for 2 yrs. Get married and then lots of sex after that? We shall see.
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