JuneL Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 p.s. So his idea of treating you properly is to treat you as his drinking buddy. He’s planning to visit not just one but a few pubs and then clubs. How many pints is he planning to drink? Who is taking him home after that? How did he go home after each binge drinking in the past??
JuneL Posted July 12, 2019 Posted July 12, 2019 This guy is probably quite fat, as the calories from alcohol alone is enough to make him fat.
Ms.Jazzy Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 I would just leave him alone altogether.. I dated an alcoholic a few years ago and it was a nightmare. He eventually got bad to the point where he was stealing money from me and even alcohol out of my cabinet just so he could get his next fix.He would go to pubs and bars late at night and then call me drunk asking for a ride etc. Or get drunk and have one night stands with random women he met at the bar. Not saying this guy will be as bad but keep in mind that alcohol is their number 1 priority and everything else will come last. Once my ex realize I wasn't going to enable him anymore, he eventually dumped me and went back to his alcoholic girlfriend smh. I think you can do better! 1
Beendaredonedat Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 This guy is probably quite fat, as the calories from alcohol alone is enough to make him fat. There are plenty of thin to skinny alcoholics. One size does not fit all nor does it make it "probably." 1
Author LeeWilson85 Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 We met up at 6 pm last night, we went to watch a film at the cinema which was good and then we went to a pub and we played pool together and had a few drinks and then we went to about five or five pubs closer to the city and then we went to the clubs in the city. I'm not entirely sure how many pints he had because I wasn't counting, but easily 15+ pints all night. He paid for me to get a taxi home and on my way home I received a text message from him which said, "I hope you had a good night with me and I can't wait to see you again. Good night, my love. XX" He was quite open with me at the first pub, he told me he began to develop his addiction to alcohol when his first girlfriend left him and his best friend took his own life and then his parents split up, he said that he could not cope with all of it. He told me that eventually it became a habit and that despite drinking a lot these days, he used to drink a lot more a few years ago. He's really reserved so it's sometimes difficult to try and talk personally with him and I didn't want him to think I was quizzing him or having a go at him. Apart from his obvious alcohol addiction, he is such a nice guy and last night made me feel happier than I had in a long long time. He did ask me last night in the cinema whether or not we could become exclusive and start going out together and I said "yes" and he gave me a peck on the lips and told me that he will always be there for me and that he wants a future with me. He's promised that he will get professional help. Is it possible that I am the one thing that could change him for the better? He sent me a text message about an hour ago asking me to meet up with him tomorrow for a walk. Btw, he's not fat, he is slim. He's got a job and is always active and by no means does he have a beer belly or anything like that.
Redhead14 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 99 percent of the time a woman who is dating a heavy drinker is his chauffeur not his girlfriend.
JuneL Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 There are plenty of thin to skinny alcoholics. One size does not fit all nor does it make it "probably." I have an uncle who used to be an alcoholic and was very slim. But this guy consumes up to 3000 calories of beer daily. If he’s not overweight, then his diet can’t contain much else. 1
Art_Critic Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 He's promised that he will get professional help. You need Alanon meetings.. go to some and hopefully you can learn how to love the person and not the Alcoholic.. the problem right now is you don't know the person.. ONLY the Alcoholic... and he won't show you who he is till he is sober Have you not even listened to any of the advice that contradicted what you felt ? Good Luck.. I hope you look into why you are attracted to broken men who have addiction issues, ignoring this many red flags means you have some baggage to deal with yourself. 2
Author LeeWilson85 Posted July 13, 2019 Author Posted July 13, 2019 You need Alanon meetings.. go to some and hopefully you can learn how to love the person and not the Alcoholic.. the problem right now is you don't know the person.. ONLY the Alcoholic... and he won't show you who he is till he is sober Have you not even listened to any of the advice that contradicted what you felt ? Good Luck.. I hope you look into why you are attracted to broken men who have addiction issues, ignoring this many red flags means you have some baggage to deal with yourself. I am listening to what people have said. But, is it possible that I could be the person to make him see his errors and for him to change his ways? I know alcoholics are not exactly viewed positively, but he's such a nice guy.
Maddie82 Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 We met up at 6 pm last night, we went to watch a film at the cinema which was good and then we went to a pub and we played pool together and had a few drinks and then we went to about five or five pubs closer to the city and then we went to the clubs in the city. I'm not entirely sure how many pints he had because I wasn't counting, but easily 15+ pints all night. He paid for me to get a taxi home and on my way home I received a text message from him which said, "I hope you had a good night with me and I can't wait to see you again. Good night, my love. XX" He was quite open with me at the first pub, he told me he began to develop his addiction to alcohol when his first girlfriend left him and his best friend took his own life and then his parents split up, he said that he could not cope with all of it. He told me that eventually it became a habit and that despite drinking a lot these days, he used to drink a lot more a few years ago. He's really reserved so it's sometimes difficult to try and talk personally with him and I didn't want him to think I was quizzing him or having a go at him. Apart from his obvious alcohol addiction, he is such a nice guy and last night made me feel happier than I had in a long long time. He did ask me last night in the cinema whether or not we could become exclusive and start going out together and I said "yes" and he gave me a peck on the lips and told me that he will always be there for me and that he wants a future with me. He's promised that he will get professional help. Is it possible that I am the one thing that could change him for the better? He sent me a text message about an hour ago asking me to meet up with him tomorrow for a walk. Btw, he's not fat, he is slim. He's got a job and is always active and by no means does he have a beer belly or anything like that. Well you're not doing a very good job so far. Going to different pubs and clubs is just ebabling his addiction. He's not showing any signs of stopping either by the looks of it and you haven't helped at all. Maybe suggest NOT going to pubs and clubs on dates. 1
Beendaredonedat Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 Is it possible that I am the one thing that could change him for the better? You really need to go to alanon. Hopefully that will wash the pink out of your glasses and wizen you up. Good luck. I'm out. This thread isn't helping you to see anything past your codependent desire to believe the BS that spews from an alcoholics lips. 1
SoulCat Posted July 13, 2019 Posted July 13, 2019 But, is it possible that I could be the person to make him see his errors and for him to change his ways? Extremely, extremely unlikely. But, you seem to have some sort of Florence Nightingale vision of curing the man so you better prepare and strap in for a very rough ride indeed. Don't say you were not warned. You have had some great advice by folks who have been in relationships with alcoholics, or who like me, had an alcohol dependent parent. Heck, you even got some very valuable insight from 'former' (there's really no such thing) alcoholic Art_Critic. If anything, listen to him! We wouldn't all p*ss on your chips if they weren't on fire. 1
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