summerslam1988 Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 I've been hanging out with a girl that is confusing me. We have a history where I betrayed her. But she decided to give me another chance now, fourteen years later. When we first started talking again, she admitted to still being in love with me but not trusting me. She said I'd have to regain her trust before we could date again. A week or so later, she said she doesn't think she'll ever trust me and we should just be friends. Two weeks later, she sent me a picture of the house she would want if we ever got married. Last night, two days after that, she said she trusts me. She's not scared that I will betray her again if we get together. She can see that I have changed. But she doesn't feel anything towards me but friendship. Anyone else confused?
FMW Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Yes, it's confusing, she was probably confused as well. She likely tried to make it work because she still has feelings for you, but eventually realized things had changed and she couldn't go back. She was able to work through it and get closure.
Beendaredonedat Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Nothing to be confused about. If you want more than another friend then stop hanging out with her and let it fade. She has placed you on the "friend ladder" never to transition to the "potential ladder" Google those two terms and read.
ExpatInItaly Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 My honest guess? She's seeing someone else and wobbles between you and him around when things aren't so sure between them. But you're not her primary desire.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 You betrayed her. She'd be foolish to jump back in right away. She probably really likes you still and wants to trust you, but at the same time she's nervous you could do the same thing to her all over again. I think you should be grateful she's even speaking with you and patiently go at her pace, not yours. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 She's talking herself into dating you. My guess is she really hasn't forgiven you ... she wants to have forgiven you ... When you really forgive someone, you can say it and then carry on. And frankly, there's a bigger problem here. Apparently she is out of touch with her feelings and that never makes for a good dating partner. And skipping ahead and sending you a pic of the kind of house she would want if you got married? Are you kidding me? Can we say immaturity. Can we say naive blindness about relationships. She's focused on how things look from the outside and isn't clear on the basics of whether or not she wants to be with you. She's not reliable, not safe. And frankly, I'm not sure her forgiveness of lack thereof is the issue. She seems just flaky and immature. Skipping ahead ten steps to the kind of house she wants--and sending you such a photo-- that's something a teenager would do, someone completely clueless about what makes for a good relationship. Major trouble. Stay away.
BC1980 Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 I think she is confused and trying to figure out how she feels, but what she is doing isn't conducive to a relationship.
Inspire Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 It sounds like her emotions are in turmoil. It is entirely possible to love someone but not feel as though you can fully trust them with your heart. Time passes, people change and what was once so desirable to us may no longer seem necessary. That is the nature of the beast.
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