smint Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Guys,I don't know about you,do you use dating apps,but tinder made me even more depressive.I am not depressive,I mean even more disappointed. I had no idea how men are frustrated. When I match with someone I am immediately asked about sending photos,send me photo staring in camera,from profile,full body?!?!?!?And when I say I don't want I get respond back that I am weirdo and closed minded,they delete me on both tinder and whatsapp. I heard happy stories from tinder and wanted to try it,but so far it is by default with these photos. Also I was texting with 2 decent men,and when we had to meet,they would just ignore me and stop responding.So what is the point?!?!?!?!?! And in real life I don't know where else to meet someone,noone talks to noone.
ChatroomHero Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 As far as meeting in real life, no one talks to no one, that's really on you. Because you would be one of the no ones in your equation. If you approach and say hi to a guy you are interested in, I'd bet 90% of the people you meet would be friendly, flattered at least and talk to you. If you're not willing to approach someone in public and strike up a conversation, you probably shouldn't expect someone else to do that. If you want to meet people, you have to make an effort to actually meet them. 2
Highndry Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 You're on a hook-up site where people go for casual sex and you're taken aback because guys want to see your body? That's a real head-scratcher. 3
CLS63AMG Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 If they are asking for all the extra pictures its because you don't have enough on there. I hate womens profiles that are only head shots or they are hiding behind other people etc. All this tells me is she is hiding something, so why would I waste my time meeting someone like that? Post recent real photos, no filters and full body. Only then can you complain. 1
Beendaredonedat Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Maybe you should get off of Tinder because it's mostly for hook up sex and not much more. Join a reputable site, post a few nice pics of yourself showing all of you and restrict your settings so that you're not getting hit on by men too far away to be able to nurture a proper relationship and are too old or to young. If you are serious in meeting good men then you must be serious in your profile and intentions as well. 1
Author smint Posted July 1, 2019 Author Posted July 1, 2019 Dear Beendaredonedat, Can you recommend me reputable site for dating?I am quite new in Tinder.I put decent photos,and yes I am looking for serious good man to date.Not all these bastards. I heard happy stories from Tinder,that is why I gave it a try.
The Outlaw Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Try ditching online dating for awhile and try to meet someone through mutual friends, that's the best way and you have a far better idea of what you're going to get. Online dating is easy, but it's become far too much of a headache to even deal with.
Beendaredonedat Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Dear Beendaredonedat, Can you recommend me reputable site for dating?I am quite new in Tinder.I put decent photos,and yes I am looking for serious good man to date.Not all these bastards. I heard happy stories from Tinder,that is why I gave it a try. Have you tried OkCupid or Match.com?
Calmandfocused Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Im not sure where you live but Tinder in the uk is more of a “dating” app and is certainly an educational experience (I learnt about ghosting here which I’d never experienced in my life until I ventured into Tinder territory) You don’t get the pervs and the flashers necessarily. However it’s certainly a playground for married people, people fresh out of relationships and heartbroken, couples looking for threesomes and mental health problems. It’s certainly a lot of fun for sure. Just be careful is my advice. I got a boyfriend from tinder who is now an ex.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Guys,I don't know about you,do you use dating apps,but tinder made me even more depressive.I am not depressive,I mean even more disappointed. I had no idea how men are frustrated. When I match with someone I am immediately asked about sending photos,send me photo staring in camera,from profile,full body?!?!?!?And when I say I don't want I get respond back that I am weirdo and closed minded,they delete me on both tinder and whatsapp. I heard happy stories from tinder and wanted to try it,but so far it is by default with these photos. Also I was texting with 2 decent men,and when we had to meet,they would just ignore me and stop responding.So what is the point?!?!?!?!?! And in real life I don't know where else to meet someone,noone talks to noone. Don't take this personally. When I did tinder, guys would message me really explicit stuff (wanting a bj, asking for nudes etc). I'm not into hookups, so I didn't take that crap, they did the same thing to me. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 I'm a pretty confident person. I never had trouble meeting men IRL. I tried OLD years ago. I lasted a whooping 90 days. It was soooooo demoralizing. IMO opinion OLD (including phone based apps) are NOT for the faint of heart. You have to assume everybody wants to hook up only, has multiple psychological issues & will flake. If you are willing to wade through that morass you may find the gem but how dirty will you get on your search? 3
Author smint Posted July 1, 2019 Author Posted July 1, 2019 Yes exactly,they are also writing me explicit stuff.I don't take it personally,but it is scary how many people with issues and on photos they look normal. I tried okcupid,bumble,and for match.com I haven't heard.It is all same profile of people more or less. I think I will quit with apps. In real life I see the most people from work and I somehow want to exit those circles,but I don't know how.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 Yes exactly,they are also writing me explicit stuff.I don't take it personally,but it is scary how many people with issues and on photos they look normal. I tried okcupid,bumble,and for match.com I haven't heard.It is all same profile of people more or less. I think I will quit with apps. In real life I see the most people from work and I somehow want to exit those circles,but I don't know how. Don't quit. I met my SO online and know many people who also met their partners online. Stick w/it and let the bad stuff roll off your shoulders. At 1st I was a bit horrified, but eventually I got desensitized and laughed that stuff off. You just/delete them, no biggie.
Logo Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 If you are going to use OLD, to keep your sanity approach it as you would a board game. Don't take it too seriously and don't let it become a distraction. Dedicate 30 minutes or less each day to OLD. It's just a game. And when you think you've found the one, have a phone conversation first. If it's a good conversation and your gut is telling you yes, then go and meet up. I have used OLD and it was a disappointment. Join a hobby group or whatever you enjoy doing in your spare time and find real people to connect with. I am reminded again and again that nothing in life comes easy. If I want something, I'm going to have to put in the effort and leg work to get it. And I'm doing just that. With that in mind, it doesn't mean that everyone in real life isn't going to be a flake or have some type of issue. I have dealt with those too in real life. Caveat Emptor.
PRW Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 In real life I see the most people from work and I somehow want to exit those circles,but I don't know how.Get a social life that isn't work related, and isn't "online". Create an account on Meetup.com (not a dating site) and find Meetup Groups in your area. There may even be one or more for Singles. The groups will post activities,...join the group and got to the activities. I'm a member of multiple groups on Meetup.com and the one Singles group I am in has 4,429 members (as of yesterday).
stillafool Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 Don't you have some old friends from school you can go out with to meet guys? It is better to meet guys in real life than to mess around on hook up sites where they make it clear they only want sex.
d0nnivain Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 Add some real life activities into the mix to meet people.
Author smint Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 Hello guys.I woke up today with massage on tinder stating"Hi,are you about hook ups":lmao::lmao: Thank you for support,yes,I should not take it serious,there are many weirdos and it is good idea to first talk on the phone. I live in Dubai and I am christian.I would love to meet christian too. I check meetups,and I see people attending,very little Europeans.Common friends are colleagues as I said.And also here people work a lot and it is too busy.There are brunches where Europeans come,but just to get drunk.
d0nnivain Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Try getting more involved in your Church to meet religiously like minded folks.
MaleIntuition Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Getting drunk during brunch in Dubai? I’m learning new things everyday...
kendahke Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 . Also I was texting with 2 decent men,and when we had to meet,they would just ignore me and stop responding.So what is the point?!?!?!?!?! And in real life I don't know where else to meet someone,noone talks to noone. It's really easy to fall into the "oh why bother?" mindset, especially when it comes to online apps such as Tinder. (There's a really good thread downstream--but recent--on the "why bother?" mindset) With apps and texting, you haven't really engaged anything but your mind and your fingers, whereas in person, you can gauge demeanor, body language, impressions, that sort of intangible thing that you can't divine through an electronic device. Interestingly, the site where I've seen more success for women in their 30-late 40's is Match. IME, +50, not so much--you're chum for the scammers. As far as the crazy requests for pics, etc., those idiots are looking for a booty call, not a relationship. It's good they play themselves out early so you can dismiss them and be on about your way. It's hard to say, but if you have to be in a certain location for a particular length of time, you stand a greater chance of meeting someone--class, activity, interests and as loathe as I am to list it, work. I'd make work my totally last resort for a mate, if at all possible.
Author smint Posted July 21, 2019 Author Posted July 21, 2019 Guys,you are totally right about everything. I went to another date and it was disappointment.Guy didn't stop talking about his work and issues in office,and at the end he let me pay the whole amount of bill!?!?!?!?!?I drank one lemonade and he had one wine. Then by the time I reached home,he unmatched me from Tinder.What to say, really if I don't meet someone in real life, I am willing to stay single forever, then to waste more time with blind dates.
SophieG Posted July 21, 2019 Posted July 21, 2019 I guess sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I went on 4 Tinder dates, 3 of them were really nice and I had at least a second date. The 4th one, we just didn't click. I met my boyfriend on Tinder and we've been together more than a year. Although I never had any problems or disappointments, a lot of my friends had bad experiences with it.
spiderowl Posted July 21, 2019 Posted July 21, 2019 Tinder is well known as a hook-up site. I'm not a young woman any more but if I was I would avoid it like the plague. A lot of the guys are looking for a hook-up and nothing more. Guys looking for sex like to see pictures of the 'goods' so that's what they are asking for. I don't agree with this and I feel women debase themselves by sending pictures on demand, but it's up to the women concerned. If you can get out to social events in real life, they are often better, but you need to talk to people to make connections. I know it can be hard if you are shy. It is best to find an event or group where you have something in common with people, like a music group or something. A dating site might be better, but you still have the same thing going on there where guys are looking for a hook-up or someone to pander to their fetish. You need to get good at filtering out the hook-up guys and weirdos. Basically, if you feel uncomfortable with what they are saying or asking, then pay attention to that feeling. Do not give out your surname, address, or place of work.
DrNo1962 Posted July 21, 2019 Posted July 21, 2019 Guys,you are totally right about everything. I went to another date and it was disappointment.Guy didn't stop talking about his work and issues in office,and at the end he let me pay the whole amount of bill!?!?!?!?!?I drank one lemonade and he had one wine. Then by the time I reached home,he unmatched me from Tinder.What to say, really if I don't meet someone in real life, I am willing to stay single forever, then to waste more time with blind dates. Sounds like it's time to make a list. 5 qualities you must have in a potential match and 5 you won't accept. Internalise these qualities and create a set of boundaries around them. You should be screening for these qualities early on so that you don't go on any more dud dates.
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