lax16 Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Two questions here. 1) Has your significant other/your relationship ever made you feel contained/held down? If so, what was going on that made you feel that way? 2) Have you ever felt like your partners happiness was/is dependent on you? If so, what was happening that made you feel that way? In either scenario, what did you do about it? Did you try to talk to your partner about it? Imply you were feeling a certain way? Did the issue get resolved?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Yes, to both questions. And it was with the same ex. He was dreadfully insecure and didn't want me doing much of anything without him; we also very different life goals, in the end, and didn't want the same things. If I spent time on other things outside the relationship (socializing with friends, hobbies) he would pout. But when I invited him to join, or do things with just the two of us, he generally declined and moped around. I felt like he just wanted me to like and do the same things he did, without considering the fact that I had other interests too. We eventually broke up. The incompatibility was too much to overcome.
Author lax16 Posted July 1, 2019 Author Posted July 1, 2019 Yes, to both questions. And it was with the same ex. He was dreadfully insecure and didn't want me doing much of anything without him; we also very different life goals, in the end, and didn't want the same things. If I spent time on other things outside the relationship (socializing with friends, hobbies) he would pout. But when I invited him to join, or do things with just the two of us, he generally declined and moped around. I felt like he just wanted me to like and do the same things he did, without considering the fact that I had other interests too. We eventually broke up. The incompatibility was too much to overcome. Did you ever try to talk to him about how that was making you feel? Why did you feel your life goals were so different to the point the relationship could not continue?
ExpatInItaly Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Yes, I did try to talk it out. A number of times. Nothing really ever changed; he still pouted when I spent time without him. And our life goals were fundamentally too different. I wanted to travel and pursue higher education and see the world outside our hometown. He wanted to buy a house, get married, have kids. You can't really compromise on things as serious as that. Two decades later, I absolutely can confirm that we made the right choice breaking up. I live abroad, have a lovely partner, travel frequently, no desire to have kids. He, on the other hand, did settle in our hometown and is now married with children. We were really not right for each other, as life partners.
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