Author Curiousroxy86 Posted July 1, 2019 Author Posted July 1, 2019 Have you ever done that? Create a list of the features of your exes and determined what common features were there? You might find there are things there... Do they all have beards? Were they all white? Were they all tall? skinny? muscular? Blonde hair? etc... There are commonalities but the guys I passed by had the same things...and I am not opposed to different from what my exes look like as long as I find them attractive lol. Like I genuinely find guys of many races, skin colors, eye colors, and hair colors handsome. Like Donald Glover, Hyun bin, kit Harrington, domhnell gleeson, and Chris prat (even when he was pudgy) could get it Just can’t be deathly skinny or deathly obesed One thing I can pin point that I find unattractive is voices lol. Thick foreign accents to the point that I can’t undsdsfand? I can’t. Or doesn’t sound masculine I can’t. Or sounds extremely ignorant I can’t. But that wasn’t even the issue for the non ugly guys I didn’t find attractive *shrugs*. I don’t know. I just don’t like when that happens lol. Oh well.
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted July 1, 2019 Author Posted July 1, 2019 However, it’s quite likely that you Are attracted to certain real personality traits such as openness, emotional stability (low neuroticism) or extraversion. Everyone can be generous and show interest. I don’t think your standards are too high - I think they are, in a sense, too low. I think your rules are somewhat random and evidently so are your results. My advice is to go back to the drawing board; read up on some personality theory (jungian typology is fun). Figure out what values you find most important. What kind of humour? Do you think intelligence is sexy? Etc. In short try to figure out what you really find attractive and why! I will admit I look at the qualities off of actions over time. For example I determine a guy is consistent and interested because he calls regularly/asks me out regularly/spends time regularly, I determine a guy is generous because he is giving to me, his family, his friends, and people in need. Those are just basics. That’s not the only thing I would look at. And of course overtime you tend to find out other things about a person in which you determine more qualities that’s either attractive or unattractive. I don’t really know how I would perceive ones qualities in any other type of way besides their actions over time but I mean it doesn’t hurt to take look at a master list of qualities anyway. It might very well provide answers as to why I wasn’t attracted to those guys I refer to in this post.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 Don't feel bad. I think when we are single and we want someone, we try to have someone fill that role. We feel bad when we don't like the that great person. This has happened to me where I've met nice guys, I just wasn't into them. A lot more goes into attraction then looks. 1
TheFinalWord Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 One thing I can pin point that I find unattractive is voices lol. Or doesn’t sound masculine I can’t. \. I don’t know. I just don’t like when that happens lol. Oh well. I do know. The last girl I dated said she basically dated me because of my voice I do like feminine voices, but it's not a deal breaker for me. Buuttt, I'll admit I dated one girl because she basically triggered ASMR in me. This was before it was popular online and there was no name for it. I would call after a stressful day and tell her to just talk to me Weird, huh?
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted July 2, 2019 Author Posted July 2, 2019 yea I just do not get the hype of ASMR lol
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 2, 2019 Posted July 2, 2019 yea I just do not get the hype of ASMR lol You and I could never be friends in real life, then! (I love it) 1
Author Curiousroxy86 Posted July 8, 2019 Author Posted July 8, 2019 That is most certainly true with initial attraction when you don't know them (like looking at a picture). But the attraction can be either boosted or ruined later. I have spent a lot of time trying to study exactly what you are talking about. My conclusion, which is supported by a lot of sources, is that a large part of the woman's attraction comes from the guy's behavor (which includes confidence, fearlessness, and similar things) and it occurs at a subconscious primal level rather than on the surface. The good looks gets the guy's foot in the door but it is his behavor that keeps him there. So there would have to be something in their behavor that is triggering a primal negative response in you. I don't know what specifically it would be,...but it is there. Prw thank you. I think your right concerning it’s something subconscious which is funny I say all the time that there are certain behaviors women do that turns men off subconsciously that the guy alot of times can’t put their fingers on it...but I never thought to flip that around in my case when I am not attracted to a guy and can’t put my finger on why 1
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