Carlotte Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Hello All, One month ago I wrote to one guy on a dating site. He lives in different city (3h away from mine) but I really liked his profile and his city is closer to my hometown so perhaps I could move there one day if it was worth it. It turned out that till the end of the year he lives in another country and he's not coming back to his hometown often. We are texting every day (it's never intense, it's just a message here and there but he keeps the conversation going), he said he would like to visit my city as he's never been there but there is nothing specific. We never met. Also we are both quite shy. Do you think it makes sense to carry on? I am afraid he may talk to me because he is bored or lonely in another country but does not plan to see me ever.. Could it even work?
Ami1uwant Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Him saying he’s not coming back to his hometown gives me the impression this is fake. On online dating sites I come across peop,e who’s profile says A in the USA but they are outside the country now because things like visa expiring. Others were truly fakes.
mortensorchid Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 I really don't get why people get into LDRs. True, this is kind of an experience that we all have in some shape or form, but having been in 2 in my lifetime and seeing the mistakes I and others made in them, this is what I have to say about them: If you are not seeing each other at least once a month, you tend to do a lot of fantasizing. When you are together, you tend to be in this great rush to have sex, which ends up feeding the fantasy even further. When the time comes to take it to the next level requires one to move to he with the other. And if you move to be with that person, you better hope that this person will take that seriously. If they don't? You're in trouble. It sounds like from your description of events it's early in the relationship. It's also not based on your meeting one another face to face at this point. Don't be too disappointed if one day you don't hear from him again. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 I wouldn't bother with this, no. It is unlikely to go anywhere.
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 Who knows if it would work? Right now there are too many ifs & maybes to consider anything long term. If he happens to be in your City & you have nothing else to do it wouldn't hurt to meet him. What have you got to lose? Nothing is real until you meet in person so it's not like this is a relationship at this point. You should not count on this working out to the point where either of you is moving. You both need to be talking to other people & going on local dates more conventionally. This is too spurious to bank on at this early point with all the distance & other problems. Do not think you love each other or any similar delusion. You don't even know each other.
Author Carlotte Posted June 30, 2019 Author Posted June 30, 2019 Who knows if it would work? Right now there are too many ifs & maybes to consider anything long term. If he happens to be in your City & you have nothing else to do it wouldn't hurt to meet him. What have you got to lose? Nothing is real until you meet in person so it's not like this is a relationship at this point. You should not count on this working out to the point where either of you is moving. You both need to be talking to other people & going on local dates more conventionally. This is too spurious to bank on at this early point with all the distance & other problems. Do not think you love each other or any similar delusion. You don't even know each other. Of course, I am not in love and I do not think we are in relationship. I am just wondering if something like that could possibly work out. We have a lot of things in common, we share a lot of values and I cannot meet someone like that in the city I live in at the moment.
Britney25 Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 I say try it. If he can come to you why not meet. Just be aware that there might not be any chemistry in person. Good luck!
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2019 Posted July 1, 2019 Of course, I am not in love and I do not think we are in relationship. I am just wondering if something like that could possibly work out. Of course it could possibly work out. But you could possibly win the lottery or get hit by a lightening. Possible is not probable. Until you actually meet in person it is unlikely that things will work out. How long are you willing to wait to get to meet him in person? I would not be comfortable putting my life on hold for "IF" for over a year. I see too many people who "fall in love" when all they have is this spurious OL connection. If you can avoid that, you will be ahead of the game.
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