TD55 Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Okay, I just got out of a relationship about a month ago, and I don't think I am looking for a rebound or anything since I am totally over with my ex. However, I could be just alittle lonely in a new city that I am living in. I started dating this guy I've known for 2 months like couple of weeks ago...and things are good, except that, he seems very uptight most of the time....even when i first met him he was like that...he said he likes me alot when he first met me, but i had a bf, and I wasn't really interest in anybody else anyway...so we're dating for about alittle over a week, and when he's relax and happy, then things are fine, but lots of time, he would be so quiet when i say something, and it's like he thinks about stuff and yet he doesn't say, i know he's thinking, but it's almost as if he has this huge wall all around him, more and more I feel uncomfortable, I dont' know how to describe this properly, I've never met any guy like that. I Feel that I can connect with him in that way though because I tend to think alot too, life etc, and so does he, so we have very good conversation about things like that. But he is always so serious, and I am a very opened up person, and it bothers me sometimes, when he's not really talking. Does this make sense? has anyone have this experience with a guy or a girl who just seems so....close up in themseleves, almost as if they're living in their own little head sometimes. But he's not weird or anything, he's fun to be around with when he's not "in the square mode". But I guess whenever he is, it makes me tense up too, I just want to know, if I should just ignore that? how do I go about talking to him and trying to open him up? or should I Just not even try to open up with him?
noclobber Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 please provide more info.. when u say that he is very uptight what exactly do u mean? like he is not feeling very comfortable with u? u also mention that u were not interested as u had a boyfriend then. that could also be the reason.. u got to be clear what u want out of the relationship with the new guy. men cannot read minds, especially women's minds
The Quiet One Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 Is the guy shy? Is it just his personality. Telling him to open up won't solve the problem. Maybe he thinks he is open. Maybe give him more time.
Gabby Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 I´ve gotta say...you sound just like my boyfriend. I´m pretty quiet and I think a lot, too. It´s really hard for me to open up sometimes, not sure why, must be a past thing. Well, because I don´t talk a lot and he talks waayyyy too much he complains about it so we´ve been having little fights. I think it´s just part of his personality like it is in my case. Try to be more understanding, nobody needs to be like anybody else, if you really like him you will at least accept the way he is. Also, you need to ask for a little understanding from him. Explain to him that you aren´t used to situations like that. Ask that he explain his feelings and thoughts. For example, my boyfriend asks me "what are you thinkning?" I would just sort of say "nothing"...well, we all know that it isn´t nothing, push him a little to talk more, but don´t push too hard, ´cause you might upset him. You have to tell him that talking about random stuff and expressing feelings is part of a relationship and that he should feel more confortable with you...that nothing he says will be used against him. I´m horrible at helping people, sorry. Good luck!
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