an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Been on 3 dates with a girl since the start of the month when we started talking. She set up the second date before I got a chance and actually paid for dinner. I set up the 3rd but she had to postpone due to work. But she kept her word and we met on the alternative date she gave. There was a lot of kissing on the 3rd date but no sex as we were both far from home. We have a 4th date next week She always arrives on time and is very talkative. Thing is in between dates often she seems un interested. I've use txt mainly to set the next dates but sometimes she will ignore my messages for hours even though she is on line on what's app. She has messaged a couple of times just to ask how my day is going but usually only get 2 messages and she stops talking. It's just her messaging habit that give off a vibe that she doesn't care. But sometimes she has been chaty and very sexual. But often I wait hours for replies even though she's online all the time. I have not acted needy I have not sent another message when she ignores the first. I've been confident in asking for dates and going in for the kiss which she likes. I'm just used to girls starting to show a bit more interest over message if they genuinely fancy me. Any thoughts?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Is she a busy person? She might just not have as much free time as you do to text a lot.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2019 Author Posted June 29, 2019 I'm sure she is busy but she is online a lot! Just to be clear I've not blown up here phone, I've tried to mirror the level of messaging she does. Also the night before date 3 she messaged to say she was looking forward to it.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 If she's active on a chat/text program and not replying to you much, yes, I think it's fair to take that as a sign of lukewarm interest. She could be looking for the biggest, best deal, not convinced you're that. If she were, she'd give you her undivided attention and be highly responsive.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 29, 2019 Author Posted June 29, 2019 If date 4 goes ahead i will back off a bit see if she will setup date 5 since ive set up 3 and 4
preraph Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Younger girls text more and once someone is working and pretty busy and not a teenager anymore they sometimes just don't want to engage in all that back and forth texting. It really doesn't mean much except they are not a big texter. I mean, I would dread to get something like that started, someone who expected me to keep up a running text conversation. Save your talking for when you're on a date or else what are you going to have new to talk about? She's not answering back right away either because she's busy (she could just be signed in but not really looking at instagram or other social media just like I could be signed in here but not really be reading here). She is waiting to reply because she doesn't want to be expected to keep chatting for no reason. It's hugely boring and defeats getting to know each other in person.
spiderowl Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 Yes, I can see where you are coming from here. I have had similar experiences and ended feeling annoyed about the lack of texting or late messages. It did actually affect the relationship. Problem is, if you talk to her about the texting, she's going to get worried it is getting too serious too soon. I know that's not fair because she is the one whose texting is erratic. I guess it is possible to look as if you are online when you are not? I'm afraid I don't know enough about the tech to answer that but someone else will. She is keeping to dates and showing interest. That's a good sign. I think you could ask her if she gets your texts ok because you don't hear back for a while.
alphamale Posted June 29, 2019 Posted June 29, 2019 put more weight on what she does versus what she says
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 There are people who don't communicate very much between dates. Most likely she's busy and makes time when she can, hence the hot/cold. Anywho, if she keeps saying yes to dates, she's interested...that's a no brainer.
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 If date 4 goes ahead i will back off a bit see if she will setup date 5 since ive set up 3 and 4 That could blow up in your face....she might think you are no longer interested or met someone else. It's best to communicate your interest, and say you would like to see her again...then let her make a suggestion for the next date. Don't start testing her...you wouldn't like that if a woman did that to you right?
The Outlaw Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 She's probably just busy and some people aren't really too into texting. That really doesn't mean anything unless you aren't getting any responses at all. But if you're getting positive vibes from her on the dates, I'd say you really don't have anything to worry about. But if she becomes less talkative, disinterested or acts like she just doesn't want to be there, move on. Trust me, you'll know. 1
Author an0nym0us123 Posted July 3, 2019 Author Posted July 3, 2019 Thanks for the replies. It's just a vibe I am picking up from her messaging that is making me feel like this but it's not something I will mention. Okay I won't test her I will keep showing interest but I wish she would show just a smidgen more interest back. Anyway date 4 went well last night. Ended back at her place. It was her time of the month so no sex but plenty messing about in bed. Not heard from her today though. I'll give her a couple of days to see if she will initiate. I don't think she is actively dating anyone else but I may be wrong. I'm sure she is talking to plenty. She works a lot of nights. On date 2 I asked her second name as I didn't know. I told her mine and she said she was going to creep my facebook. I said I was too jokingly. So when I scrolled down to 2017 I saw pictures of her ex. Not that that is an issue. But when I looked again a week later they have all been taken down or hidden. She has been single for nearly a year so not sure why she has done this now?
ChatroomHero Posted July 3, 2019 Posted July 3, 2019 Stop overthinking it. 2 texts a day is fine. I hate being bogged down by long text conversations myself, you can dump and hour to say 10 minutes worth of conversation. As for the pictures, maybe she saw them and decided she had moved on an took them down. It probably wasn't a huge priority in her mind and said, hmmm, I am dating now, prob not good to have those on FB. I think you are overthinking it. I bet if you were so busy at work for the next two weeks you didn't see the light of day, you wouldn't notice how much or how little she texts and you wouldn't get a feeling about it in any way. When your mind has freedom to dwell on things, you tend to overthink and react to the overthinking. When you are busy and occupied, you roll with it and are chill. You need to just roll with it and worry about the dates and not really the in-between days.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted July 4, 2019 Author Posted July 4, 2019 There's not 2 texts per day. Most days we don't talk. Occasionally she will initiate and ask how my day was. There will be a couple of messages back and fore and she will just stop responding. Sometimes I will send a message and she will take ages to even read it despite being "online" numerous times. She is busy but I am working more hours than her.
LauraXX Posted July 4, 2019 Posted July 4, 2019 Sounds like completely normal (texting) behavior to me
Maddie82 Posted July 4, 2019 Posted July 4, 2019 I have a habit of leaving my WhatsApp open on my phone and forgetting about it. This could very much be the case with her. She hasn't shown any sign that she is not interested so i think this is just some insecurities running wild in your head. Let it go.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 So I messaged her yesterday to work out our 5th date. She had been away for a few days so I asked how her weekend was A while later she replied and said it had all been very scary and "wasn't in the right place for any of this" She was pretty to the point with her message so I just asked did she want me to disappear. She replied yes. I said I was gutted but understand Then she sent another message complaining that I hadn't even asked was she okay and what had happened. She said some guy attacked her" So I replied and said I was really sorry and that I didn't want to ask details. But I asked her is she was okay. She never replied. A few hours later I sent one last message saying sorry for not asking if she was ok but I was harassed at the particular point in time. Told her I really cared for her and hoped she would get over it and wished her the best. She read it but never replied. So that is the end of that.
schlumpy Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Is this what dating is like today? I thought I was reading a manual on how to insert the batteries in my remote controller. From my ancient dating perspective I think she is managing you along with some other prospects. Quit being wowed at her willingness to set up a dinner and pay for it. Look instead to her eagerness to be with and see you again. In my opinion she has you in a holding pattern circling the airport awaiting permission to land but it may be just as likely you will have to divert to a new destination. Oh, and watch out for the other air traffic while you're circling. I read recently about the new "teledildonic suits" that will enable internet users for a fee of course, have physical relations while being thousands of miles away from one another. And everyone is worried about global warming. Best Wishes
Author an0nym0us123 Posted July 9, 2019 Author Posted July 9, 2019 Yes I suspect I was in a holding pattern although she seemed keen at times. My gut told me she was Luke warm. Anyway whether her story is true or not I will never know. Surprised she complained about me not asking what happened after telling me where to go. Guess she wanted some sort of validation
Bobbyb82 Posted July 9, 2019 Posted July 9, 2019 Yes I suspect I was in a holding pattern although she seemed keen at times. My gut told me she was Luke warm. Anyway whether her story is true or not I will never know. Surprised she complained about me not asking what happened after telling me where to go. Guess she wanted some sort of validation No... I don't think that's what happened. You should have messaged her after making out with her instead of letting her wait for a few days. She probably thought you weren't interested there.. and not asking if she was ok after she said she was attacked probably sealed it. You over thought the situation, I tend to do that as well, I just normally am able to not act on it.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted July 11, 2019 Author Posted July 11, 2019 Wrong. After the last date i messaged her when i got home and said i had a good time. And she blew me off before i asked if she was okay. She wasnt interested. The lack of messaging from her showed this.
Recommended Posts