Did I call it off too soon?

[basil67]

If she can't handle a break then we aren't meant to be together.

 

It's not about her not being able to handle a break. It's about her not wanting the kind boyfriend who asks for breaks. To be clear, asking for a break doesn't happen when things are good, so what's the point in her waiting around for you to do whatever it is you need on a break?

Edited June 30, 2019 by basil67

[dateme]

Well the it's over. Probably for the best.

[ExpatInItaly]

If she can't handle a break then we aren't meant to be together.

 

At the risk of being blunt, you need to grow up, man.

 

Most women are not going to stick around for this kind of attitude. You can be self-righteous and sanctimonious if you choose, but you will be single for a long time. Your call.

[BaileyB]

Obviously if I blocked her then I'm over it. She's childish to get an attitude about it.

 

She responded appropriately to your childish actions.

 

Again, sorry to be blunt... but if you can’t deal with stress without overreacting, ditching your girlfriend and blocking her... then you are not ready for a girlfriend. Your behavior was selfish and immature, and it showed poor communication skills.

[dateme]

She responded appropriately to your childish actions.

 

Again, sorry to be blunt... but if you can’t deal with stress without overreacting, ditching your girlfriend and blocking her... then you are not ready for a girlfriend. Your behavior was selfish and immature, and it showed poor communication skills.

 

She's not my girlfriend. Problem was she seemed to want to be even after I shared we're friends and she could date around. Then she increased the contact. So I felt we needed a break. We're supposed to be good friends. If that made her so upset then oh well.

[BaileyB]

I stand by my original point. Not to be unkind, but you have some maturing to do before you are ready for a serious relationship... This girl apparently knows this now and has decided to do what I would do, steer clear...

[dateme]

I stand by my original point. Not to be unkind, but you have some maturing to do before you are ready for a serious relationship... This girl apparently knows this now and has decided to do what I would do, steer clear...

 

Well she hit me up this morning. She said I screwed up. I told her if she's mad then she should move on. I'm not arguing. She then said she's no longer mad at me. But I broke her trust. I apologized to her. Then we both had to get to work. So I guess we'll talk later tonight.

[LoverOfDance]

Smh, this sounds like a mess. She doesn't trust herself/her judgement. This is likely why she came back.

 

You on the other hand, you have a lot to learn about maturity. Good luck to you both.

[dateme]

Smh, this sounds like a mess. She doesn't trust herself/her judgement. This is likely why she came back.

 

You on the other hand, you have a lot to learn about maturity. Good luck to you both.

 

Somethings not right with her. Which is why I wanted a break.

[ExpatInItaly]

Somethings not right with her. Which is why I wanted a break.

 

So why don't you just call it off completely?

 

My strong impression is that you play these games to get women to chase you.

[basil67]

Somethings not right with her. Which is why I wanted a break.

 

If something wasn't right with her, why string her along with a break? A breakup would have been the right choice.

[olivetree]

She's not your "friend".

You were having sex with her.

Taking a two week break from talking is a good way to lose someone (someone with any sense anyway).

You could have said you'd be busy the next two weeks with work and couldn't talk as much as usual.

 

I think you tend to be avoidant with people, OP.

Look up avoidant attachment and see if it strikes a bell.

[40somethingGuy]

I said we get together when we're both free. The sex is great. We just are busy. I was starting to like her but she just made me mad.

 

 

So you let emotion screw up a good thing. You should have just ignored the texts until you had a moment. No one said you had to respond immediately.

[Flame Aura]

OP you come across very immature in your posts, and you have some serious issues. I think she is better off without you.

[surferchic]

You blocked her so you have given her no chance to contact you when she is ready anyway. You asked for space, so this comes across as overly dramatic on your part.

 

If you can't handle things happening on someone else's schedule without overreacting then you probably aren't ready for a healthy relationship. Perhaps you just have too much going on right now or maybe there has been way too much texting, which has set unreasonable expectations on both your time.

 

Unblock her and just give her two weeks space, like you agreed to.

 

Yes at everything in this post.

 

I’m not sure if or when this type of knee jerk reaction will ever stop between people in romantic /zesting relationships. The blocking allows us to not feel the hurt of knowing they haven’t tried to reach out to us. But at the same time it’s ridiculous for you OP, to block her when you clearly told her 2 weeks.

 

OP I’m curious, what were you thinking telling someone that you needed a break for 2 weeks anyway. What type of response did you expect?

[BaileyB]

She's not your "friend".

You were having sex with her.

You could have said you'd be busy the next two weeks with work and couldn't talk as much as usual.

 

I think you tend to be avoidant with people, OP.

 

I agree. There were clearly more mature and more respectful ways to handle the situation if you felt she was being too demanding of your time/you needed some space.

 

You do seem to be avoidant with people - keeping them at a safe distance (having sex with these women but not becoming emotionally invested). I would also agree that you seem to like the ego stroke of having a woman come to you/chase you. Both smack of insecurity and immaturity.

[dateme]

Yes at everything in this post.

 

I’m not sure if or when this type of knee jerk reaction will ever stop between people in romantic /zesting relationships. The blocking allows us to not feel the hurt of knowing they haven’t tried to reach out to us. But at the same time it’s ridiculous for you OP, to block her when you clearly told her 2 weeks.

 

OP I’m curious, what were you thinking telling someone that you needed a break for 2 weeks anyway. What type of response did you expect?

 

We've been talking all week. She said she wasn't mad at me anymore. Then after a couple of days we got into it. I told her I'm not arguing anymore and it's obvious we aren't compatible. And wished her well. Then I blocked her again. This time for good. I feel we just aren't compatible. So I'm over it now. My fears from before were confirmed. So on to the next thing for both of us.