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Did I call it off too soon?

dateme

By dateme
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dateme Established Member

dateme

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I've been talking to a girl for 2 months. We have a great time. We normally text at least 3 times a day when we're both busy and have several hours of texting when we're free. We both work out of town a lot so when we our schedules work out we get together. But it's been 80% texting. Sometimes she texts when I'm super busy and I tell her when I'm busy all day. I respect her when she has a busy day. This last time I was really mad and told her we I have deadlines to meet and that we need a break for maybe 2 weeks. She told me she was sorry and that since I wanted space she'll grant my wish. Then later that day I apologized and told her I was wrong. I told her I missed her the next day and she still hasn't responded. It's been 5 days and I blocked her. No need to play games or have any hard feelings. If she's hurt or done then no need to be arguing or trying to do an intense make up. My friends told me she is probably mad and will contact after 2 weeks. And now I pulled the plug too soon.

emeraldgreen Established Member

emeraldgreen

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It's not practical to be texting for several hours a day for two months with someone you're not boning (and even then, who does that?), so real life (your workload) was bound to kick in at some point. You were probably a bit push and pull and "I need 2 weeks off" to a girl puts her in a low priority category. The switch was too dramatic and this is due to too much talk for too long a time beforehand. You'd created an unsustainable habit of too much chatter.

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Scarlett.O'hara Established Member

Scarlett.O'hara

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You blocked her so you have given her no chance to contact you when she is ready anyway. You asked for space, so this comes across as overly dramatic on your part.

 

If you can't handle things happening on someone else's schedule without overreacting then you probably aren't ready for a healthy relationship. Perhaps you just have too much going on right now or maybe there has been way too much texting, which has set unreasonable expectations on both your time.

 

Unblock her and just give her two weeks space, like you agreed to.

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salparadise Established Member

salparadise

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Sounds like to me that she's done. I can't say I blame her. Surely you didn't think that was going to go over well did you? Did you think the hook was set and miscalculate the power imbalance? I bet she won't be crawling back for another round of this treatment.

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The Outlaw Established Member

The Outlaw

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No need to block her after such a short time. Unblock her and see where it goes.

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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My friends told me she is probably mad and will contact after 2 weeks. And now I pulled the plug too soon.

 

 

You know what? I don't think so.

 

 

she reached for passive aggressive tactics instead of telling you that what you said hurt her feelings or that she felt her motives/actions were misunderstood---but to give you the silent treatment over a very valid request? That's game playing--and do you really need a girlfriend who can't resolve conflict and does this mess instead?

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I've been talking to a girl for 2 months.

 

 

this is due to too much talk for too long a time beforehand. You'd created an unsustainable habit of too much chatter.

 

^^^ this right here.

 

 

I totally agree. For someone you haven't even laid eyes on yet?

 

She's constructed a version of who she thinks you are and that version texts/talks all day, despite professional obligations. That guy is who she was investing in, not necessarily you.

 

 

What is the hold up in meeting one another face to face? That needs sorting, unless you want an electronic girlfriend who just wants to text all day. Are you sure she isn't a scammer/catfish?

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dateme Established Member

dateme

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^^^ this right here.

 

 

I totally agree. For someone you haven't even laid eyes on yet?

 

She's constructed a version of who she thinks you are and that version texts/talks all day, despite professional obligations. That guy is who she was investing in, not necessarily you.

 

 

What is the hold up in meeting one another face to face? That needs sorting, unless you want an electronic girlfriend who just wants to text all day. Are you sure she isn't a scammer/catfish?

 

I said we get together when we're both free. The sex is great. We just are busy. I was starting to like her but she just made me mad.

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dateme Established Member

dateme

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It's not practical to be texting for several hours a day for two months with someone you're not boning (and even then, who does that?), so real life (your workload) was bound to kick in at some point. You were probably a bit push and pull and "I need 2 weeks off" to a girl puts her in a low priority category. The switch was too dramatic and this is due to too much talk for too long a time beforehand. You'd created an unsustainable habit of too much chatter.

 

Good point.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

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dude you're already friendzoned, move on tho the next girl

kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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I said we get together when we're both free. The sex is great. We just are busy. I was starting to like her but she just made me mad.

 

 

Oh, good--you have met. Disregard that post.

 

Yeah, blocking her was a bit like taking a sledgehammer to kill a gnat. That's a move you make when You. Are. Done.

 

I think if you felt that things are worth it to save this, then you owe her an apology and you shouldn't wait for her to figure out she's no longer blocked.

 

But you're going to have to get across to her in some fashion that when you are busy, it's not because you're trying to blow her off--you literally have things to do and can't be disturbed.

 

I think you can salvage this, but you need to work on the lashing out thing. She now has an experience of it from you; don't create a pattern. It'll put your further away from that which you say you want.

Edited by kendahke
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Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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Why did you block her? You are flip-flopping all over the place. IMO, if she is not turned off by you being overly dramatic with needing space, then flip-flopping and going to the extent that you blocked her will turn her off.

 

I don't think either of you did anything that horrible that blocking was in order. And look where it got you...you are still on here wondering if you did the right thing and hoping she contacts you! So it got you nowhere. Now you will wonder if she has contacted you in the time she has been blocked and will probably end up contacting her since you don't know and feel regret. So i think it's actually backfiring what you did.

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PRW Established Member

PRW

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You were both texting too much. Don't start a precedent you aren't able to maintain.

 

You over reacted in a very childish way. Blocked her? Horribly childish in the context you described. I block Robo-Calls and Telemarketers,...not women that I've dated, am supposed to have some kind of feelings for, who might text me a little too much or at an inconvenient time. I certainly don't "go off" on them either.

 

There's no point in worrying if you ended it too soon,...she's probably already got another guy by now. If she is attractive she has them waiting in line,...she just grabs the next one. Guys generally don't have that luxury.

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Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Why did you get so mad about text messages? If you're busy, don't reply until you're free. Was she giving you a hard time about not texting back fast enough? If not, it sounds like you overreacted, which suggests you pushed her away for a different reason.

 

Don't tell a woman you "need a break" unless you're OK losing her. The lion wouldn't tell his lioness he "needs a break" and leave her unguarded and unprotected for 2 weeks... or even a day. That's plenty of time for another lion to snatch her away.

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chillii Established Member

chillii

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l honestly can not believe some of the stuff round here, how old are you for peat sake anyway.

You get mad you say and tell her that, she was nice about it which if you got mad you didn't deserve anyway, next day you back flip , next you block her but you don't want any games, yeah right.

Why did you even block her in the first place anyway what you expected her jumping all over ya 5mins after all that. And now ya can't figure it out , ahh, unblock the poor girl for a start.

Of course though she's figured out you blocked her in the first place after getting mad and back flipping ahh, doubt you'll be hearing from her again anyway.

  • Like 1
I'veseenbetterlol Established Member

I'veseenbetterlol

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Sounds like to me that she's done. I can't say I blame her. Surely you didn't think that was going to go over well did you? Did you think the hook was set and miscalculate the power imbalance? I bet she won't be crawling back for another round of this treatment.

 

I'd be done too! You treated her really poorly instead of trying to figure out a balance. Had she continued w/annoying texting, then you could take action. Asking for breaks is saying you are done.

 

Btw had she not granted your wish for space, you'd be upset that she wasn't leaving you alone. She is giving you space, enjoy!

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Yup, anyone who asks for space will find themselves with permanent space.

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Arieswoman Established Member

Arieswoman

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anyone who asks for space will find themselves with permanent space.

 

 

 

 

:D Love it !

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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yeah, you tell me you want space and you go so far as to block me.

 

That’s the last you will ever hear from me.

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ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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Do you have a bit of a quick temper in general, OP?

 

It's unlikely she will want anything to do with you after this, dude.

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spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

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You got mad at her for texting? If she was texting too much, it is easy enough to say, sorry but I'm working and can't respond to texts until after work. If she persisted, then politely reiterate. If she continued then, you may have cause to be annoyed.

 

If a guy said to me he wanted a break, he would get one and it would last for ever. If I found he had blocked me after saying something like that, I would just be convinced I did the right thing and that he was inconsiderate and childish.

 

Blocking is something people do:

 

- because they can't bear to be in contact (if it was an ex, for example)

- because they are dealing with a nutter/dangerous character/stalker

- in anger because they want to cause maximum hurt.

  • Like 1
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dateme Established Member

dateme

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yeah, you tell me you want space and you go so far as to block me.

 

That’s the last you will ever hear from me.

 

Obviously if I blocked her then I'm over it. She's childish to get an attitude about it.

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dateme Established Member

dateme

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You got mad at her for texting? If she was texting too much, it is easy enough to say, sorry but I'm working and can't respond to texts until after work. If she persisted, then politely reiterate. If she continued then, you may have cause to be annoyed.

 

If a guy said to me he wanted a break, he would get one and it would last for ever. If I found he had blocked me after saying something like that, I would just be convinced I did the right thing and that he was inconsiderate and childish.

 

Blocking is something people do:

 

- because they can't bear to be in contact (if it was an ex, for example)

- because they are dealing with a nutter/dangerous character/stalker

- in anger because they want to cause maximum hurt.

 

If she can't handle a break then we aren't meant to be together.

LivingWaterPlease Established Member

LivingWaterPlease

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Obviously if I blocked her then I'm over it. She's childish to get an attitude about it.

 

I thought you began this thread after blocking her? If so, you're not over it.

 

To me, she doesn't sound childish. No offense but you kind of do.

 

The two of you were texting a lot and seeing each other then you got very busy. The thing to do is to tell her that your work is demanding so your texting may slow down but you'll look forward to picking back up when your intense work period is over.

 

When you're in what you consider to be any type of relationship (texting, dating and/or both) that you want to continue and you need to slow things down for whatever reason it's considerate to let the other person know your intentions are to pick things back up at whatever point you decide it's practical, feasible, whatever.

 

Saying you need a two week break would make me think you wanted to break off the R.

 

She was gracious and understanding when you did that and probably thinks you broke things off with her.

  • Like 3
I'veseenbetterlol Established Member

I'veseenbetterlol

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If she can't handle a break then we aren't meant to be together.

 

Its not about her not being able to handle breaks. This is about you and trying to work on issues instead of asking for space.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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