elfamale Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I’ve been seeing this girl occasionally for a few months, and she’s a very shy girl who can be quite cheeky sometimes when texting. We’ve been to each other’s places before but only for a very short while to chat and hang out. It was her birthday yesterday and I sent her a flirty birthday meme, which I’m now starting to think I might have gone too far. It was a picture of a man’s bare bottom with candles stuck on his back and words “happy birthday” across his butt cheeks. That’s the first time I’ve ever sent her anything like that, and her response was “haha thanks! But hopefully that’s not you?? :lmao:” then I replied “You don’t wanna see my butt? Your loss!” and she said “haha not on my birthday, that’s a bit overwhelming. I prefer something more decent ” then talked about something else. I’m not sure if I’ve screwed up but when I thanked her for something she did for me, she ended the conversation with “You’re welcome! Xx” which that’s the first time she’s ever used xx in her text. Does she like me or I’ve completely screwed up?
Kelliousme Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I've got no idea. People have their own preferences. Hard to say based on what she said/how she responded. But it does sound like she's not liking it lol. Personally.. if I just started to see a guy and he sends me naked butt cheek memes, I'd get rid of him lol. It's just very inappropriate to me. 1
Foxhall Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 ah wel no harm to test the waters as it were, her replies indicate better for you to reign it back again and continue as before, the more conservative girls are probably the better long term prospects anyway, so all fine.
PegNosePete Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 If you had screwed it up then you wouldn't be getting any replies at all. 2
OatsAndHall Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 You tested the waters a bit, she established a solid boundary and now you just need to respect that. This was an awkward situation for the both of you but it was for the best; now you know where she stands on things so move slowly. Count yourself as lucky; she was honest about where she stood and now you know. She didn't get angry and she didn't give you the colder shoulder.
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 (edited) After she said she wanted something decent, I would have said..."well I could roll over" lol. Seriously tho, if you like this girl, you keep being confident in how you talk to her. The butt cheek meme didn't offend her, so you are good. She was just being coy because she is kinda shy. If she's cheeky, that's just her coming out of her shell, you just need to keep pullin and pushin back. Friendly banter is what builds sexual tension. You are adults, a butt meme is fun, and you do want to be portrayed as a risk taker of sorts, and that is what you did....you got a few xx....is that not what you want to see? I think she's digging your sense of humor. Edited June 26, 2019 by smackie9 1
PRW Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I think you may have lost a point or two but didn't lose the whole game. Stick to something a bit more tasteful. Yes, I think she thought it was a bit funny,...but at the same time I don't think the tastefulness or it (or lack of) matches her personality,...you need your expressions of humor to match her personality and moral values, which means it is your job to figure out what those things are and you have to do that in person. Stop hiding behind memes and social media. When you contact her you need to make a date and spend the time in person face to face.
Versacehottie Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 To me, that is less flirtatious than it is kind of crude which is maybe why you got that reaction. I think people are typically those that find "bathroom humor" funny and those that don't at all. Like most "jokes" they tend to bring people with like-minded thinking together and if not risk offending them or molding what they think of you and your perspective on life. IMO, save crude jokes for your guy friends. I think this girl could have managed an ACTUAL flirtatious message but this wasn't one. I think you got the "xx" to seal the conversation. Basically i read into the interaction is that she appreciated your effort to reach out to her on her birthday, though she didn't feel like it was the right "content" since when you tried to expand on the subject, she wasn't having it, then she reassured you she still liked you and appreciated you by kind of wrapping it up and cutting off that conversation and the xx was reassurance and appreciation in general. That's my take. ps even with a girl who appreciates "bathroom humor" i don't think this sort of message would turn the conversation flirty with them either off this kind of photo!
kendahke Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 Hard to say if you screwed things up... her shock might not have worn off yet. You'll know in the coming weeks if that messed up your chances. In the future, unless you know the woman that well, save this sort of humor until after you're past the "does she like me?" stage. For me, this would have turned me off--it's like getting an unsolicited d pic. 1
smackie9 Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I don't see how she was offended or shocked if you read her replies as cheeky and sarcastic, which was the impression I got....gosh golly gee, is everyone that much of a prude these days? It's not like he sent her a pic of his d^&%
crispytoast Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 She didn't react favorably because there was no candle in butthole action. When she said "hopefully that's not you?" it was because she found the model in the original picture to be unalpha because he lacked the courage to have a lit candle in his butthole. Her ridicule was a signal that she wanted you to properly recreate the photo. Like the candles on a birthday cake, you blew this one, OP.
d0nnivain Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 xx use to stand for kisses before we had the kiss emoji. You're fine. She just went old school. Relax. Had you asked I would have suggested that you send her a snail mail actual paper birthday card because it's more tangible then some meme.
spiderowl Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 Yes, you probably went too far and she let you know it was not her type of humour. In my experience, guys who go to far or whose humour does not appeal to me inevitably do it again. It is a kind of testing. I expect you will do something else and get the same kind of response. More than twice and she will walk. 1
The Outlaw Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 (edited) It's a safe bet to say you're in the clear. Don't worry about it. If it had offended her, it'd be game over. Edited June 26, 2019 by The Outlaw
elaine567 Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 As it was her birthday, she no doubt was expecting something romantic or cutesy or something that meant something to her or reflected her personality, or if you particularly wanted to go down the humorous path, an "in joke" between the two of you. Bare butt cheeks - why??? 2
Versacehottie Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I think it's possible she could be rethinking where things should go with you. Basically agree with whoever said that people a sort of crude sense of humor do usually do it again. While it might be a misstep, for a lot of people it would be a deal breaker because it's a person you don't want to be embarrassed about with others. Just speaking to the fragility of things at the beginning and how some would view it--not saying you are a bad guy. Also agree with the person that said she was probably expecting something sweet or endearing or flattering and instead she got a crude joke and an attempt to steer the conversation toward naked butts!!! So basically it's bad timing as well--even if she is down with these sorts of jokes, it probably wasn't the moment for one. Sexy it sure wasn't! Combined with her being shy and somehow i have the feeling that there may have never been sexy texts between you two up to this point. So the whole thing would have been jarring to her. I think she handle it well & you kind of misstepped and then tried to keep it going. I hope you are doing something nice for her for her birthday
preraph Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 Just don't say another word about it. It was crass, but she seemed to have a sense of humor about it. Just don't do crass again to be safe. Do not grovel and apologize or make any more of it at all. Shut up about it. I don't think it is a game changer. 1
Author elfamale Posted June 27, 2019 Author Posted June 27, 2019 Combined with her being shy and somehow i have the feeling that there may have never been sexy texts between you two up to this point. So the whole thing would have been jarring to her. I think she handle it well & you kind of misstepped and then tried to keep it going. I hope you are doing something nice for her for her birthday Yes, you’re right, we’ve never exchanged sexy texts as she’s a very reserved girl. She only uses smiley and laughing emojis a lot in our texts. I’ve known her for a few years as an acquaintance/ friend and only recently thought about dating her as I got to know her better. She’s been a very sweet person, always giving me freebies like huge quantities of expensive protein shakes and supplements which she thinks I might need when she receives them from work which she doesn’t need, or asking if I need help with anything when I was sick for a week and couldn’t meet her. So after that butt meme topic was brushed aside, she asked how was my weekend with my friends who travelled interstate (I briefly mentioned it to her a week ago) etc plus other stuff, so I told her I am very grateful for her thinking of me, which is why she said you’re welcome with the xx, which was a surprise. Ergh! Hope I haven’t been friend zoned!
Acacia98 Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 xx use to stand for kisses before we had the kiss emoji. You're fine. She just went old school. Relax. Exactly! I've been sitting here wondering whether there's something I'm missing as so many seem to be interpreting kisses so negatively...
olivetree Posted June 28, 2019 Posted June 28, 2019 If it was a nice bum, I think it's more of a meme I would expect to get from a girlfriend. If it was a hairy bum, I would expect that to be sent from one guy to another. Either way, it's neither flirty nor sexy and has a friend vibe. If the relationship dissolves over a meme then you haven't lost anything anyway. By the way, just wanted to say... https://gph.is/2iXxiiF 1
OnlyHonesty Posted June 28, 2019 Posted June 28, 2019 My take on this is that guys should stop being so afraid, and stop walking on eggshells. You showed a sense of humor, and you should own it, instead of second guessing yourself so much. What is she? a delicate butterfly? Reading this was painful. Are you that afraid of messing things up? I wonder if you have any idea how much more fun things are when you don't worry about that sort of thing. Sure, have tact, and use common sense,but stop being afraid of her walking away....she's just a human-being.
basil67 Posted June 28, 2019 Posted June 28, 2019 You hope you haven't been friendzoned. Thing is, it sounds like you've been happily mutual friends for a long time already and it's only recently that you've seen her as more. Therefore, she's been in your friendzone and you've been in hers. If you want to make it more, you'll have to be more assertive in your approach - I highly suggest asking her if she'd like to come on a date with you. And I agree with the poster who said that a cute butt gets sent from one girl to another. A hairy bum from one guy to another. Honestly, if I was her, I'd be wondering about your sexual preferences
Author elfamale Posted June 28, 2019 Author Posted June 28, 2019 You hope you haven't been friendzoned. Thing is, it sounds like you've been happily mutual friends for a long time already and it's only recently that you've seen her as more. Therefore, she's been in your friendzone and you've been in hers. If you want to make it more, you'll have to be more assertive in your approach - I highly suggest asking her if she'd like to come on a date with you. And I agree with the poster who said that a cute butt gets sent from one girl to another. A hairy bum from one guy to another. Honestly, if I was her, I'd be wondering about your sexual preferences Yes, we’ve been friends for a long time, except I’m not sure if she realised every time I asked her out for coffee or dinner, they’re meant to be dates rather than just 2 friends hanging out. And no, it wasn’t a hairy butt. It was a muscular butt of a well-built guy, and I am a 100% straight guy into girls, and I chose that picture because I know she likes tall, muscular guys.
elaine567 Posted June 28, 2019 Posted June 28, 2019 ...I chose that picture because I know she likes tall, muscular guys. You want her to like YOU, so essentially sending her a pic of some other guy's buttocks is IMO a friend thing to do, (dare I say it a homosexual friend thing to do). She needs to see YOU as hot and sexy, potential lover/bf material. I would never send a pic of a good looking woman to a guy I was interested in, even as a joke, as I want his interest focused solely on me, I do not want to set up a comparison where I may come off the loser. Time to stop the friend stuff and make your intentions clearer, you have already wasted enough time on this woman. If she isn't interested in anything more than friends, time to move on.
Versacehottie Posted June 28, 2019 Posted June 28, 2019 While my opinion is that it wasn't the right joke, I do agree with Only Honesty that you can't walk on eggshells and you do need to be yourself. When a guy has a sense of humor that is crass or uses it inappropriately, you kinda know he will either be stifling it (which might lead to arguments or him not feeling like himself) or it will pop up again at inopportune time. And really who is to say one person's opinion of what is funny is the "right" one--someone will and does like a sense of humor that matches yours for sure. BTW, in saying all this, by no means is there a determination of where she stands or even that the joke didn't fly with her. She's known you for a long time so she can't really be surprised that much by your humor. Are you dating now or still just friends (perhaps flirting or talking)? I still think regardless of whether she finds the joke crude, it's not romantic or sexy. It's not about you and her, it's not nice things about her & it's not flirtatious--even if in some way you think it is. Not trying to crucify you, just trying to explain how the majority of girls i know would take this. And i don't think it's the end of the world but it's not helping your case with her IMO. Ok, hope that you have a good update & things are fine/good.
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