Curiousroxy86 Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I agree with everyone that says nice isnt the problem women like nice men...but there is a caveat. women like nice men they are attracted to letting a guy have sex doesnt always mean they are attracted to you or like you to the point of wanting to continue seeing you. and attractiveness has alot more to do than just natural good looks. understand your not everybodys cup of tea so dont be afraid of losing a girl but there is always room for improvement in how we attract and maintain attraction to increase your chances that you dont lose someone over lack of attraction (within your control). the only thing you can do is be your most attractive self and the one you want that wants you back will stick longer maybe towards a relationship and if you two are compatible and are relationship-intelligent will stick much longer hopefully for a lifetime if thats even what you want. as with everything there are no guarantees of course. sometimes two people who attempt to come together miss either compatibility or wasnt attracted enough or both to make it all the way to wanting to be with each other continually. understand many things are out of your control. some women may not be into you over something about you that you cant change or something you dont want to change. so just keep that in mind. dont worry about being "too nice". do care about what you can control/want to control in terms of attraction. you determine how you can and want to improve on your own attractiveness and pretty much dont give ish about the rest . let go of the outcome. but in general when it comes to how we are attracted here are a few categories (again you determine where you can and want to improve)... great hygiene. well groomed? do you iron? do you smell like a sexy man? or do you have nasty unattractive habits concerning hygiene? confidence/self respect. do you have opinions? do you have standards? are you comfortable in your own skin? are you sure of yourself when you say things? do you have self esteem? do you walk and talk like you value yourself as person? do you love and accept yourself? interest. do you show interest in a masculine proactive way? do you make decisions? initiate calls and texts most of the time especially after sex? fun. do you offer up ideas for you and your date to have a great time? do you do things in your own life to enjoy when your not around her? do you have things to talk about? do you have some kind of sense of humor? do you laugh? happy. are you a happy person? no one likes depressing. do you complain? have a negative outlook? angry at the world? blame others? affectionate and sex. can you read her non verbal ques well? do you show her you like her the way you touch and kiss her? can you read if she likes your touch and kiss? can you read her when she shows pleasure and repeat that what you did maybe add intensity or are you only thinking of getting yours that you miss that? are you too much in your head or focusing on performing that you missed what you were particularly doing that makes her moan. respectful. I know you think your nice but alot of people who are nice can still miss nonverbal ques to the point they lose the concept of respect. can be so giving or accommodating that they do things that is a bit intrusive, needy, and smothering so to speak. do you pay attention if she is comfortable. can you read her level of personal space. can you read her face if she is welcoming to your advances or irritated. genuine. we are attracted to people who are real (or atleast seem real). you dont have to lack tact. but dont play games and dont be fake. dont give empty compliments trying to blow up her ego or say anything to just get her to have sex lol. dont try to just shallowly flatter instead give genuine thoughtful compliments. be considerate but also have opinions. healthy. it goes back to happy. the reason most people find being fit and good hygiene attractive is not just on the surface level it looks good. but looking healthy says this person is happy and therefore can contribute to my own well being (even if thats not necessarily true). depression is just not attractive no matter how you slice it. nobody wants to be around "depressed" and if you look like your health is failing or do things that go against your health that can be unattractive because it looks depressing or give a negative outlook on your own well being and those around. people equate health to happiness and their own well being emotional well being. do you show that your emotionally well and can you contribute to someone elses emotional well being. meaning your not emotionally a liability. yes you may be nice and that does contribute but its not the only thing a person looks at. are you stingy? do you lack tact? are you critical? are you angry? are you inconsiderate? are you confrontational? being nice, polite, well mannered is a small part. physical well being. healthy is part of it but do you do things that dont make a woman feel safe. like not walking her to her car at night after a date for example lol. small but that leaves a lasting impression in her mind. any habits that just seem harmful to yourself or another. financial well being. do you have habits that seem like you can be a liability to her money or your own? aware. goes back to reading ques. basic knowledge on women, dating, good manners, and for some people current events. are you a bit socially awkward? these areas see where you can improve your level attractiveness and dont think nice is a problem. nice is part of attractiveness. its normally what you lack in attractiveness is what people tend to judge on. and remember focus on what you can and want to control. a big take away for men imo when it comes to attraction is really learn to read a woman. if you can do that you will do well. if you can read that she is genuinely interested. enthusiastic, like what your doing, like you, like being with you, like touching you and kissing you then you keep doing what your doing. you pursue. if you sense the opposite. you gotta pull it back 1
Lotsgoingon Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 I agree with the taking charge thing but it’s hard to stay interested when your doing 90% of the work, well for me it is. "Taking charge" (I prefer "initiating") does not mean you're doing 90 percent of the work. There is no more work involved in being the first person to call than it is to be the second person who returns the call. There is only a little more work in suggesting a new date idea (you might do a little research and thinking) than it to consider and respond to the date idea. Think reciprocal. You make a move. She makes a responding move. You're walking with her and you enter into her space and she responds by staying there in that space You are walking next to her and you put your arm around her and she puts her arm around you. You touch her hand, she reaches her fingers around your hand. It should almost be seamless. You should not be doing 90 percent of the work. That means you're putting your arms around her ... getting no response ... and then 30 later, putting your arms around her again ... and getting only a little response ... and you keep stressing and worrying about how to get her to respond. You send out a signal. Wait for a matching signal. If she's interested, she'll will match your move, match your interest--sometimes more. And her response shouldn't be hard to interpret. In fact, when you get really in sync, you'll make a move partly based on a signal of interest from her. If you're straining to determine whether she's interested, then there isn't an interest. And if you feel like you're working hard and doing 90 percent of the work, then back off. This isn't the person for you. 2
Versacehottie Posted June 26, 2019 Posted June 26, 2019 totally agree with lots! Not to mention, what women typically expect from the way they are conditioned by gender (and the majority of the men they deal with besides you generally). If she becomes your gf, I will guess that you will see things even out in terms of effort (in the way you see effort)--I do agree with lotsgoingon that if she is reciprocating what you initiate that IS equal effort. But you will probably see a shift in percentage of times she initiates the longer you date. Listen to feel like your "effort" is not worth it, kind of presumes that you are not 100% confident and sure that you deserve to be there dating her. If you shift your perspective, in that you do deserve it and see it as more of a positive thing rather than a burden or unwanted obligation, you should probably have more fun. I think you probably want more reassurance in the form of her initiating or chasing you--but then i will guess, same as many guys, that the girls who often do this right up front aren't the ones that interest you, right?
Foxhall Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 Also, I agree with the poster who wrote that being 'nice' isn't the problem. Rather, it's about being to accommodating, wishy washy or agreeable. I really appreciate a man who says "no" if my plans don't suit him. lol I was chatting my good Hungarian friend today actually and she echoed this particular thought, she much prefers a guy to voice his mind if he does not like something rather than trying to be gentlemanly and going along with things, as a general observation too, a lot of women are attracted to " a man with an edge" rather than the too sweet and nice types. 2
alphamale Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 as a general observation too, a lot of women are attracted to " a man with an edge" rather than the too sweet and nice types. totally true Foxie
crispytoast Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 as a general observation too, a lot of women are attracted to " a man with an edge" rather than the too sweet and nice types. Idk they always freak out when they find out I carry a knife
elaine567 Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 Idk they always freak out when they find out I carry a knife Swiss Army or machete?
crispytoast Posted June 27, 2019 Posted June 27, 2019 Swiss Army or machete? Do you prefer wine or Pina coladas 1
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 Op is only assuming what the issue is...I'm with Alpha, it could be the poopy sex that isn't keeping them around. Good oral is key for the ladies.
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