tacoman Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Okay, long story short. A girl from 5 years ago whom i was madly in love with and spent almost 7 days a week with for a couple years is back. I loved her, didnt think she felt the same, went out with someone else, she flipped (more freaked out) and we havnt spoken for 5 years (she went to europe the entire time after). Last year i found out that she felt the same as me the entire time, but i was just a moron and didnt see it. But at that time was in a very happy 5 year relationship. Well in the spring that girl dumped me out of no where and hooked up with some other guy a week later. None the less i was devastated. So i took about 5-6 months to digest that and figure out what a wanted, etc. So i inquire about this girl from 5 years ago and it turns out she was coming home in september. We emailed back and forth for about a month before she got back. She got back on the 22 of sept. We immediately clicked again. like insane chemistry. have hung out twice (first time from about 4 pm - 1 am.....then talked on the phone the next day for 40 mins......then hung out last night talking from 7 pm - 4 am........i was having a really hard time talking, because i felt myself falling in love again HARD. she was the girl i always wanted from the begining. But there is a catch. the person she came back with (he is staying for 6 months and is actually a great guy, then going back to sweden on his own).....she said in our emails that it was a "open" relationship....wasnt sure what they were, etc. Not to be rude, but he is the gay'est guy i have ever met. and she admitts that to. Like he IS gay. so i am VERY confused as to what i should do, etc. We havnt really talked about that part that much. mostly just having good times, etc. talking about the past and so on. She hasnt said anything about it only that one "open" comment in an email a month ago. But i swear i may have heard her say "boyfriend" really quickly in passing, etc, but i am not sure......and not really sure how that is possible. We get along so well. and make each other laugh for hours. I have no idea what to do. Mind you we have only hung out twice since she got back, so maybe i am expecting to much to soon. I am also pretty shy and may even be acting passive to a certain extent towards her. Talking all the time, but i dont know, not really initiating anything, etc..... i dont know what to do. This is weird. And of course i feel 16 all over again right now around her and am terrified to a certain extent now because i can feel myself falling for her. What are some things i can do??????? i am sooooo confused now. about 80 % of the time when we are together it is just me and her. Lost
Author tacoman Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 Oh, and i do initiate as far as conversation, etc. i was meaning more getting close, etc. i REALLY dont want to screw anything up.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 .....she said in our emails that it was a "open" relationship....wasnt sure what they were, etc. Chances are the guy is bi. An open relationship means that they will see people on the side while they continue to see each other in a primary relationship. If the guy is bi, it could be that he wanted to continue to see men while he was with this girl in a primary relationship. Just because a guy might bat for the other team, so to speak - doesn't mean that he necessarily wants to leave the 'home team' entirely. It is pretty apparent she gets her freedom too, as well. Be wary though - people who are in functioning open relationships, and are happy in those relationships have no intention of leaving the primary relationship. If you are concerned about this, you will want to ask her to be honest with you about her intentions. If she plans on staying with this guy regardless of her outside relationships, you will need to know that and protect your heart accordingly.
Copingsaw Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Your opening yourself up to get hurt again unless you have a frank, direct talk with her. Its going to be hard but you need to tell her point blank how much you like her and ask her what her intentions towards you may be. If she give the wrong answer, at least you are limiting the pain and can get the hell out and move on with your life.
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