SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 What is worse to you when someone lied to you or when someone lies about you. Why do you think one is worse than the other
Foxhall Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 someone lying about you is worse, they are blackening your name possibly, or making false representations about you to a third party,which could be damaging, a person lying to you, personally I can overlook that, it may be simply little white lies or lies relating to something they are embarrassed about themselves so they lie to cover it up, that would be my general take on it, not really addressing your question in a dating sense I suppose, but will leave that to others!
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) My friend has lied to my boyfriend about me and my boyfriend has the audacity to say “I don’t know who to believe” after continuously trying to defend my name I give up Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
The Outlaw Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 They're both damaging. When an individual lies to you, it's just a one sided thing that will lead to distrust of that person. But when someone falsifies information about you for whatever reason, other people won't trust you.
Art_Critic Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 Only the person lying to me is of value.. the rest.. the public story I could care a less about. I learned a long time ago that I shouldn't spend any time or energy on the public stories of what happens to only worry about the ones that actually impact me. For example.. when I went thru a divorce 18 years ago she chose to win the public divorce, meaning she bad mouthed me to friends, coworkers and even professional contacts. I chose to win the legal divorce and not worry about the public one.. people will believe whatever they want to... and she did win the public one but she spent so much time doing it that she couldn't win the legal one or didn't have enough time to spend on it anyhow... So lying to my face is worse as it's the only one that impacts me and our relationship.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) I am currently in a relationship and I was lied on to my boyfriend. Even though I am a mature adult i feel like my name has had salt thrown on it. I’m trying hard to fences myself because my boyfriend says he doesn’t know who to believe making me feel like i am some sort of liar Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
Gretchen12 Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 Strictly in the context of dating? I would say lying to me is worse, and I'd stop seeing him because I can't trust him. Spreading lies about me, a woman he's dating? These lies are not likely to be very negative about me because why would a guy tell others he's dating a bad person?
Calmandfocused Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 Neither are acceptable in my opinion. Liars usually are trying to manipulate, control, big themselves up or cover their tracks. Compulsive liars do not generally make very good partners. The only time when I believe lying is acceptable is when it serves to protect another persons feelings and where knowing the truth would achieve nothing except excruciatingly hurting them.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 Strictly in the context of dating? I would say lying to me is worse, and I'd stop seeing him because I can't trust him. Spreading lies about me, a woman he's dating? These lies are not likely to be very negative about me because why would a guy tell others he's dating a bad person? In general. I’m going through a situation where i was lies on to my significant other and I’m having a hard time proving myself
smackie9 Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 My friend has lied to my boyfriend about me and my boyfriend has the audacity to say “I don’t know who to believe” after continuously trying to defend my name I give up You shouldn't defend anything. You should have told him, "Well that's just too bad you feel that way. If you can't figure it out, you know where the door is." 1
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) Yeah you’re right! I guess my immaturity got the best of me. Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
ExpatInItaly Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 I think this very much depends on what the lie is, OP.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) My friend and i had a falling out a few weeks ago. Now he’s ran behind my back and told my bf that i was talking bad about him and telling our business etc.. Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
littleblackheart Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 On balance, having experienced both, I prefer being lied to; at least once I know. Being lied on/about is a double whammy - you won't ever know the extent of the damage. It takes a vengeful, particularly nasty kind of person to lie about you behind your back.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) I’m going through a situation where I’m being lied on and it’s hard proving myself right Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
littleblackheart Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 It can feel like a losing battle, especially when it's your word against someone else's and no real proof. There isn't a lot you can do other than show your good faith (if it matters to you) then cut your losses/remove yourself from the situation, or it can escalate quickly out of hands if you're not prepared. It's a different level of nastiness you want no part of.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) My boyfriend believes someone else over me. Well he says he doesn’t know who to believe. Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
littleblackheart Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 Well, if you haven't done anything wrong, your bf will hopefully come to his senses. If he really doesn't believe you despite your good faith, he's not the guy for you.
kendahke Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 What is worse to you when someone lied to you or when someone lies about you. Why do you think one is worse than the other They're both equally bad as far as I'm concerned.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 Well, if you haven't done anything wrong, your bf will hopefully come to his senses. If he really doesn't believe you despite your good faith, he's not the guy for you. I just thought he’s have enough faith in me to believe me initially but he doesnt
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 Should i be the bigger person or clear my name. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. My friend and I had a falling out about a month ago and now he’s lieing to my boyfriend about a few things and my boyfriend basically said “I don’t know who to believe”. My friend had told my boyfriend I was constantly blowing his phone up. I was popping up over his house unannounced. I was showing up while his gf was there. He told my bf that I was talking about him and calling him a bum. And basically just throwing my name under the bus trying to say I was dogging my boyfriend. He told my boyfriend i was annoying. Just basically saying anything to my boyfriend about me My boyfriend told me what was said But after saying that he said “I don’t know who to believe” . I’ve been feeling a little bummed because I am always honest with my boyfriend so for him to say he doesn’t know who to believe actually broke my heart. I don’t talk or speak badly on my boyfriend. And he also said i called my boyfriend a Bum and how he doesn’t do anything for our relationship. I have loaned my friend money. Given him food because he couldn’t eat given him things and he lied to my boyfriend and I’m honestly confused.At first i thought my bf was joking until he showed me the texts that my friend sent him and i literally got so upset because just reading the things he had told my boyfriend was wild and insane. A lot of things i had never spoke on.
kendahke Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 My friend and i had a falling out a few weeks ago. Now he’s ran behind my back and told my bf that i was talking bad about him and telling our business etc.. I'm wondering if your friend has some kind of a crush on your guy. It's clear your guy is just one of those weak minded people who can be easily swayed by anything told to him as he's open to believe anything negative about you. I'd dismiss both of them from my life. Neither of them mean you any good if 1. your friend would rather lie on you and 2. your boyfriend is too ready to believe anything about you, then trot out that "giving both sides equal consideration" mess. At least one of them should have demonstrated loyalty to you and the fact that neither did should tell you something.
Author SunFeel Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) My friend is a male Edited June 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
kendahke Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 My friend is a male That's supposed to stop him from having a crush on your man? He's acting like a jealous frenemy who's been pissed at you because you're with the guy they want to be with.
littleblackheart Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 A supportive bf who knows you well will have your back. Does he benefit in some way from not believing you - say for instance if he's done something bad himself that he doesn't want you to know or he doesn't want you to think badly of him? His own guilty conscience would explain why he chooses not to believe you?
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