Fleiss Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 (edited) Hi.. Is it ok to ignore a compliment coming from someone who appears to just be a time-waster? There was this guy - a bit older than me - who I had been chatting with on and off for 3 weeks - normally me being the one to always initiate contact. Even though we were basically supposed to meet up last night, he mentioned dinner stuff with friends, saying he'd let me know afterward. Today, this morning, he would leave town, to only return in 5 days to just fly back from here. Ok, I told him to go on with his schedule, as I didn't want to be on the waiting list. Then, he wrote: "oh, I'm sorry, I would have liked to meet you. You're a handsome guy." To which I responded: "Of course..If I had known your schedule would be like this.. Take care" Thanks. Edited June 24, 2019 by Fleiss
d0nnivain Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 You are not rejecting the compliment. When someone says you are handsome, you say thank you. That said you are not obligated to meet this guy. He's obviously a time waster so move along. You talked. He failed to follow up when he said he would so clearly he's not as interested in you as you are in him. Next 3
basil67 Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 I rejection of a compliment would be to say "no, I'm not handsome". You simply let the compliment slide and decided to not bother with him. Perfectly acceptable. 2
Foxhall Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 Always nice to get a compliment, there are plenty of people who will put you down, "do not put yourself down because there is always someone else to do that for you" 2
Versacehottie Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 Idk, in the context you just gave, I would maybe take the opportunity to "thank him" and say something a little teasing that lets him know that he's missing out. A little cocky, yes. I can't really think of a better time to do it (albeit in a slightly humble way). I don't really think what you did was rejecting the compliment--you only didn't acknowledge it--instead you got to the heart of the matter that you schedules don't work, i.e. you won't be dating, aka you did reject the prospect of dating him.
Lotsgoingon Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 That's not a genuine compliment ... that's a salesman move ... equivalent to the salesman on commission saying "that red shirt looks really great on you." You have no responsibility to treat that compliment as a sincere act of praise. A real compliment has no agenda ... or transcends the agenda by being so specific that it truly reflects a quality of the individual being complimented. What you got was the equivalent of a company caught violating safety codes ... issuing a statement. "We strongly believe in safety. Our customer safety comes first." It's a nothing. Saying you look good in this context is about as relevant as saying you have a nice car ... or I like the color of your car. 2
kendahke Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 If you were only chatting with him on and off for 3 weeks, I'm not quite following why you're stuck on the handsome comment--either thank him or don't... it sounds like your investment in your expectations out of your sporadic interaction with him were not in alignment with what was actually falling out in reality at your feet.
The Outlaw Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 It wasn't really rejecting his compliment, but if he were serious, he'd make time for you and wouldn't string you along with false hope. Show him the door and find someone else. 2
Author Fleiss Posted June 24, 2019 Author Posted June 24, 2019 That's not a genuine compliment ... that's a salesman move ... equivalent to the salesman on commission saying "that red shirt looks really great on you." You have no responsibility to treat that compliment as a sincere act of praise. A real compliment has no agenda ... or transcends the agenda by being so specific that it truly reflects a quality of the individual being complimented. What you got was the equivalent of a company caught violating safety codes ... issuing a statement. "We strongly believe in safety. Our customer safety comes first." It's a nothing. Saying you look good in this context is about as relevant as saying you have a nice car ... or I like the color of your car. You hit the bull's eye. There was no point of him being unnecessarily sugary and phoney.. Thanks everyone for the thoughtful feedback.. 1
Versacehottie Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 yeah it was a bit of a hail mary from him. Throw out a "compliment" when he senses his opportunity with you is slipping through his fingers. 1
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