Am I imagining things ?

[ascofield]

Hello everyone, sorry for my english, I'm french

In french middle-schools and high-schools, we have "monitors", we look out for problems like fights, students trying to miss classes, we help students in difficulty etc...I don't think you have them in the US.

Anyway, I'd appreciate your opinions on this.

 

I've been flirting a bit with a girl (Sandra) who is also a monitor (we are co-workers) and who flirts back with me, but I suspect that she's also interested in my cousin who is a teacher in the high-school we work in.

 

She had told me that my cousin was a monitor in her middleschool when she was 13 (she's now 23). And she told me that at the time, he frightened her because he was always so serious.

 

But in the following weeks after she told me that, I mentioned him 2 times and each time she asked me if I told him about her being afraid of him when she was in middle-school. Each time I told her "why?, do you want me to tell him?"

The first time she said "you can tell him, but not when I'm here". And the 2nd time I asked (a week later I think) she responded "you can tell him, either he'll tease me or he'll say nothing".

 

I got suspicious that she was trying to use me to get him to talk to her.

 

A week later, I see my cousin and he tells me that he saw Sandra in the teacher's room who was sitted at the table in front of his table (facing him), she was supposedly working on a book (she takes correspondance courses). It was on a friday, between 10.30am and 11am. She finishes work at 10.30 so she did this before going home and what is really suspicious is that it was just before the holidays. So she had all the time during the holidays to work on her book, why would she sit in the teachers' room, on the table in front of my cousin's table, to work on something when she just finished work and was on vacation? Isn't it a huge coincidence ?

 

The 2nd time my cousin went to the teacher's room at that same hour (a few weeks later), again she sat at the table in front of his table (he always sits at the same table) and worked on her book for half an hour before going home.

 

I don't know about you guys but to me it's too huge of a coincidence and I get the impression that she's putting herself in his orbit, hoping that he'll talk to her. She didn't look at him or smiled at him but I still think it's too huge of a coincidence.

 

Do you think the same thing or do you think that I'm imagining things?

 

Thanks for your opinions

Edited June 23, 2019 by ascofield

[JEG88]

Pretty obvious that she only has eyes for your cousin. Maybe she had some fun flirting with you, but most likely just trying to get the scoop on your cousin.

 

You should move on and not get stuck on this girl.

[rightondude]

you're definitely imagining things mon frere, but if you're interested why not ask her out and then you'll get your answer.

[d0nnivain]

She may be intentionally placing herself in your cousin's line of sight but since you don't know much about her home life, the teacher's room may simply be a quiet place where she can work undisturbed. The school may be closer then her home to where she has to go next, after work at the school. So her choice to do her work may be an excuse to bump into your cousin. You are not imagining her desire to interact with him. Obviously you need to understand that she's not interested in dating you so you best leave her alone.

[Foxhall]

Could you not take a different outlook on it,

 

instead of thinking of your own hopes,

 

if it is your cousin she is really after,then why not lend a helping hand to put the two of them together,

 

 

an acquaintance and myself had an interesting conversation one day - the dynamics of cousins relationships- anyway we concluded that while siblings will generally have each others backs- with cousins there tends to be more of a jealous or competitive dynamic.

 

not sure- food for thought.

[Gretchen12]

She may be interested in both of you. She flirts with you but it doesn't mean she's using you to get closer to him. When a woman wants a man she can get him herself, she does not need to involve his cousin and mess it up. It's not as if she has no opportunity to see him. He works there too. She doesn't need you to get to see him.

 

It is very possible to like two men at the same time when it is at this early stage of flirting. She may also like another man outside of work. What happens next determines which one of you, if any, she wants to date.

[smackie9]

yup that's in the women's play book.....getting yourself in a man's space, and let him notice you. She's had a crush on him since day one. He's like an authority figure, older man, which is very masculine/strongly appealing to a girl. She's buddy buddy with you to get through to him....so yes, by my calculations you are correct on her motivations.

[kendahke]

Elle veut ton cousin, monsieur...