ChaiLatte Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 I went out to a lounge last night. I just moved so I don't have any friends in my new city yet. I decided to just go hang out. I'm also tired of online dating. So I went to a lounge and it was packed lots of people in their 20s and 30s were there. There was good music and 3 bars. There was also an outside part where people could hang out. I got approached by 3 guys but I have a question about the second. I was sitting on the couch, reading my phone, when the second guy approached me. He told me that he liked my outfit and it was very fashionable. And he said he didn't know how long it took to get ready but it looked really nice. I thanked him and he asked if he could join me. He sat down and he told me he was waiting for a friend who was supposed to meet him at 10:30. It was like 10:10. I asked him if he went to the lounge a lot and he did and he told me the best time to go was Sunday afternoons because it was more chill. (Not sure who goes to lounges on Sunday afternoon though.) He asked me if I was a student and I told him I wasn't. And he goes "oh I thought you were 21" and I said (jokingly) "is that why you came over?" lol. And I told him what field I worked in and he told me was an engineer. I told him I had gone to a university in the area for my master's degree. He goes "oh so you've already done your masters?" And he exited out of the convo. He asked how to say my name again and shook my hand and told me it was nice meeting me and "see you around". I'm confused-- could anyone give any clarification? I guess i just wondered because I thought he was cute. Incase I meet another cute guy, I'd like him not to run off so fast.
Andy_K Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 How old was he? Was he a student? It sounds a bit like he was interested in talking to someone younger than you.
SmartDude Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 He asked me if I was a student and I told him I wasn't. And he goes "oh I thought you were 21" and I said (jokingly) "is that why you came over?" lol. And I told him what field I worked in and he told me was an engineer. I told him I had gone to a university in the area for my master's degree. He goes "oh so you've already done your masters?" And he exited out of the convo. He asked how to say my name again and shook my hand and told me it was nice meeting me and "see you around". You gave him a subtle insult. Implying that he is a creep who is only after young women that he can take advantage of. Maybe this is what he got from the conversation, even if you didn't intend this. 3
Inspire Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 The comment you made about being 21 was probably in good fun, but maybe he took it the wrong way? What would turn me off is if she is interested but not engaging in the conversation. In other words, just answering questions and not really asking any herself. So it feels more one-sided. 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 Don’t take it personal from what little I got from this post you did nothing wrong... He probably have a personal age boundary. Only talk to girls younger than you are. That’s out of your control. He probably felt intimidated about your masters. Again out of your control. He probably felt there wasn’t enough connection for whatever reason and more than likely it was out of your control. Don’t worry so much why guys don’t pull the trigger and ask for your number when there is literally nothing you can and would change about yourself 2
OnlyHonesty Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 That conversation was about as safe and mundane as it could get, but it takes two to tango. It could be that the two of simply had no vibe, or just that both of you were mundane in conversation.
Foxhall Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 He dropped a little "hint" for want of a better word, the Sunday afternoon thing, he is hoping that you might appear there on a Sunday afternoon and he will try to get chatting you again at that point, perhaps he started well enough chatting you but did not have the balls to ask for your number, and was happy to exit at that point happy that he has made a good impression, so if you are interested you know what to do. 1
ChatroomHero Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 It could be he was into someone younger, or it could be after talking with you he wasn't feeling it. Depending how you mentioned the age thing, he could have felt a little insulted. Based on how you describe it, it would be no big deal but you may have subtly said it in a way that turned him off or made him feel like you meant it like, "Oh, so you're kinda creepy"?, despite not meaning it that way. I don't think you did anything wrong. Sometimes you can have a conversation and the other person can be sarcastic, insulting etc., but in a funny way where you just click and banter. Sometimes for whatever reason those things aren't as funny or as playful and you just get that vibe that eh, we don't click. I expect he got that vibe, which you cannot really control. As someone else said, I think the Sunday thing was a hint so that may you go hang out on a Sunday when it is a little quieter and you might run into him. I wouldn't worry either way, you didn't do anything wrong that I can see.
smackie9 Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 He was looking for young and stupid...you weren't it. You dodged a bullet. 2
smackie9 Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 Just me but I wouldn't have given away so much info, I would have been more playful like: Oh I look 21? I'll take that as a compliment *smile*. So what's a cute guy like you doing in a place like this? *laugh* (hah forward I know, but being cheeky works). Ya got to be witty and strong to hold their attention. Try that next time.
crispytoast Posted June 24, 2019 Posted June 24, 2019 Maybe you insulted him with the response to the 21 comment, but if he were better at small talk he could've turned it around in a playful manner. It's not a bad thing to throw curveballs like that, it tests the other person's intentions. He was looking for young and stupid...you weren't it. You dodged a bullet. 1
Author ChaiLatte Posted June 25, 2019 Author Posted June 25, 2019 How old was he? Was he a student? It sounds a bit like he was interested in talking to someone younger than you. I never told him my age and he never told me his age. But I would guess that he was 25 based on some things he said in the conversation. He wasn't a student he worked - and is an engineer. He dropped a little "hint" for want of a better word, the Sunday afternoon thing, he is hoping that you might appear there on a Sunday afternoon and he will try to get chatting you again at that point, perhaps he started well enough chatting you but did not have the balls to ask for your number, and was happy to exit at that point happy that he has made a good impression, so if you are interested you know what to do. Hmm. I hadn't thought of that. It seems like that lounge was his regular hang out spot though. He told me he lived nearby. Not sure i'd go on a Sunday afternoon, that sounds vague. And I doubt I'd bump into him again. Just me but I wouldn't have given away so much info, I would have been more playful like: Oh I look 21? I'll take that as a compliment *smile*. So what's a cute guy like you doing in a place like this? *laugh* (hah forward I know, but being cheeky works). Ya got to be witty and strong to hold their attention. Try that next time. You're right. That would've been a much better answer. I suck at flirting. Teach me your ways. lol/
surferchic Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 I dislike small talk. It really tests my patience and attention span in the worst, nonproductive way.
crispytoast Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 I dislike small talk. It really tests my patience and attention span in the worst, nonproductive way. This x1000
I'veseenbetterlol Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 I went out to a lounge last night. I just moved so I don't have any friends in my new city yet. I decided to just go hang out. I'm also tired of online dating. So I went to a lounge and it was packed lots of people in their 20s and 30s were there. There was good music and 3 bars. There was also an outside part where people could hang out. I got approached by 3 guys but I have a question about the second. I was sitting on the couch, reading my phone, when the second guy approached me. He told me that he liked my outfit and it was very fashionable. And he said he didn't know how long it took to get ready but it looked really nice. I thanked him and he asked if he could join me. He sat down and he told me he was waiting for a friend who was supposed to meet him at 10:30. It was like 10:10. I asked him if he went to the lounge a lot and he did and he told me the best time to go was Sunday afternoons because it was more chill. (Not sure who goes to lounges on Sunday afternoon though.) He asked me if I was a student and I told him I wasn't. And he goes "oh I thought you were 21" and I said (jokingly) "is that why you came over?" lol. And I told him what field I worked in and he told me was an engineer. I told him I had gone to a university in the area for my master's degree. He goes "oh so you've already done your masters?" And he exited out of the convo. He asked how to say my name again and shook my hand and told me it was nice meeting me and "see you around". I'm confused-- could anyone give any clarification? I guess i just wondered because I thought he was cute. Incase I meet another cute guy, I'd like him not to run off so fast. Could be he is looking for a girl dumber and younger then him. I had one guy who thought I was way younger then him (I was a couple months older). That really shocked him and I think its because he wanted someone naïve to manipulate. Doesn't seem like you said anything to turn him off. Keep at it, someday you will meet a guy.
smackie9 Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 You're right. That would've been a much better answer. I suck at flirting. Teach me your ways. lol/ Anytime if you got the time Should get some tips from Leslie Jones...she's my hero.
mortensorchid Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 That is strange. It doesn't sound like you are bad at small talk as this was as safe and clean as possible. As for why he suddenly walked off like that? I am guessing he was looking for a young and inexperienced person. Whatever the case may be, don't sweat it. It wasn't meant to be I suppose.
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