darkrai100 Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 So this girl in my college, I’ve known for almost 2 years now. She used to never reply to my texts, yet whenever I see her, she’s always nice and even offered to take me to her favorite restaurant once. But nothing would ever happen because when it came time to setup the date, she’ll never respond to my texts lol. And that’s when I realized that’s probably just her way of rejecting people. It was just too hard to read her... on some days, she’ll avoid any and all eye contact with me, yet on other days, we’ll talk for hours. So I just decided to give up. After almost a few months of not seeing her around, we ran into each other on campus again. I politely greeted her, and asked her how she’s been. Talked for a few minutes and guess what? She invites me to lunch with her again. The same exact scenario. I was hesitant because I was not expecting it at all that day, and on top of that, I had an exam to prepare for. But she later convinced me that it won’t take too long. During lunch, she reveals to me that she has a crush on one of our professors. Even worse, that professor has apparently been texting her this whole time, and flirting with her to some degree. That professor is someone who I’m cool with, someone who is considered a friend, to me, even though I don’t have his contact information. Just someone who I’m cool with. She knows that we don’t contact, yet she’s open to telling me these things, which puzzles me. Anyway, after spending about a good 2 hours or so, gave me her new number that day. At night, I texted her saying that I had a great time and that I’d like to see her again, and talk a little more before summer break. I wasn’t expecting a reply, but guess what? She texted back saying she’d like to get drinks too. So now we’re getting drinks next week, but I’ve never been more confused in my life lol. Really hoping that someone can maybe provide some thoughts or suggestions about this. Am I perhaps too naïve and not seeing something? Or is she just really that confusing?
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 Honestly, it sounds to me as though she's looking for a distraction in between texts from the professor. I wouldn't get your hopes up too high with this one. She sounds flaky. 1
The Outlaw Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 She's best left avoided overall. Some people just don't like texting, but you either respond to a text, or you don't. She may only be doing it when it's just more convenient for her.
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 AS much as she enjoys the flirtation with the professor, she knows that is not a good place for her. You are a welcome distraction from a forbidden interaction. On some level she's using you to get over him but if you can keep it causal & fun, go & have a good time.
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 sounds like a girl who is open to connecting with you but keeping her options open. I don’t know how clear you were the first time you showed interest in her but did you make it clear that your romantically interested? When I was in college I had the mindset of opening myself up to social opportunities with men...associates, friends, business/academic, romantic. So as I socialize if I wanted to do something with a guy or a guy ask me to do something with him I was open to spending time with him but I didn’t assume it was romantic unless he made it clear verbally by saying so or nonverbally (trying to cuddle up on me or kiss me). If he didn’t make it known then I considered him a friend even though we spent time together. The guy that made it clear he is romantically interested was the guy I either responded with interest or stopped talking to him all together. This could be your scenario. The not texting you back though sounds like what she already told you. She was romantically into someone else at the time. Sometimes when we try to connect with someone romantically they themselves are not available at the time whether because they are stuck on someone else, too busy to date, or emotionally unavailable. Sometimes it’s temporary and sometimes it’s permanent that the person is unavailable to romantic interaction with you. Plus again if you never made it clear that you were romantically interested well all the more reason to ignore your text versus someone showing her romantic interest. So op if you haven’t shown her that you want a shot in a more romantic way then you could be friend zoned simply because you didn’t let her know you want to connect in that way. So let her know you want to actually date her and see how she responds. If her actions remain the same then get out of there. If you already have shown clear romantic interest then she has rejected your romantic interest and is clearly friend zoning you and you just need to find someone else. Whether you continue to talk to her or not I still recommend you date other women and not focus on this particular girl
Lotsgoingon Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 She tells you she has a crush on a professor. She is not into you--not even close. She wants you as a confidant, just someone to talk to. You're a friend. Nothing to be confused about. She's into the professor--not into you. She likes you--as a friend. And heads up, you do NOT want to get romantically involved with anyone who ever tells you when you sit down with them that they have a crush on someone else (professor or student or anyone). Red light. Road block. Go the other way.
smackie9 Posted June 25, 2019 Posted June 25, 2019 (edited) Totally friends zoned. She's bored or lonely and doesn't have much going on so she'll hang out with you/talk to you OR she is one of those people that tells everyone what they want to hear, just bs'n ya. Stop being a shelp, and ditch this girl...she is not worth any kind of investment, friend or whatever. BTW when a girl is telling you about her crush or talks about other guys, you are friend zoned. Also here's a tip: just because a girl talks to you or is nice to you or hangs out with you doesn't mean she is romantically interested in you. Edited June 25, 2019 by smackie9
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