summerslam1988 Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 When I was sixteen, I met a girl. She was the most beautiful and interesting girl I have ever met. We met in the cafeteria of our high school. Shortly thereafter, we started dating. At eighteen, I moved to pursue my dream. She didn't want to move and we broke up. At twenty, I moved back into town, having failed at my dream. We ran into each other at Walmart. We began dating again. At twenty-one, we got engaged. But, a few months later, I betrayed her trust (I didn't cheat) and we broke up. I didn't see her for years after. I even moved somewhere else. Now, at 35, we were matched on a dating app. I messaged her and we began talking. Eventually, we agreed to meet up. We did and it went great. We both agree that we're still in love. There is only one problem... She is afraid to be with me because of the betrayal from fourteen years ago. I have tried to tell her that I've grown up since then and she says she wants to believe me but is afraid to. Any advice on how to win back her trust?
Gaeta Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 Depends what you betrayed her with. If you stole from her, if you hit her, if you were drug addicted, it's not something she should forgive and forget. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 Try to remind her that you are both grown ups now. Ask for a chance to show her how much you have matured & now much she means to you. Then just be a great BF. In a few months she should be able to get past it. 1
FMW Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 Like Gaeta said, not all betrayals are equal. We all have different thresholds for what we will or won't accept. It sounds like whatever you did all those years ago was too much for her, regardless of what you or any of us might think about it. All you can do is ask her for the chance to show her you've changed.
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 23, 2019 Posted June 23, 2019 Trust has to be earned so it will take time and patience for the two of you to work through this. Just live your life with integrity. Also, whatever you did long ago, are you sure you're past the underlying issues behind your choice? It sounds as if she is the one for you so if you have anything you need to work through, in your place I'd be sure to get help working through any lingering issues you may have.
Author summerslam1988 Posted June 26, 2019 Author Posted June 26, 2019 We've been doing okay. But I have to talk to her mom tomorrow. Very nervous.
Author summerslam1988 Posted June 29, 2019 Author Posted June 29, 2019 (edited) It went really well with her mom. She sees that I'm not the same person that hurt her daughter but I'm the same person in other ways that made her daughter feel good. Her dad, on the other hand, wouldn't even look at me, let alone talk to me. But her mom says her dad asked questions about me after I left. I had a really good relationship with both her parents before. Edited June 29, 2019 by summerslam1988
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 We can't give you proper advice if you with hold important information like that.
schlumpy Posted June 30, 2019 Posted June 30, 2019 It went really well with her mom. She sees that I'm not the same person that hurt her daughter but I'm the same person in other ways that made her daughter feel good.. That was a gutsy move talking to her parents. It had to move the pointer in your direction. This must be serious.
Recommended Posts