Talking to someone on okc. Is this profile real u think?might be flirting

[bluesfan]

Also, another thing when on a dating site and a chick checks out your profile but you never viewed her's first is that a good thing? I mean obviously she saw something appealing about your profile pic that caused her to click on you.

 

 

Like I would never click on a ugly fat chick, plus they'd see you were checking them out and think you're into them.

 

 

So one chick who just viewed my profile on match looks legit, what's the best way to message her? Since obviously she saw a reason to click.

[Gosh]

The way you talk about women, using "chick", "kookie" and "MILF", I've got bad news for you. You'd go straight to category of "men to avoid on OLD sites". And wtf do you mean you had to comment on her daughter because she's 19 and you're in your 30's?!

[PegNosePete]

Stop stalking her and checking up on her, you haven't even met for goodness sake.

 

Just ask her to meet. You will soon find out if she's for real or not. If she is keen to meet then great, if she makes excuses or won't meet then just move on.

 

There are a lot of fakes but there's also a lot of time vampires. You need to eliminate both, and the best way to do that is ask to meet sooner rather than later.

[d0nnivain]

bluesfan

 

Is this the thread you referenced in your rely to the poster who asked if everyone on a dating site only wanted to hook up?

 

With respect to the 1st woman, the professor, if you found her too overtly sexual stop talking to her. Nobody ever said that only men were perverts.

 

Your message to Melissa was not good. Your syntax is convoluted. The note rambles & it's too self depreciating. The line about "you woman have it easy" is passive aggressive, telegraphs that she's not special because you read lots of profiles & comes across as bitter. She's nuts for putting a picture of her daughter on a dating website. You commenting that the daughter is a "pretty little thing" reads like you are a pedophile, dating mommy to get access to the kid. Yuck. I am NOT accusing you of such a heinous thing; I am telling you the impression your message creates. Overall the tone is obsequious, not confident. I really hope you didn't send it.

 

Try this instead:

 

Hi Melissa.

 

I'

m

a small business owner who enjoys being self employed. Your succinct, friendly, goal oriented style makes me think we have something in common. I too view myself as caring, affectionate & kind, which I agree are traits needed to make a good relationship work. Because you are also into sports I think we would get along well. Care to join me sometime while I wax on about my favorite teams: The St. Louis Cardinals and the Blues? I'd be happy to take you out for a drink or coffee, your choice.

 

Read what I wrote which incorporates everything you said in less then half the words.

 

Few people on OLD "act right" IMO. It's also easier to ditch somebody you don't really know because your only connect is virtual as opposed to somebody you have seen IRL & will possibly have to see routinely again.

 

I agree with whoever said your vocabulary choices: MILF, chick etc. are problematic. The come across as sexist & derogatory.

[elaine567]

I also complimented her on her cute daughter she is standing next to who looks about 19 and told her it's a beaufiul pic of them and that her daughter is pretty just like her as well, see if that impresses her.

 

I doubt it.

You are there to try to date the mother, not to check out her daughter...

She will not like that one bit.

 

"That is a beautiful of pic of you and your friend, your friend is a pretty woman too..."

[d0nnivain]

If the daughter is 19 it's less criminal. However making the mother daughter comparison, you are going to trigger ALL of the mother's insecurities about her age. Bad move.

[bluesfan]

I doubt it.

You are there to try to date the mother, not to check out her daughter...

She will not like that one bit.

 

"That is a beautiful of pic of you and your friend, your friend is a pretty woman too..."

 

Should I apologize to her? I didn't mean to come off that way.

[nospam99]

Also, another thing when on a dating site and a chick checks out your profile but you never viewed her's first is that a good thing? I mean obviously she saw something appealing about your profile pic that caused her to click on you.

 

 

Like I would never click on a ugly fat chick, plus they'd see you were checking them out and think you're into them.

 

 

So one chick who just viewed my profile on match looks legit, what's the best way to message her? Since obviously she saw a reason to click.

 

Profile views on Match mean just about nothing. Do you get Daily and Other Matches? I do. Every day. Lots of other people, including women, do. Some people respond to their 'matches' by viewing to get more information. Some respond by Liking because they think that's the way the 'game' is played. In either case it most likely means nothing. Messages, shared phone #s, and phone calls mean something. Face to face meetings mean the most because they take you out of OnLine Dating mode and into Real Life mode.

 

The 'best way to message her' is to MESSAGE HER! Do whatever you want. My personal tactic is to message women whose profiles give me some reason to think they might be interested in meeting me.

 

Case in point - a Daily Match this morning - very hot 60 y/o (I'm 65), shares my interests and lives farther 'out in the woods' than I do, so likely to have 'location problems' meeting guys. Her essay is brief, less than 30 words, and ends with 'Joined today so I will be posting some info in a couple of days'. And she was 'active' within last 24 hours. I wrote teasing her about 'joined today' might be 2012 the way Match works. Everything 'lined up' EXCEPT she says she wants a guy 5'10'' or taller. But she's also into dancing. I'm 5'8'' and she's 5'5'' and height is something like 98% kiss of death. So I write about being able to lead her on the dance floor as long as she only wears 4'' or less heels. I'm gaming on her location and sense of humor. This time the gamble pays off. She responds with 'thanks for your thoughtful email!' We've continued to exchange messages and she sounds friendly. Anything, height included, may still 'kill the deal', most likely a younger, better looking, or taller guy. But my point in the example is to try to answer your question about the best way to message.

Edited June 25, 2019 by nospam99

[bluesfan]

Profile views on Match mean just about nothing. Do you get Daily and Other Matches? I do. Every day. Lots of other people, including women, do. Some people respond to their 'matches' by viewing to get more information. Some respond by Liking because they think that's the way the 'game' is played. In either case it most likely means nothing. Messages, shared phone #s, and phone calls mean something. Face to face meetings mean the most because they take you out of OnLine Dating mode and into Real Life mode.

 

The 'best way to message her' is to MESSAGE HER! Do whatever you want. My personal tactic is to message women whose profiles give me some reason to think they might be interested in meeting me.

 

Case in point - a Daily Match this morning - very hot 60 y/o (I'm 65), shares my interests and lives farther 'out in the woods' than I do, so likely to have 'location problems' meeting guys. Her essay is brief, less than 30 words, and ends with 'Joined today so I will be posting some info in a couple of days'. And she was 'active' within last 24 hours. I wrote teasing her about 'joined today' might be 2012 the way Match works. Everything 'lined up' EXCEPT she says she wants a guy 5'10'' or taller. But she's also into dancing. I'm 5'8'' and she's 5'5'' and height is something like 98% kiss of death. So I write about being able to lead her on the dance floor as long as she only wears 4'' or less heels. I'm gaming on her location and sense of humor. This time the gamble pays off. She responds with 'thanks for your thoughtful email!' We've continued to exchange messages and she sounds friendly. Anything, height included, may still 'kill the deal', most likely a younger, better looking, or taller guy. But my point in the example is to try to answer your question about the best way to message.

 

If height is only an inch or 2 off listed on their profile that's pretty sad. If that person is decent looking. A lot these women lie about their height and weight as well. Most men add at least an inch to their profiles.

 

Look at the nhl lol. Ovie and Malkin are listed both as 6 foot 3 even though Malkin is taller. Brad Marchand that twerp is listed at 5 foot 9 but people who have met him say hes more like 5 foot 5.

 

Online dating is basically like a job resume and job app. You lie and exaggerate and fudge it up some to look more impressive. Everyone does it. Of course you must use common sense and not exaggerate too much just like on a resume but at a reasonable level.

 

Like I'm a small business owner. I own a small retail business. I make it sound like its more successful even though I've only been in business for a year and have not made much profit yet. Of course on my profile I'm going to make it sound good.

Edited June 26, 2019 by bluesfan