Talking to someone on okc. Is this profile real u think?might be flirting

[bluesfan]

So anyway I came across this cute chick on okc. First, I saw her on match about a month ago. Her pics some of them from local locations and her profile well played out. She is a professor at a local college and all and pretty legit looking profile. Yea I know hard to tell fake or not a lot these days.

 

She apparently deactivated her match profile but i was on okc and came across her a month later. Less pics posted and not much in her bio. I messaged her anyway telling her i saw her on match. So i quizzed her a bit asking about her career and such and the answers seemed to match what I read on match so I'm thinking it's really her. She said she only had the free account which is why my message wasnt seen by her which makes sense.

 

So anyway we talk a bit and her replies seem awfully flirty for only exchanging messages the first day. Like I talked about my job and the markup on the products I sell "own my own business btw" and she talks about how she knows because the Chinese products hagh markups then explains how she saw a sex toy at a local shop for 100 bucks by aliexpress sold it for 10 from China. That seemed like a really odd reply. Especially from a 32 year old college professor PhD. So I eventually asked if I could have her number cause texting would be easier and said because of all these bots on the websites. She replies that I can come over and pinch her then she says I live far away? Just 30 miles lol and my city is not a super tiny town so that raised eyebrows from someone who supposed to be a profrssor.

 

So is she playing hard to get or a fake? I said the bot part knowing if shes a real profile she'd understand where I'm coming from.

 

Help me out here!!

[chillii]

Dunno how you got talking about sex toys or come over and pinch her into hard to get.

l'd dread to think what easy is then.

Anyway , they don't seem like bot or scam answers to me , but who knows these days, go meet her, pinch her haha.

[Logo]

Either she's got a special sense of humor that you and I are not used to or she's jerking your chain and having fun.

 

So no phone number? Before you drive 30 miles, keep chatting with her, but move on to someone else. A couple of more sentences and you'll figure it out.

 

 

A lot of women are on OLD for kicks. Some are on there to promote themselves as wannabe models. Some are on there to promote a product or a company.

[d0nnivain]

If she's on a dating site of course she is flirting with you. Duh. Why else would she be on there? Mentioning sex toys in an early conversation is . . . bold. If this was Tinder rather than OKC, I'd jump to certain conclusions about her intentions.

 

You think that she should be stuffier because you have preconceived notions of how a PhD professor ought to act. She's a person too before she was a professor.

 

If you want to see if she's real check out the website for the college where she works. They will have info & possibly a picture of her for students & prospective students.

 

Simply reply that you won't drive across town to pinch her without a phone #

[Gretchen12]

Ask her which college (how many can there be in your town?) and what field, then go to the college website where they list the faculty. Sometimes the listing has photos and full profile. The college professor is a public figure, that's why they're usually careful.

[bluesfan]

Ask her which college (how many can there be in your town?) and what field, then go to the college website where they list the faculty. Sometimes the listing has photos and full profile. The college professor is a public figure, that's why they're usually careful.

 

Didnt see her on the main university website. She says she'd like to hangout but doesn't have a reliable car lol. Teaches college and can't afford a running car????

[alphamale]

as elaine from Seinfeld said: "fake, fake, fake, fake....and fake"

[bluesfan]

as elaine from Seinfeld said: "fake, fake, fake, fake....and fake"

 

I almost think they simply steal pics from local women's Facebook pages and use them on the sites to make them look real and local. From reading stuff on reddit I see people saying about half the profiles are fake on these sites and most people having the same issues. Could even be a setup for a robbery. I've heard that before with dating sites too. Match seems to be the worst with this. They're even being sued over it.

[bluesfan]

So I found her on the community college website then looked her up on Facebook. The person is real and name checks out. Has a masters degree in marine biology and also has a side business selling artwork and a website and on Facebook last week checked into the aquarium 70 miles from her house. So how in the world can she not afford a car to drive then those distances lol.

[Lotsgoingon]

If the answers are inappropriate ... including inappropriately flirty ... stay away ... definitely could be fake ... but even if the person is real ... it's trouble! ... They're deliberately messing with your head.

 

Either way, stay away.

[Gretchen12]

You haven't met so you have no way of knowing if she is her. "She" goes on okc without transportation? Even if she's real, you're looking at becoming her chauffeur. Also the inappropriate flirting is just weird. When I was doing OLD I kept thinking, I just want to meet someone normal, is that too much to ask?

[rightondude]

she may have DWI's and can't legally drive

she may have seizures and can't legally drive

she may have a crack habit and spends all her money on that

she may be a terrible driver

she may be a gang of 3 meth heads looking for an easy mark to roll

she may be a Nigerian prince

she may be schizophrenic and her other personalities are having this conversation with you

she may be a nice young lady with a freaky side who's really into you at the onset yet doesn't have a car

 

guess it could be any one of these things. they all seem equally likely...

[bluesfan]

Shes a professor with a masters degree. That all checked out and the area she told me she lived in checks out as well. Since I know her name I looked her up on white pages and that's her actual address about mile from the college. The person is real then. Why would she talk like that though being well educated? She has a website for her artwork and academic work and is on LinkedIn.

 

So shes real and well educated so why would she talk like that? It seems all these decent looking women on these sites when you do get a real person to reply these girls all same kooky or are flakey?

[d0nnivain]

Being well educated does not guard against flakey or kookie. I dear friend of mine is a middle aged practicing lawyer & the nonsense, testing & crap that she puts men through during early dates is insane. Then she wonders why she can't keep a guy.

 

 

If you want to check her out for real go to her next live art show or audit her class (anonymously.)

[bluesfan]

Being well educated does not guard against flakey or kookie. I dear friend of mine is a middle aged practicing lawyer & the nonsense, testing & crap that she puts men through during early dates is insane. Then she wonders why she can't keep a guy.

 

 

If you want to check her out for real go to her next live art show or audit her class (anonymously.)

 

A lot of these girls seem kookie on dating sites. Its probably why you see them on there all the time.

[salparadise]

So how in the world can she not afford a car to drive then those distances lol.

 

Did she actually say she doesn't have a car? Seems like you jumped to a conclusion. The "come over and pinch me" comment was a diversion when you asked for her number. She wasn't ready to give it out yet.

 

A lot of these girls seem kookie on dating sites. Its probably why you see them on there all the time.

 

Some are, sure. But you've got a real one, yet you're looking for an excuse to dismiss her. If you're that suspicious and believe that you can't meet real/good people on a dating site, then it's sort of a self-fulfilling belief isn't it?

 

Just ask her to meet for a drink, a walk, or a casual meal and see what happens. She'll either blow you off or you'll get to meet and interact face to face. And... there are some lively people with advanced degrees, so don't go round judging quickly based on a stereotype. If I were you I'd be focused on getting a chance to play with her sex toys!

[bluesfan]

Did she actually say she doesn't have a car? Seems like you jumped to a conclusion. The "come over and pinch me" comment was a diversion when you asked for her number. She wasn't ready to give it out yet.

 

 

 

Some are, sure. But you've got a real one, yet you're looking for an excuse to dismiss her. If you're that suspicious and believe that you can't meet real/good people on a dating site, then it's sort of a self-fulfilling belief isn't it?

 

Just ask her to meet for a drink, a walk, or a casual meal and see what happens. She'll either blow you off or you'll get to meet and interact face to face. And... there are some lively people with advanced degrees, so don't go round judging quickly based on a stereotype. If I were you I'd be focused on getting a chance to play with her sex toys!

 

I replied back and said next week when I'm back in town we can meet up. I didn't say she doesn't have a car. She told me it's not reliable driving that far. Again college professor and sells artwork sounds odd she doesn't have decent car to drive. She hasn't been online yet so she hasn't seen the message yet. I gave her my number though if that makes her feel more comfortable.

[TheFinalWord]

You're doing a ton of research on a woman you haven't even met. Cross referencing Match, background check on FB, psychological analysis, WHITE PAGES???...you working on your PhD too?

 

If you think it's fake, it probably is. If she is making it difficult to communicate, just move on. Legit people on OLD that don't have mental disorders, aren't looking for rebound or cheating, are using OLD for efficiency because of limited time.

 

Serious people on OLD make it easy for a person they think is worth getting to know. If they're making your jump through hoops, the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

[bluesfan]

You're doing a ton of research on a woman you haven't even met. Cross referencing Match, background check on FB, psychological analysis, WHITE PAGES???...you working on your PhD too?

 

If you think it's fake, it probably is. If she is making it difficult to communicate, just move on. Legit people on OLD that don't have mental disorders, aren't looking for rebound or cheating, are using OLD for efficiency because of limited time.

 

Serious people on OLD make it easy for a person they think is worth getting to know. If they're making your jump through hoops, the juice isn't worth the squeeze.

 

 

Yea, that's the thing. She flirts, keeps flirting back, tells me the area she lives in but wont even give me her phone number and finds ways around it.

 

 

The few times I've talked to people on online dating, attractive women they always seem to have some screws loose. I have another good story of one but don't feel like going into detail right now. Too tired.

[Lotsgoingon]

This isn't complicated.

 

Clearly there is danger here ... Something is up and not right about this woman or the profile she's posted and how she's talked to you.

 

Let her go ... move on.

[bluesfan]

I saw this on an online profile of a hot med student in her early 30s. Sounds liek a lot of baggage from reading her profile. Stay away?

 

 

I am currently getting divorced (I am legally separated). He works in the middle east so the divorce has been dragging along. We will finish signing all papers in Aug 2019, when he returns to the USA. We are still friends.

[bluesfan]

So I found a super hot MILF on match who's like 9 years older than me but hot brunette. Hard to tell if profile is real but she keeps it short about her career, goals, and being successful, athletic, goal oriented, etc.

 

 

So anyway just mixed it up a bit this time and in my message I spent like 20 minutes typing up a super long message that would be like over a page long if typed up on MS word. Just asking stuff about the qualities I read on her profile, etc, and tell her a bit about myself, etc. I also complimented her on her cute daughter she is standing next to who looks about 19 and told her it's a beaufiul pic of them and that her daughter is pretty just like her as well, see if that impresses her.

 

 

I figured on these good looking ones assuming the profiles are real that maybe typing a super long message will stand out more than the typical form, short, and non personal messages I'm sure these women get bombarded with using cut and paste. I know the sites recommend cut and paste and to have generic messages so you can message women quickly and save time, but I think if you're more personal and mention stuff listed in their profiles it shows you took the time to read it.

 

 

Just trying to experiment here. When I do get replies it seems if I keep it more personal that they can tell I read the profile they give you more attention and like that.

 

 

Here is my message I know it's bunched together but it doesn't cut and paste well from match format.

 

 

 

Hi Melissa. I'm xxx and I was just browsing on here tonight and saw your profile pic with your charming smile so I decided to check it out! I like how you keep your profile simple and to the point. You ladies have it so much easier than us guys on these sites who have to write a book about ourselves on our profiles lol. Love the part about setting goals,friendly, and about your career. I find stuff like that important as well as a good education. So I see you're into sales and marketing. I myself have a bachelors degree and own my own small retail business and enjoy it a lot. Love being self-employed and controlling my own destiny. That makes goal setting important to me. Also see you're into sports as well. I'm looking for someone who loves to attend and watch sports. I'm from St. Louis, Missouri myself and I'm a big Cardinals fan and even bigger BLUES fan as well so you can only imagine how happy I am about the Cup right now. I was a season ticket holder with them for a number of years when I lived there. Oh and best of all I see you lists traits as caring, affectionate, and kind. There is a lot of value in that, especially to make a relationship work but also in general to be a morally good person! Anyway, I would love to chat with you and find out more about you. What I read in your summary and about you on your profile makes you sound like an amazing person that I'd like to get to know. Well, time for me to go to bed. Wayyyy past my bed time staying up and writing this message. Need to be well rested so I can energetic and sell!! Btw that's a beautiful photo of you and your daughter. She looks just like you. Pretty young lady.

 

[rightondude]

brother you need to trim that thing up. If you are in sales (like me) you realize people just need to hear what they can get (of value) out of you, not all about you. I'm too tired to edit your message right now, but no....

[Lotsgoingon]

Keep making contact ... keep reaching out as you're doing! Definitely you want to keep your message shorter.

 

That paragraph you wrote ... It's the equivalent of talking to someone for ten minutes straight without a pause to let the other person talk.

 

You can break up a message on a platform that doesn't have good paragraph formatting ... Use the ellipsis ... as I'm doing here ... the three dots ... Use ten dots if you need to when you're shifting thoughts .........................................New topic........................................................A new thought .... Also what often works for paragraphs online is Control + Enter ... or Command + Enter on a Mac (Enter alone often doesn't work--facebook, for example, posts the message once you hit "Enter" by itself.)

 

There have been studies that have found that online reading is really hard if the paragraphs are long.

 

But keep reaching out as you're doing. You can say the same amount ... but say a little at once ... let the other person respond with interest ... then say more ... and let a back and forth emerge.

Edited June 23, 2019 by Lotsgoingon

[bluesfan]

Keep making contact ... keep reaching out as you're doing! Definitely you want to keep your message shorter.

 

That paragraph you wrote ... It's the equivalent of talking to someone for ten minutes straight without a pause to let the other person talk.

 

You can break up a message on a platform that doesn't have good paragraph formatting ... Use the ellipsis ... as I'm doing here ... the three dots ... Use ten dots if you need to when you're shifting thoughts .........................................New topic........................................................A new thought .... Also what often works for paragraphs online is Control + Enter ... or Command + Enter on a Mac (Enter alone often doesn't work--facebook, for example, posts the message once you hit "Enter" by itself.)

 

There have been studies that have found that online reading is really hard if the paragraphs are long.

 

But keep reaching out as you're doing. You can say the same amount ... but say a little at once ... let the other person respond with interest ... then say more ... and let a back and forth emerge.

 

 

She read it but didn't reply. The profile did look kinda bland and possible bot simply they listed nothing in the summary except some brief phrases. Usually I don't send long winded messages like that but just was trying something new with the MILF. She looked and sounded rich too assuming it's a real profile but a stunning brunette. Her daughter looked maybe 19-20 so I had to compliment that of course. I mean she has a hot daughter and I'm in my 30s:laugh:

 

 

Anyway, back to online dating the replies from the decent looking women that reply back they always end up being kooks, flaky and disappear or the once in awhile fake profile.

 

 

Why can't these women just be normal? They can't hold a conversation, and sound really interested and then randomly stop responded, yet they're online everyday still but wont reply back. And I had one who acted mentally unstable and was stalkerish. Then the one I started this thread about that acts strange when first talking to me. Then this other cute one who kept replying quickly to me sounding interested then suddenly stopped talking to me even though she reads my messages and wont respond anymore.

 

 

Why is it online these women just don't act "right" if you know what I mean. It's like they have some kind of issue mentally and not all there. I don't know how to explain it but just something doesn't seem right usually.

 

 

There was one cute one on match that replied, cute, nice and actually talked like a normal person and wanted to meet up but I live 30 miles away and wanted a few days to think it over then she deleted her profile. She was only 5 foot though. In good shape but a bit too short for me. One of the few women that held a normal conversation. I wish I replied sooner now and went on a date with her. At least she was hot despite being short.

 

 

I did have an Asian chick just reply. A couple years older than me but a college professor. She travels to Asia for the summer for research but would like to talk via email until she's back in the states and talked normal at least, sounded educated.