Wywind Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 My boyfriend and i have been living together since Jan of this year. Prob is, this relationship seems to be getting no where. I love him a lot. We were internet loves for almost 2 years before he moved up here but now its just starting to seem like all that time is a waste. Here's the situation : Our sex life has never really been there. Supposedily i am the one that took his virginity so i've been the only lover he's ever had. He's younger then me. In his beginning 20's. But he seems to have no sex drive what so ever and if there is one.. he sure as hell isnt doing anything with it. Now my sex drive is probably beyond what most women have, but come on.. getting sex only maybe 2-3 times a month if that with a healthy enough guy...... He also he's on the computer most of the time he's awake and not at work. Playing some internet game.. (just say its the most popular one out there starts with a W. So i am sure you internet gamers know which one i am talking about.) I've complained and have told him over and over how i feel but it just seems like it falls on deaf ears, pretty much , if he says anything about it, he just says i am nagging at him. That he's an adult and blah, blah, blah .. and then it goes into a whole thing about how well, playing the game is like how watching football is for some guys.. yada yada yada. Heck, half the time he wont even break away long enough to eat dinner AWAY from the screen after i spent all this time cooking it. Talking to friends and all, they all say i should kick him to the curb but thats easier said then done. While he's lived here my phone got shut off because all that was getting paid was like the bare min on it, the electric is next i think.. course these were things in my name so its like he doesnt care. I havent been able to work since he's been here because i get to play chauffer all the time taking him back and forth to work and he works like 10 hour shifts that are set up at the worst times of the day to be able to work really around. I want to work but most jobs open to me is only fast food with flexiable scheduling and we all hate working fast food. My credit sucks too, i mean i am super red flagged because of medical bills so trying to get credit help to get MY bills taken care of right now is impossible..course with no job anyway it doesnt matter...When he first moved up here, the first few months were ok, not heaven, but ok... he bought a computer and got cable and internet hooked up so its been awesome but with bills hanging over our head right now... the computer wont be pawned to help out, nor will he shut off his internet service to help cut back on bills He just recently got a credit card, like within the last week and we're in desperate need of filling up the gas tank, paying on some other bills and stuff but he wont use it. . Its like he's saving it for something else... maybe he's planning on ending this relationship too.. i dont know. I am sorry folks if i am boring you with this and all.. just dont know what i should really do. You know how hard it is when you love someone .. its just not as easy as you think.. but i am open to more advice.. maybe someone else can make a point my friends havent made or family...
d'Arthez Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 This guy seems to live completely of you. If he says he loves you, it is just because you make him pay less bills than he would on his own, and because you are allowing for his addiction to the computer. A relationship takes 2 people to work, and does not allow one person to be obsessed with a monitor. Did you know him extensively in real life before he moved in with him? I guess you did not. That is not a disaster, but: People can pretend they are different from who they are. Especially on the net. As you don't see them physically go to college. Play with the dog. Interact with other friends. The list goes on and on. It is the nature of an internet relationship to fill in the blanks, and if you are in love with someone, these blanks tend to be filled in, in a favorable way. Now you are not dealing with the internet version of this guy, but the reality of this guy. And the reality has been disappointing to say the least. But how well do you know this guy? And are you certain that you love him for who he is, or for who he pretended to be? The latter is of course a problem with internet relationships. As for breaking up, you should definitely consider that. Perhaps offer him a final chance to get his act together. But that is it.
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