calworld Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 I broke up with my ex 2 months ago and she's seeing another guy. I have been doing NC for after that. I read the response about whether to do anything on ex's birthday. They are 80% "NO". But I cannot forgive myself not doing anything. Therefore I am thinking about putting a message(ie. Happy Birthday Jennifer Aniston) on a University Newspaper(she's going to college) but without my name on the message. The reason being: 1. Don't really need her to see the message. If she see's it, she probably knows it's me anyway 2. Me being a nice guy 3. Since she needs space, I don't want to pressure her. What do you guys think? Should I put my name or initial or nothing on the message?
bendit Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 If you make it through without acknowledging her birthday, except silently to yourself, you will come out of it much stronger and heal faster. regards mike
Gottabestrong Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 You broke up with her? Then I would not do anything for her birthday as it might give her false hope of you wanting to reconcile. If she broke up with you, and you absolutely want to congratulate her on her birthday, then I would send her a card or something similar. If you put a post in the university newspaper and dont add your name to it, she might think it is from her current boyfriend. If you add your name or initials she might feel uncomfortable, as other people may ask her who you are and why you are sending her birthday greetings via a newspaper.
Author calworld Posted September 25, 2005 Author Posted September 25, 2005 She broke up with me...I got tired of sending cards, sms...just wanted to do something different.
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 Honestly, if an ex I broke up with were to take out an ad in the newspaper I'd be a tad freaked out by that. It suggests a certain 'need' to do so, and a willingness to take it to an extreme that isn't appropriate to do for an 'ex'. If you didn't sign your name or initial it in any way, then I'd probably guess it was you and still think it was a bit extreme (even though you may not see it that way - an ex is more likely to see it that way since part of being an ex means making sure the person you broke up with keeps a certain distance - there is also the suspicion that the dumper gets that the person they dumped is still clinging, so the dumper will be especially suspicious and wary of your motivations when it comes to stuff like this). However, if I got a generic card signed simply with something like "Have a great birthday, take care - X" then I would just see it for what it is. A nice gesture in the form of a birthday card.
reservoirdog1 Posted September 25, 2005 Posted September 25, 2005 My cheating XW called an end to the short-lived reconciliation not quite two years ago. Since that time, I've not wished her a happy birthday, merry Christmas, or anything else. I do buy something for the kids to give her, but that's because they're still little. And it's from them, not me. Putting an ad in a paper? Forget it. Especially if she dumped you.
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