Exclusively dating a study abroad student and preparing for post-graduation life!?

[scalerroth]

I live in the UK. I've been dating a girl at university for over 6 months. Her hometown country is outside the UK and she has come to study at a UK University on a course for the next 3, potentially 4 years.

We are exclusive and have both completed first year and she's now gone back to her home country for the summer holidays. I'm looking for some opinions and perhaps advice. We love each other but I have an issue finding it hard to do things without a purpose or clear future. We have discussed potentially moving to live together in her home country outside the UK as an option to save our relationship after graduation as we are both aware a long term relationship won't work. Likewise, we have discussed the option of her staying with me within the UK after graduation also (I understand that it may largely depend on our career and financial situations at that point in order to come to a decision between the two). Being realistic, should I deem our relationship from here on out to be a temporary one or should 'I' start working to save money up in order to buy a house in her home country? 'I' because I'm not sure she's willing to put in the same effort to work and save money whilst studying at university towards the above cause. Reason I'm saying this is because, I personally feel like I'm the one that really cares more about 'our future' and her point of view is more of a live in the moment thing from what I have gathered. Her pov is understood by me because, well, she's come to study abroad for a few years and we happened to become bestfriends and then fall in love. It may turn out that saving all the money on my part would amount to nothing if she just wants to break up at the end of it all. But as a result, I would have a lot of money on my hands for my own investments. So I would like to hear your opinions/advice on this ladies and gents. Should I live in the moment and not focus on saving the bulk of the money I earn to get a place for us after graduation- meaning better quality of life etc. or should I save the money primarily to get a place for us after graduation either here in the UK or in her home country (a means I think would help keep us together)?

[d0nnivain]

I think you are moving too fast.

 

Do start saving money for a house & retirement because the earlier you start though the miracle of compound interest, the better off you are. Having cash at graduation is a good thing.

 

You just finished your 1st year. The odds that you two will still be together when you graduate in 3+ years are slim. I expect one or both of you will change your major before then. For now, get through the summer. Keep in touch. Try to meet up if possible. When school resumes, carry on being in a relationship & growing closer.

 

If you are still together at the holidays of your senior year, then you can concentrate your job searches in an area that will allow you to be together & you can make a concrete plan for your lives based on where you find employment. It's much too early in the process to start thinking about those things now.

[littleblackheart]

I have an issue finding it hard to do things without a purpose or clear future.

 

You do have a purpose and a clear future - for now. Planning your life so far ahead is setting you up for potential disappointment. So many things can happen between now and the end of your studies.

 

You're studying and you are in a relatively new relationship; that's already a lot to focus on at this point.

 

Your gf probably doesn't care less about your 'future' than you do; it's just that you are thinking / worrying about it way too much.

 

Chill out a little, have hopes and plans by all means but no expectations - just relax, enjoy what you have now and go with the flow.