Trying online dating again. Waste of cash? Not working.

[bluesfan]

Hey everyone. It's your favorite Blues fan again from years back you might recall.

 

 

Anyway, I moved down to FL and not having any luck meeting anyone in person or online.

 

 

I decided to try online dating again, but actually put effort into it this time and I see why most say it's a waste.

 

 

I signed up monthly for math which is like $42 and I can see why people say it's a joke.

 

 

I'm 35 and not bad looking and not overweight, trim and workout and run everyday and yet after about 100 messages I've only got about 5 chicks to reply back. Read rate of messages is only about 50 percent as well.

 

 

One thing I noticed when reading about match.com especially is people complaining about fake profiles and they're even being sued over it.

 

 

I notice that too some of the profiles look iffy like match.com makes them and some of the users are literally online all day and night which makes me think a lot of them are bots.

 

 

Another thing I hate about match is it doesn't tell you if they signed up for free profile which if that's the case they don't get your message at all because they're not paid so you're wasting your time messaging them.

 

 

I live in SWFL which is the oldest per age average in the entire state. My county has the oldest population in the state of FL so there is hardly anyone on the site near my age range. 30 or more miles away there is more in my age range but even then still there are not a lot to choose from.

 

 

You have to look all the way in Tampa over 90 miles away from me to see a lot of girls on these sites.

 

 

 

Within my 60 miles radius it's like you go on the sites and it's the same girls, bots etc. regurgitated each time I log on. Maybe out of them in the age range of 19 to 44 there is about 80 of them regularly active that are half way decent and clean looking. The rest seem to be older profiles and a lot of them look like bots.

 

 

One of the girls I messaged on there was cute, a few years younger than me and exchanged messaged and even wanted to meet up but she was 30 miles away in Ft. Myers and I didn't feel like driving there lol. I was going to message her a few days later cause I changed my mind but she deleted her profile. Her profile seemed real though and not no bot for once. Stupid decision on my part.

 

 

Another one I got a reply from said she wasn't interested because of religious beliefs. I list Catholic on my profile and she listed Christian and said we're not compatible.:confused:

 

 

 

Another reply was from a chick 4 years older than me about 45 miles away. Said she liked my message and how I actually read her profile over. Said she wanted to chat after putting kids to bed. Never heard back and I messaged her a couple more times no reply. Another one was a chick a lot younger than me. I guess I hit the in box at the right time and she replied back then not anymore after that. However she has checked out my profile a couple times again stalking it.

 

 

The last chick I have been exchanging messages with she replied about 7 times back and forth and was able to hold a conversation. This one is 7 years younger than me. Then all of a sudden she doesn't reply anymore but I don't think she'd reply multiple times if she wasn't interested.

 

 

 

Anyway, I do look really young for 35 though, more like 25 and most of the replies when I do get them it's for women like at least a few years younger than me.

 

 

Any other better sites to try? I looked at Christian Mingle and it looked liek a less busier version of match.com except hardly anyone within a 60 mile radius of here. Eharmony same thing. Signed up for the free one. Doesn't let you see their faces but just the profiles and again, not of ton of users until you get up to Tampa. POF and Okcupid mostly trashy people I saw on there. Bumble again not a lot listed and ones look like fake profiles or hookers from out of area.

 

 

 

SWFL is populated, but again it's older folks and snowbirds. I'm from St. Louis and there are tons more listed up there. I pay for something like match and when I log on I keep seeing the same people I log on each time.

 

 

I've done a lot of reading about match on reddit and such and most say it's a scam filled with a lot bots and overall not very good. Even women complaining about not finding a match.

[bluesfan]

I changed my profile pic and mixed my photos up and posted some new ones to see if that helps. I mean hail marys at this point lol.

 

 

Btw notice how hockey players get all the hot girls? The Blues players have really hot girlfriends and wives.

[cammie]

Maybe choosing another dating site will bring you more results. You said you are not sure about the bots, so I recommend you to use this search engine for dating sites :[redacted] where you have an option to exclude the sites which are using such fake profiles and send automated messages to the users. That way you will get a list of dating sites where only real people are users. You can also search by selecting the desired location. Online dating can be very useful, especially for people like you who find it difficult to meet new people in real life. I hope that you will have more luck with another site.

Edited July 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Happy Lemming]

Go meet people in "real life" that is how I date and have been successful for 30+ years.

 

Many years ago, I briefly tried "on-line" dating and hated it. Based on your description (and others), it sounds like it has gotten worse.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Let's get real here - ALL online dating sites are FILLED with bots to grab your attention and get you to slap down $$ for a membership. That's a given.

 

Fake profiles are also abundant regardless of the site and if you're paid or not.

 

I chose eHarmony many years back when I became single again after being married for 20 years thinking it was more "official" where the members were serious about finding a life partner etc. It turned out that I ended up on 2 dates, back to back, with attached men (one married and one "complicated"). Ugh.

 

Moral of the story? They are all the same. You will always have to contend with bots and fakes and questionable characters with shady agendas. That's how it is these days thanks to the digital age.

 

There are scads of broken and damaged men and women running around online who really shouldn't be dating at all. Add to the mix the abundance of profiles who are online for the false validation it provides them with no real intention of meeting anyone in person. Such is life.

 

The only way to navigate is carefully, take the time to read the profiles (fake or bot profiles tend to have a very similar read including grammar and punctuation etc. With enough experience you can spot them a mile away). Take it all with a grain of salt and remember your sense of humor because online can be very amusing sometimes.

 

And remember to take breaks from it as well. Perspective is not only healthy but necessary.

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm pretty sure I'm over dating sites.

 

I deactivated a free one about 6 months ago when I met somebody. Then a few weeks ago, I started getting a ton of emails about messages received on that site. I logged in to check it out and discovered the site had kept all my info and content, but replaced my photos with some model-looking chick. "She" was replying to all these dudes with one-word bot responses and they were eating it up. It was kinda sad.

 

I emailed the first page of guys to tell them what was up, then deleted the profile. Total scam.

[bluesfan]

I'm pretty sure I'm over dating sites.

 

I deactivated a free one about 6 months ago when I met somebody. Then a few weeks ago, I started getting a ton of emails about messages received on that site. I logged in to check it out and discovered the site had kept all my info and content, but replaced my photos with some model-looking chick. "She" was replying to all these dudes with one-word bot responses and they were eating it up. It was kinda sad.

 

I emailed the first page of guys to tell them what was up, then deleted the profile. Total scam.

 

Yea wonder if half them I write to are not even real women looking to date.

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm sure that any that look too good to be true... are.

[PRW]

In addition to the things you have already noticed, the women get more messages than they can possibly respond to. So they may never even see yours. They most likely never even read all of them because they are just too overwhelmed. Women, at least the attractive ones, experience a completely different world with OLD than what the men do.

 

It is the same old story of how 80% of people are targeting the "top" 20% of the opposite sex. The ratio is about the same no matter if it is men to women or women to men. But then the "top" 20% is always looking for the opposite "top" 20% as well (they target each other). So in the end the 80%'ers are ignored by not only the top 20%, but also ignored by each other because everyone is targeting the top 20%.

 

However the women on OLD get bombed by all the messages because men naturally initiate the contact while the women naturally don't, and that is compounded by the fact that the women are too overwhelmed by the amount of message they get to even have time to initiate any themselves.

[Ruby Slippers]

However the women on OLD get bombed by all the messages because men naturally initiate the contact while the women naturally don't, and that is compounded by the fact that the women are too overwhelmed by the amount of message they get to even have time to initiate any themselves.

This is true. I commented to a friend that managing my OLD account was like a part-time job, mostly sifting through many pieces of hay in search of anything resembling that needle in the haystack.

[Ami1uwant]

I have mentioned this in the last week about how online dating has changed.

 

Sometimes it’s a bot

Sometimes it’s corporate staff..an example of thus. Right after membership ends you are hit with communication requests that require your payment.

 

It’s shopping behavior.

 

In mid 2000s when it was new you had more seriously looking. Some had success and some didn’t.

 

Today you are getting more who are not as serious or looking for that fantasy. As a result you are getting that 90% wanting the top 20% snd ignoting the rest.

[crispytoast]

Bro just become a hockey player in North Korea and God aka the Supreme Leader will shower you with Moranbong girls.

[bluesfan]

I have mentioned this in the last week about how online dating has changed.

 

Sometimes it’s a bot

Sometimes it’s corporate staff..an example of thus. Right after membership ends you are hit with communication requests that require your payment.

 

It’s shopping behavior.

 

In mid 2000s when it was new you had more seriously looking. Some had success and some didn’t.

 

Today you are getting more who are not as serious or looking for that fantasy. As a result you are getting that 90% wanting the top 20% snd ignoting the rest.

 

Match is the worst with that. They're being sued over this actually. A lot of the decent profiles on match are fakes. Also they key to being read is to message them when they're online. I heard its estimated nearly 50 percent of the profiles on match are fakes.

[bluesfan]

Bro just become a hockey player in North Korea and God aka the Supreme Leader will shower you with Moranbong girls.

 

I would totally plow those girls lol. If one were to visit on a tourist Visa and flirt with a moranbong girl would that be a crime? I so totally got a crush on jo Kuk-hyang of moranbong. If I met her she would be mine lol.

[BC1980]

Online dating is just an additional way to meet people. It's not a guaranteed way to find anyone. If you temper your expectations, it might not be that bad. I did it once and had mixed results. I think a lot of it depends on how much time you want to spend vetting profiles. The problem is that the older you get, the more difficult it is to meet people. So you can turn to online dating to get a better variety of people.

[guest569]

I'm sorry you're not having much luck and I don't really understand why. Are there many eligible women in the area generally? I thought it was a bunch of retirees.

 

Did you actually say to that woman, "sorry, I can't be bothered driving 30 miles"?

[central]

FL seems to be a desert for dating, aside from a few larger metro areas. Most of the profiles are for the old and unattractive, or the young and scamming - not too many real people, it seems. In the less populous areas, you see the same profiles year after year, with the occasional newbie who soon disappears. I think you live in the wrong are to have any success. Can you relocate again? If so, do some research first to check the local dating scene.

[The Outlaw]

Face to face is always better. Online dating can be a plus for some, but it isn't for everyone. Most of these sites are more interested in profit rather than bringing people together.

[bluesfan]

FL seems to be a desert for dating, aside from a few larger metro areas. Most of the profiles are for the old and unattractive, or the young and scamming - not too many real people, it seems. In the less populous areas, you see the same profiles year after year, with the occasional newbie who soon disappears. I think you live in the wrong are to have any success. Can you relocate again? If so, do some research first to check the local dating scene.

 

Southwest Florida I live. Growing and heavily populated with old people and snowbirds or trashy women. I think your post summed up what I was trying to say in my thread. But yes I keep seeing same profiles everyday. Pay 40 bucks a month to see same people or new profile that just get deleted after a day or two. A lot of the younger women looking for old rich guys.

 

Tampa is 90 miles away a bit better. Otherwise swfl old people. No woman wants to date a man 80 miles away. I'd try asians but hardly any around here. All 90 miles away. Florida sucks for dating "(

Edited June 27, 2019 by bluesfan

[rightondude]

have you tried Bumble? Tinder? Hinge?

[Happy Lemming]

Pay 40 bucks a month...

 

That is $20 short of $500 for a year. There are a lot of bills I can pay with $500!!

[Ami1uwant]

Match is the worst with that. They're being sued over this actually. A lot of the decent profiles on match are fakes. Also they key to being read is to message them when they're online. I heard its estimated nearly 50 percent of the profiles on match are fakes.

 

Which match lawsuit are you talking about?

 

One was dismissed a year ago of which I was part of as a secondary client.

 

Many of the match profiles are fake.

Match owns many dating sites out there like tinder, ok Cupid, plenty of fish, our time, and a few others.

[bluesfan]

Which match lawsuit are you talking about?

 

One was dismissed a year ago of which I was part of as a secondary client.

 

Many of the match profiles are fake.

Match owns many dating sites out there like tinder, ok Cupid, plenty of fish, our time, and a few others.

 

Yep. I guess that's why online dating has gone to the s**** now. Owned by a monopoly. So match has multiple suits? Tinder seems to have gone down the tubes as well lots of fakish looking stuff on there too.

 

Not a lot of good options.

[bluesfan]

That is $20 short of $500 for a year. There are a lot of bills I can pay with $500!!

 

With the lack of women on there in the region should I quit blowing cash on it and spending hours a day on it in Hope's of new and real profiles suddenly show up.

[Happy Lemming]

@bluesfan

 

Why don't you try to meet people in "real life"??

 

Any neighborhood bars/pubs?? Used book stores?? Sports/hobbies you enjoy??