Iris The Butterfly Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 ^But I reckon if a photo popped up and my partner asked 'who is that?' I would be honest. In fact, most people probably ensure these photos with exes aren't lying around anyway, so they don't have to discuss their exes. Not necessarily. Some of us don’t use social media or aren’t active or have it disabled. I have old pictures on my FB of me and my ex. Hid most of them. But let’s say my bf now asked who is that/ I would tell him the truth. I can’t help but thing that OPs bf is trying to skirt the hot seat so he explains in a way he might feel she will then lay off him. Just a thought.. Maybe rather than saying “yeah that was a friends sister (that I may have hooked up with)” he deflected by saying it’s just a friend’s sister. He was trying to get out of the line of questioning. Because if he told her she was a girl he hooked up with - can you imagine the questions and insecurity that would have followed?!. I mean- this is a picture of him with a woman years ago. Who cares who she is?! Maybe she was just his friends sister. Maybe she was a friends sister that he slept with or liked. Or maybe it was just some girl who happened to be around when someone was taking pictures.
guest569 Posted June 21, 2019 Posted June 21, 2019 Well there's nothing wrong with saying 'I would rather not discuss exes' rather than lie about it.
Curiousroxy86 Posted June 22, 2019 Posted June 22, 2019 I don’t know.... Little I am inclined to agree somewhat about how op might interrogate her boyfriend to talk about his sexual past and he might feel put on the spot...plus her screename says a lot lol...1) she asked him if he took an std test later in the relationship 2) she asked him who are the girls. And she admit that they talked about how she sees cheating so I admitted there has been some talk of what she won’t tolerate so I can totally imagine his reasons for not telling the full story. I personally wouldn’t trip if I came across a older picture nor would I ask who is that in a picture. I would automatically assume it was someone he dated or screwed before me lol. And I’m the type that I don’t care about exes or women before me. I would only care about what he is doing while with me. But.... If certain things about a guy keeps popping off as warnings in your head multiple times No matter if you casually come across it or in ops case asked about it....I don’t believe in “just trust him”. Though I wouldn’t ask half the questions or interrogated like op did if I dated a guy...but if certain things come up naturally that looked sketchy I too would have moments where I am like “wtf”. Strike 1 we will be exclusive when come back from Thailand. Strike 2 took a home test for two stds Not a full clinic test. Strike 3 you tell me about a girl in the picture but left out you use to be romantically involved and I find out later. Strike 4 I find out the girl you told me you was done with at a certain time turn out to be way longer on and off. Even if I wasn’t interrogating him..finding out all of these things at one time on a guy I dated for six months can be unsettling even though these things by themselves wouldn’t mean much. But together? It starts to paint a non pretty picture. people who really are trustworthy just don’t have all that going on I think ya know lol. Atleast not within a short period of time. I could be wrong. Like I dont stress out my exclusive boyfriend with random pops of “don’t look right” that he got to constantly emotionally hurdle....so for me if I start to see multiple things that can be seen as shady within short time frame I probably at the least re-evaluate my relationship and think twice about a boyfriend. I believe in trusting your gut. Most of the times my gut has tried to warn me of something and I ignored it I usually end up regretting it and what I thought was going on was exactly what was going on or worst that I found out after the fact. So I’m not fan of “just trust him” when a person gets multiple feelings of “not right” about their partner. Women who are the long term wives and girlfriend of serial killers and rapists claim they didn’t know a thing....I personally believe ignored their gut for the sake of “just trusting”. I don’t think op should care so much about about his past. But I do think she shouldnt ignore his tendencies to lie along with other weird things that come out of his mouth. By itself maybe. All together I don’t knoooooow seems to risky to just trust. Something about that smart girl comment is unsettling to me. I get sneaky vibes. So if I were in op shoes and I’m getting the same vibes from my boyfriend I would either just leave because I don’t trust him and don’t want to go bat ish crazy over any guy or if I am not sure about leaving over something I technically don’t have proof I would “find out” theeeeen go back to trusting if my gut was just tripping or “find out” then leave if my gut is right 1
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